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Since the last few years of alt marketing is focused on selling this off as an easy sex site, it is no wonder that many who claim the submissive role are just here for the sex and to a degree some will trade off the bdsm aspects for sex. There are older folks here, who claim to be dominant or submissive, but truly do not understand what power exchange is. Many are here just for easy access to sex. Having a submissive compliment the dominant in terms of a relationship, not just sex or bdsm play, is far more satisfying. It does not require sex on a mandatory basis. Although,most will employ such activity due to the intense connection. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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I am a true sub, the kinky sex is the icing on the cake. Yes, I want to enjoy the relationship but it is built on so much more than sex. As you said, that feeling of making Her proud is most important. Our connection must be true and I am one that loves the protocols.
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Alt com is like similar sites, most 'members' are here just to watch nudity and porn for free. So far I found only few alt com members for a physical meeting, all except one physical meeting resulted in some rendez-vous with some light bdsm play but mainly just ordinary male sex. As submissive I hoped to meet more men really into sm play. Being different from the majority of people as homosexual my pleasure is in being used by others...
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I cannot imagine a fulfilling relationship for me based on anything other than equality out of the bedroom. In the bedroom (or "in the moment" wherever that is) it's different, the power/control dynamic is part of the fun. So, in those terms, yes I am "just here for the kinky sex". If that doesn't make me a "true" something - sub, dom, switch, human being - then I am thick skinned, I can live with that  . I don't want to have to pledge allegiance to the lifestyle to be an Alt member! I think maybe the point you are missing by only quoting the two extremes - lifestyle on the one hand or easy sex on the other - is that there are plenty of us who are looking for a vanilla relationship which also involves bdsm - that seems to me to be not only completely legitimate but also to describe a fair proportion of people here. Contact me privately via the PM at the head of my blog page
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BTW, a great post. None of the above on terms of being considered a real submissive or just here for the kinky sex. Here’s why: Yup, I admit it. I first noticed Alt around 2006 because of the kinky naked photos. Then I discovered the blogs. Some of them were beautifully written anecdotal journals of interesting people's lives. After a while I created my own blog. What I discovered over the years (and I still believe) is that "kinkiness" is on a kind of continuum, with lifestyle individuals living their roles 24/7 with all the established protocols and behaviors at one end and towards the other end are the individuals who enjoy sex in all its variations and like reading about like-minded individuals and writing about various aspects of their lives. (At the furthest furthest end are the people--mostly men--who are considered trolls, are clueless and victimize others online in various ways, but we’re not going to get into that.) Somewhere along that continuum you could place me. I have been influenced (and enriched) by having contact (and have met) at least two dozen bloggers over the years. My sex life now is more fun than it was 30 years ago with my wife, Maggie. I would have to say, our playtimes do contain elements of kinkiness but is not defined by that. (It’s defined by enjoying each other and the pleasure we can give each other.) I was never one to play any permanent role in any of the eras I have passed through. (I hung around with friends who wore old fashioned zoot suits and follow them around taking photos of them in the 1960s. I spent the 70s rock climbing and exploring wildernesses during the disco era, I ran and participated in triathlons years before it became mainstream. Now I just write science fiction, run with my dog, Ramona and hang out and travel to cool places with Maggie. I guess I'm a little like Forest Gump. And I do think life is like a box of chocolates. I can hardly wait to see what I'm gonna get next. Oh, and I enjoy reading your eclectic posts and the various photos of yourself that you keep rotating. Keep it up!
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It's easier to deal with such issues on a scale, rather than using black and white labels. But I suspect you'll find that submission and kink are really two different scales, not opposite ends of the same scale. And then, to really screw things up, throw in the "L" Scale!
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