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likesmatureones 55M
0 posts
6/25/2016 5:19 am
fantasy vs reality of the lifestyle


Personally I think the biggest mistake in the lifestyle is getting caught up in the fantasy and then feeling trapped by the reality..

It is literally like jumping into the deep end of the pool if one can only doggie paddle.

I think way too many people want to be UBER slave or DOMINANT with big balls ( talking about both sexes here) MASTER/MISTRESS ALMIGHTY...

I think people need to take a step back and realize your dealing with people here...

For alot of folks there is either slave or nilla Dave....but don't consider the third option of a slave named Dave....slowly bringing a person into the water and letting them acclimate....eventually when your both comfortable then you can enter into the deep waters of the lifestyle.

I honestly believe the Dom/me sub relationship starts to mimic a parent/ relationship... the Dominant becomes the helicopter parent and the sub slides into a like state.

I never understood why a Dominant fights a submissive over an issue of control...
I don't believe in the "my way or the highway crap" approach.
If a sub/slave isn't comfortable with that level of control then they are just gonna freak the fuck out/rebel/act like a that sneaks out of the house.

I'm not suggesting letting the sub top from the bottom. But I feel like the submissive has to have a certain level of comfort or taking that level of control will never be permanent. Sometimes you have to let slave be Dave.. you gotta give in a little in order to make alot of gains with a submissive..
The sub will give up the control if they feel like there is some sorta release valve/escape hatch. Eventually these fears will go away and the sub will grow comfortable with that level of control the Dominant desires.
Then the Dominant can work on the next level of control....sort reminds me of lifting weights... your not a jackwagon that just grabs a stack of weights and tries to bench 300lbs ....you grab the weight you feel confident lifting.. you test the waters and eventually you get stronger and move to the bigger weights.

if not then the submissive feels trapped in the fantasy that became a reality.

likesmatureones 55M

6/26/2016 5:15 am

Slave or sub? there doesn't have to be a difference.. they can be interchangeable.. it all depends on who is doing the defining .. I mean those definitions aren't written in stone...



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