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quietroar 59F
9647 posts
10/10/2015 1:13 pm

As a submissive, I would get verbally reprimanded for "topping from the bottom." The problem was, and I realize this now, I wasn't topping from the bottom. The Dom was angry that I wasn't agreeing with him on certain issues or if I expressed dissatisfaction about something, I was topping from the bottom when in reality, I was merely trying to express my opinion about something important to me. Much of these issues revolved around communication ironically, and yet, if I expressed an opinion or approach, it was handled with punishment or hostility.

In other words, his way or the highway.

It's not topping from the bottom if I am your submissive and asking for recognition that my needs matter outside the bedroom. It's not topping from the bottom which is a deliberate, assertive manipulation of a situation but rather just because I am asking for you to approach something differently or asking that you not do something because it is emotionally or psychologically poignant, it is difficult to express distress and worse if the Dom is not open to what is perceived as "criticism" or outside input.

Especially in a 24/7 type relationship, it is agonizing if everything is the Dom's way and nothing that I contribute matters other than an orgasm that makes you feel like a Sexual Master.


tinkerfun 46F
11150 posts
10/12/2015 12:41 pm

Now that made interesting reading and I know they are plenty of people who are after the type of relationship described by you. However, I would certainly not want to or accept such an arrangement. Firstly, I would never want to be punished out of real anger. I don't need/ want discipline like that. Neither do I want 24/7 arrangement with or without D/s. I am not bratty but I might be cheeky at times which my Dominant welcomes as it brings the animal out of him. If I never tease him he won't take me the way he does. Equally, would he just focus on himself and me serving him (which I do) we would totally neglect my dominant side and he plays/ nurtures my Switchiness well so he allows me to step out of my submission (but not with him as it wouldn't work that way).

I am always respectful towards my Dominant and don't try to manipulate him but I certainly have my own voice as well.



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