Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

posts

Member Deleted Post


This post has been deleted by

SylviaSoulier 58F
8209 posts
4/16/2014 6:09 pm

This is a very zen approach Wickie and I agree - both trusting and being hurt by people involve personal choice to a large extent. People do things out of their own hurt, distrust, self-preservation or just not being present.

That said I really do believe that we teach other people how to treat us.


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
4/16/2014 8:01 pm

Hi Roni!

Thanks for adding in, even when the question seemed flighty/confusing. (That's on me...)


"Personal experience: I have an odd perspective about trust. I don't think trust has ANYTHING to do with other people, female or male.

"Trust is inside of me alone, for myself alone, and it is enabled and strengthened by the knowledge I have that I can handle ANYTHING that is thrown at me by ANYONE."


Nods. Some others also share this feeling.

vulnerability arises the more I care about someone. The more I want to be emotionally close to them, the more I love them, the more dependent I am on them, then that is how much more fragile the trust aspect is within myself.
The vulnerability accompanies teh trust, other or self, y?

But if they hurt me, does that diminish trust? Not really, I will handle it all regardless. Does it create a distance, lessen the love, destroy the dependence/need, make me put less value in them? Yep, absolutely. But the trust in myself remains constant.

See?
Very few people I know embrace this way of thinking >>> I don't think trust has ANYTHING to do with other people<<< Roni.
I, like you, more and more, feel it works well...at least for us.

Love this writing baby, esp. given other things that might

preoccupy you these days...
((Hugzz))

Thank you very much.

YTB
BD~
P

wickedsurrender [post 995778]
xoxos

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
4/16/2014 8:04 pm

    Quoting SylviaSoulier:
    This is a very zen approach Wickie and I agree - both trusting and being hurt by people involve personal choice to a large extent. People do things out of their own hurt, distrust, self-preservation or just not being present.

    That said I really do believe that we teach other people how to treat us.
Mm.


Then, each of us are 'same-paging this idea/reality,' Sylvia:

[both trusting and being hurt by people involve personal choice to a large extent. People do things out of their own hurt, distrust, self-preservation or just not being present./I]

Zen-like, indeed.


BD~
P
xo

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace


shellfac1 62F
2293 posts
4/16/2014 8:46 pm

I really like this way of looking at it. I couldn't blog about this in part because I wasn't sure what I thought about trust. I don't really think about trust much. I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they show me they are not worthy. And gender has nothing to with it. Great food for thought.



Become a member to comment on this blog