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heartofmush 55F
7884 posts
3/5/2015 5:31 am

HOw about all those cheating fuckwits with there profiles:
You need to be very discreet, i love my husband and do not want to change my situation, but i need to fucked hard.
-i will not leave my wife, but you need be my dirty little secret.

There are many variations. Married people using every excuse to cheat on their spouse.

I do not on the other hand have issues with people who have open relationships, but are married.

There are people who lie, cheat, manipulate, love themselves to look like the victim, garnering so much sympathy, but see some do not know the spouse, and so we assume the spouse is terrible. Perhaps it is true, or perhaps, it is a lie.

Cheating to me is a red flag..no matter the justification, i do not buy it as valid. Come clean and say what is wrong. Why lead your spouse to think all is well, while you are cheating on his or her trust.

Imagine you are dating someone, only to realise you are the other woman, after thigs seem to not add up.

I especially like what the Master said in subwife321 quote above.

The cut worm forgives the plow. W. Blake, Proverbs of Hell


msfunfor 63M
10617 posts
3/5/2015 6:35 am

hmmm...people you sound like the church ladies of old .
be brave and try to live free !

be good
M


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
3/5/2015 8:33 am

Yes, it's a fascinating read.


Well-shared.

I like the reality & concept of it being impossible to cheat.

Imagine leaving that part of the contractual agreement [of love plus possession,] out.

Regards to your other.
BD~
P
xos

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
3/5/2015 2:19 pm

    Quoting  :

It is about honouring and valuing a commitment, an agreement, a promise.
+++

Ok, so I'm sure I understand you - if not about possession [exclusivity] what is the commitment, the agreement, the promise to honor and value about as you see it?

Most of the people I know correlate love with possession. It's easy to see why; because it's built into the fundamental assumptions of our culture. As soon as you/we feel love, imagine that you immediately attempt to possess...

that you speak confidently of your boy/girlfriend, your spouse, your child, your parent.
...that you feel justified in holding expectations about those people.

...that you consider that perfectly reasonable.
Why?
Because I think that all concepts of love ultimately derive from romantic love - and romantic love is furious and frantic in its possessiveness. Why, you have to have a Contractual Rider (We'll be open) in order for that NOT to be a deal breaking issue.


Absolutes intrigue me. I appreciate you.
xos

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace


lastguymn 56M

3/5/2015 5:31 pm

"I wish for all cheaters to experience themselves for one day the hurt they are bringing by being so cowardly."

This may be possible for the one-time, guilt-ridden cheater, but sadly, serial cheaters are sociopathic and incapable of becoming close enough to those they cheat on or those they cheat with to ever experience the hurt they cause. They understand intellectually that what they are doing is wrong—so there is no excuse for their infidelities—but they are largely incapable of the empathy necessary to feel the same pain. Good post and responses.


~LastGuy

"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards

"There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles


Sucker4Ever 112M
6750 posts
3/8/2015 6:27 am

Lost loved ones, more than a few, seen and lived through a disaster or two, too. But nothing ever devastated me more, than finding out that she was not true!

Don’t ask me why it came out that way just now, it just did. The most painful, crushing, catastrophic event of my life.
Thanks for reminding me Just kidding

“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.”


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
3/12/2015 3:58 pm

    Quoting  :

Yes, Mary, All right, then; thank you for the clarifications, baby.

I think I understand your Points of View rather well.

And I appreciated the underpinnings of what leads you to your beliefs as well as how you view the contractual/ethical aspects of a relationship are, and what you feel the roots of exclusivity and possessiveness are.
You explained very well.

I appreciate you!

Regards To Your Other
YTB
BD~
P
xoxos

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace



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