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likesmatureones 55M
0 posts
5/3/2016 4:57 am
a dick detector


I'm really thinking of going on shark tank with my latest ( and greatest) invention..please hold your applauds until the presentation is done with)...

I give the world ... the dick detector...

Imagine the next time you search online for a male ... instead of wading waist deep through all his pretentious bullshit, you can simply whip out your dick ( er dick detector) and see if this guy is for real.

The device would give you one of several fun reading...such as
1. dick
2. lying prick
3.cheater
4.douche canoe/troll
5. Lives with his mom in the basement/probably shares a bed
6 er..better than most but your better that this
7 Good to go if your horny.. but not boyfriend material/turn him and burn him
8. nice guy.
9 .prince charming/a keeper/whens the wedding

For a few dollars more you could get additional settings to be used say at your job...
Every wonder what mood your (male) boss is gonna be into today? simply whip out your dick ( detector) and turn on the Geiger counter mode...yep just like in those old sci fi movies..

the louder the click..the bigger the dick...

Hell My boss would have been off the charts yesterday....pure uranium!

But wait theirs more...you can also download additional apps like...every wonder what is going on in your male's head/ever wish you could read his mind...simply slip on your dick ( detector) and get a reading..now you too can know what it is like to think with a dick

You'll laugh at the fun responses like..
1. nothing
2.nothing
3.beer
4. did I do laundry this week?..sniff..oh well guess I'll just put on the same underwear..smells clean.
5. sex/porn/sex sex sex boobs ass .not getting any so turning back to pornhub....boy are my hands getting tired..oh well back to watching midget porn
6.Football/baseball/basketball
7. is my dick really that small? come on it is the motion of the ocean right
8. red meat!..oh wait she's a vegan? yeah baby let me get one of those veggie burgers
9. the female orgasm is a myth right?
10.. Hillary clinton

The dick detector comes in a convenient phallic shape... that way if the male in your life is being too big of a bitch...simply bend him over and treat him as one...

or just wave him goodbye...who needs a dick in your life when you have a dick detector..

I'm starting a kick starter fund off at 25 dollars a buy in...


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