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Talos2013 60M
7 posts
7/10/2014 8:58 pm
At the Core


Some feel it is at odds to care deeply for a submissive, this view comes from the belief that you cannot maintain objectivity towards a submissive when you see them as a person and submissive in the same time. Indeed many Dominate dehumanize there submissives in order to be able to bring to them control discipline and correction. But not only Dominates hold this view, many submissives are swayed towards uncaring Masters seeking one they see as more Dominate. It is however not hard to act against someone you don’t see in your own reality, it takes more strength more fortitude to care and act out of care for a submissive than it takes to not care in the first place.
But why has this view become prevalent, where are the roots of this misunderstanding, almost anyone that has been in any long term D/s will tell you there is more light more hope more care and more commitment than in most nilla relationships, the obvious truth in D/s belies the belief that prevails within the rank and file of newcomers. Part of the deception I think is a misrepresentation of what submission is and who submissives are, and in this they see a Dominate as an absolute figure of authority that rules without regard, removing the persona from the submissive in order to rewrite them in a way, to being submissive, that is a ludicrous as thinking you need to remove a fish from water to have it swim, submission is inherent in someone from the moment of birth, it can be of course strengthened or weaken in childhood, but the basics remain.
A strong submissive is not an oxymoron, a independent submissive is, the difference is that a submissive can be capable strong but they are not complete not independent from their basic driving instincts, now there are many ways to fulfill submissive needs, many will volunteer themselves to causes, champion issues, submission is about being part of more, as is Dominance it is just the path to that is different for each. And seeing how submission real submission creates stronger happier and more capable submissive and Dominates alike I am left to conclude that real care is essential to the development of both into a companionship of balanced long lasting D/s
I have come to believe the hard line view of how Dominates need to be and act is due to a misunderstanding of two similar principles that I call care of the heart and care for the soul. Care of the heart can be seen as the overwhelming feeling of love that can strip away reason and blind the eyes to what is before. In an odd way while this type of feeling is celebrated in written word and film, but in a real way care of the heart is very self center, it is based on how one feels, that wonderful exuberant feeling and its intoxication, to maintain that feeling one need to maintain the connection to the person that allow such feeling to be. And here is the crux of the problem when you need to maintain the relationship to maintain the feeling you are unable to act in a way that could jeopardize the relationship, it disallows independent action and instead instill dependence or codependence. Of course many Dominate use this care of heart that submissive give to them to trap them, to rob them of self will and instill an utter dependence.
I know some submissive will say ahh but that is submission, only submission is a willful act, not a forced one. A Master does not need to take away a submissives self will, because that self will is want bond a submissive to a Dominate, suborning it only reduces the opportunity for a lasting companionship.
This care of heart will make a Dominate unable or unwilling to act as they should and must to supply the structure the guidance needed, and I think it is why many submissives view kindness as un-Dominate behavior.
However there is another type of care that is not restrictive, it is the care of the soul is not personal based, it comes from a deep abiding need to guide and protect. With care of the soul, a Dominate is more concerned with their submisisves care than the Dominates need; it in effect mitigates the need of the Dominate to be concerned for their emotional wants, and replace it with the safety care and continuum of the submissives sate. That ability to give to the submissive a safe whole environment allows the real submissive to express themselves and bond completely to a Dominate.
Care of the heart allow a Domainte to both selfless and selfish without losing the ability to risk the relationship, doing the right thing for submissive is so pervasive it compels the Dominate to act, and in so doing creates a deep abiding care of the submissive, a bond that can be far more potent than any other type of human expression of care. It is somewhat of a contradiction in normal terms, but that is precisely the point this is not a normal nilla relationship but a complex companionship of commitment to a greater whole then the need of the part.
Both submissive and Dominate require that feeling of wholeness and to maintain it will go to great lengths to protect each other, this is how they strengthen themselves and each, both ready to give all they are to the need of the Oone, not the need of the self. While D/s from an outside view many seem one sided or even conflicting, the truth is different, most nillas could not ever conceive of giving themselves over so completely that the Oone is more important than the individual.


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