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prpackaged 80M  
740 posts
5/14/2015 2:14 pm

It is a shame when you provide all that is needed and the new employee walks away with the prize.
My wife was in such a position. The newbie had convinced her boss that she needed that promotion and got it. With no new business and nothing that she had done to make her indispensable she certainly did not deserve it. My wife wrote out a letter of resignation and I was to drop it off to the owner of the company. She changed her mind. I do not interfere ordinarily but this time, I called her boss and let him know just where she sat and how I felt and that I had that letter in my hand.
My wife went to work the next day only to find that the upstart had been fired. Seems the boss found where his bread was buttered and changed his mind on how to handle things.
Not to recommend doing those things just to say that when one door closes another opens. Hope you find something better when the door opens. Perhaps the job she turned down will be perfect for you? Consider the twist where you move to a better managed company and she goes down with the old.
Good luck

The blackest lie is a partial truth that leads you to the wrong conclusion.


lastguymn 56M

5/14/2015 4:26 pm

Mary, I know what you're going thru. I've been dealing with my own professional betrayals over the past years, but unfortunately I haven't had the fire you have in your belly to strike out for some place new. Wish I did.

You have the right idea. There is no greater revenge than finding your own success and living well. Best of luck on the job search.


~LastGuy

"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards

"There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
5/14/2015 6:00 pm

Damn right you are allowed to be pissed the hell off!!!

If EVERYONE is being told about tightening down and budget/expense cuts and they offer some one more money to stay, its bullshit.

Unfortunately it is COMMON bullshit and as pissed as you are, dont hold it against your helper. You have three days to be pissed the fuck off at any and every one. After that, on Monday, carry on as you always have with her, who like you, was probably putting applications in all over town for a while and was doing what was best for herself.

In all honesty, they may have hired her on at lower than they were willing to pay anyway for her experience coming in so she, being new isnt a hard effort to increase a salary for.

Ive come into jobs, unskilled ones at that, making more money than folks who had been there 15 years because minimum wage and the economy was up from when they were hired. It sucked ass and they got pissy with me for something I could not nor would not change even if I could(though I did try to get mngmt to increase their wages when I found out. Mgmts reply was....'theyve been here working happily all along with no complaints and their wage increased yearly and for cost of living so it was indeed fair what they were making'. He was right!!!!!).

Yep, get your ass back in gear and look for other jobs as well on YOUR terms and then decide from there if you still want to bail or if your irritation fizzles out as it should. I had the same thought as a few others, the place she said no to would be my first stop to apply at IF you decide you are not and can not be happy where you are. Most places suck as.............anywhere ya go it IS work, but if you do not choose to leave or even look elsewhere, suck it up and be glad they did get her FOR YOU in the first place and she is worth every cent and then mention to your boss that you feel overshadowed. I dont know if it will work since they created the assistants jhob for you to have help so any extra capital is probably going there as her full salary that didnt even exist at the company before, but you do deserve to let them know how you feel.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


tahimikdrifter 53M
8008 posts
5/15/2015 7:28 pm

What Cuz said, I mean...how can you go wrong.


slut_seeker 71M

5/16/2015 11:28 am

If you don't mind...I'd like to share a little inspirational fact with you.

There is a Gentleman I know over in the USA, his name I'm not willing to say, however there is a one in three chance you would guess right should you try and do so.

One day the Gentleman was having a drink and chatting to a friend, his friend was telling him how another man he knew worked for a radio station as a DJ, and the DJ was worried he may lose his job, because in between playing records they wanted him to sell things.

The DJ was good at being a DJ, but he wasn't having any luck selling the items the radio station wanted him to sell. The man asked the Gentleman if he had any ideas on how the DJ could sell them, after all the gentleman was an insurance sales man and good at his job. The Gentleman, said he would give some thought to it and let him know the next day.

The next day, the Gentleman told his friend of how to sell those items and suggested a plan of action...which "they" did.

Were "they" successful?... Each one of them became a Billionaire...How? They started their own business... have you ever heard of the shopping channel on TV?.

.............................................................................

The reason I have told you of the above, is to show that many people are afraid to leave their comfort zone, and instead put up with stress and worry created by others, just like the DJ was, yet for those who do take a chance the rewards can be great.

..............................................................................................

The fact that you have brought this home with you and also put it on the internet shows you are stressed and stress is bad for your health....so change the way your life is at the moment.

There are cafes like you mentioned in another of your postings, as you may have seen around Europe, especially France and Italy...so it may very well work where you live with some forward thinking if that really is something you would like to do.

Good Luck! in whatever you decide.


sophis_id 60F
16373 posts
5/18/2015 3:05 pm

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. It's insidiousness is more damaging to the holder than one can imagine. Let it go, breathe deep and focus on Mary. Not your company - not the company's money problems. But YOU. Such good advice here from so many.

My advice is this. Do not focus on your age as a detriment. Finding work is not like finding a romantic connection. Your age and experience are/or should be highly sought after. Use it to your advantage. I often find that older employees are diligent, project driven and determined to do what they set out to do. Work ethics are still important - skills learned through experience are invaluable.

Network. Network. Network. I know in my industry and the peripherals, nobody gets a mid to C level job without knowing somebody. That might not seem fair but it is what it is. Use the Internet professional pages. Join professional network groups. Commerce groups. Whatever industry groups in your industry there are. Toastmasters for crimeny sake. Get out there. Do not sit. Do not stew for that just breeds malaise and discontent. GET OUT. Go DO. Show them. More importantly, show yourself. If you don't value yourself enough, no one else will either.

Your anger towards your existing company would come through loud and clear during an interview process. Particularly if the interviewer is skilled in cognitive interview techniques. Instead, use your assistance's drive as a motivator. Go find for yourself. It is NOT just going to show up as a door. Opportunity only knocks on doors that are primed and ready. Plus you sort of have to be listening. Maybe this is your knocking sound?

Bleck. Be mad at the circumstance - not at the person looking to her own future. And don't be mad at the company - they do what they do - which is whinge and bitch and make money for their shareholders.



Inner Fucking Peace: watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY



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