Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

posts

Member Deleted Post


This post has been deleted by

quietroar 59F
9647 posts
7/26/2015 11:14 pm

Thanks for taking the time, Mary. I love your input.

I remember my mother saying:

A girl never calls a guy.
If a guy takes you out to dinner, don't order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Don't eat too much in front of him.
Never talk about yourself on a first date- always ask about the guy.
Don't have sex before marriage (until I found out her truth) which then became,
Never have sex on a first date.

etc.

and she worked very hard at raising an independent and outspoken child because she didn't want a daughter stuck in the same "traditional" roles as herself and yet, what she taught me was much of what she was taught in the 1940's and 50's.

I remember relating to Scout in the movie "To Kill A Mockingbird" when she had to wear her first dress to school- and her brother laughed. That exact scene was enacted within our house, and from that day forward- there was always a focus on how I dressed or behaved. Just the other day, when the family celebrated 3 birthdays together at one restaurant- my mother actually commented to me- you looked really nice tonight. (Thanks Mom, sometimes I can clean myself up pretty decently).

One feels slutty if you have sex and the guy ends communication. If you come on too strong, a guy perceives you as available- and guys talk just as much as we girls and get down and dirty just like we do. Just read some of the emails that we get where the guy describes what he is looking for- not only is it obvious that he is fishing and never read my profile, but also, there is an image in his head of a lady yet a slut . . . 24/7 . . . . or he is married and wants just sex which basically makes us free hookers.

The double standard is there sadly- and it frustrates me as much as everyone else because while there is a strength in submission, being coy is not a strength. And I believe that is what my mother was attempting to teach me- how to be coy.

I can approach a guy and talk, but I still can not ask him for his phone number. Some things are engrained too deeply.


jenny14 75T  
90051 posts
7/27/2015 1:41 am

Mary

A very thoughtful and thought- provoking post!

I agree - even in this era, it is harder being a female and a lady than a male!

I do NOT know what the solution is....

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


quietroar 59F
9647 posts
7/27/2015 12:52 pm

I like Exhibitibi's answers to your question because my gut reaction to your comment was b) I suck at sex but I like her answer of C and E.

But the definite quote that I think all women should memorize:

"There one to be laid at the door of his self-doubt for every one that you lay at the door of your own."

I need to write this one down.


tinkerfun 46F
11150 posts
7/28/2015 6:15 am

I never throw myself at a man but I can take initiative. I like the initial game but not being too straight forward, not too pushy. I like there to be flirting, meeting at the intellectual level. But never throwing myself at anyone neither do I want anyone else to do that to me.


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
8/17/2015 1:07 pm

I LOVE this thread Mary, as well as each of the comments and follow ups...

Outfuckingstanding.

xos

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
8/17/2015 1:09 pm

    Quoting  :



I tend to share your views here...



Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace



Become a member to comment on this blog