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9/17/14 Hello again and thank you for reading this and providing comments The more I write here the less I seem to understand what I really want. I keep opening up new topics and never seem to close he older ones. When amber first came into being she thought that she was submissive and thought nothing other than that would satisfy her. Then discussions with a friend lead amber to becoming a switch but with tendencies toward submissiveness. Amber was happy there for a while. As time moved on amber became more and more dom. At first it seemed that she was about even dom and sub. Recently amber seems to be moving more into the dom area. Yes amber still likes to be sub on occasion and some of those times very submissive and even trying new areas for her. What if anything does this mean? Is amber evolving, or was this amber all along and she did not know what she was. It was difficult for me to start this blog because I have always been a private person. The idea of telling people my thoughts and dreams was not something I had thought of doing before much less relished. But, as I did it, I found that I seem to be getting some benefit from doing it. I put down things that I would never have written down before this blog, even for my own use. Just putting them down seems to help me concentrate on them and think about what needs to be done. Of course that does not mean that always make a decision. Also by making them public I do get some comments. These comment have also helped me to direct my thoughts and move on. It is still not easy for me to open up like this but I do it more and more - here and with others in talking in the various rooms. On the other hand I also find that sometimes some small thing will cause me to over react and shutdown either a discussion or a play activity I was in at the time. I guess I am reverting to some old behavior which it is clear that I need to control. amber |
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amber You are clearly benefitting from blogging! It does help us clarify our thoughts  Don't worry about changing your views - many of us do in our journey A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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9/17/2014 4:19 pm |
jenny Thank you for your comment. A guess for me a part of the journey I am on is the constant doubt that I am moving in the right direction. Especially since I seem to change directions so often. amber
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