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My Blog

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Arrival
Posted:Nov 11, 2016 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2024 1:43 am
1766 Views

I just got through watching the new movie, “Arrival”. The surface premise of the movie is about Aliens arriving on Earth in large oblong ships that are spaced out all over the world in various places. There are twelve ships and the one in this movie is located in Montana, far away from population centers. Now I’m not going to try and spoil the movie for you but I am going to talk about my perceptions.

What I perceived of the story is that it isn’t about aliens and humans per se, it is about humanity and its own perceptions of self. One line in the movie talks about “language shapes your perceptions and your view of the world”… and this makes complete and logical sense when viewed not in the context with the space aliens but within us as “the aliens” amongst each other. Language is a weapon and like all weapons or “tools” it’s the intent in which it’s used.

I once talked with a close friend about space/time being non-linear…all things happen at once and in the same place… because we cannot see past our language and perceptions. How many times have we all looked at our pasts and asked ourselves, “If I could do this over, would I change anything?” Interesting question isn’t it? It’s interesting because if you could change your past you wouldn’t be who you are now…the changes would make it impossible to be in a place to want to change things. Thus it becomes a circular argument… a time loop similar to the time paradox examined in many Sci Fi books.

So what does this movie have to do with all of this? We are the sum of our experiences, who we were yesterday is not who we are now… and that we have the ability to see our past as part of the circle of life and predict our path in the future… that is taking account of who were are in the future is still who we were in the past…

In other, simpler words… the book of our lives have many pages…some are written already…some are yet to be written… my suggestion…learn to write well.
1 comment
Zen and BDSM An unusual approach to Life and Love
Posted:Jul 8, 2014 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 3:24 pm
10678 Views
I sat alone thinking yesterday. I do this quite often since I now have time to do so. I had been doing some exploration of Zen sayings on the internet and it brought me to a question in my mind. I wondered if Zen could co-exist within the BDSM-D/s lifestyle. It was a curious thought and examination because the supposed essence of BDSM would appear to be the antithesis of the Zen mind.

In BDSM-D/s there is an exchange of power and control. Zen is the opposite however because it exchanges nothing, powers nothing and controls nothing. BDSM-D/s is dedicated to give and take, Zen is dedicated to “being”. A person might not understand the difference in that BDSM is “action” and Zen appears to be “inaction”. So, the question is, “How can they co-exist”? I began thinking of the elements of BDSM-D/s and comparing them to the elements of Zen. What I found was that they both have many similarities and both can co-exist.

Both Zen and BDSM-D/s see life as “circles”. What do we mean by that? It is simple; there is no other form that describes the give and take of the BDSM-D/s relationship and the universe of Yin and Yang adequately. The BDSM lifestyle is often described as two sides of a single coin (i.e. Yin and Yang) wherein neither Dominant or submissive can exist without the other in a specific state. Neither can be what they believe they are without the other so it is simply a symbiotic relationship. The Zen lifestyle, if followed as defined, is about existing within the circle of life, both taking and giving without discrimination. In other words, being Zen is being the “coin” in all ways yet not striving to be the “coin”.

You might ask, “How can this Zen mind be applied to BDSM-D/s?” The question is a valid one within the context of normal understanding yet if one looks deeper we can see that the question is not valid because it carries no real reference.

What this all comes down to is a simple knowing of self. We preach this “knowing of self” in BDSM-D/s just as it’s taught in Zen. In BDSM we say, “You cannot control another if you cannot control yourself”. In Zen it would be something akin to, “To know yourself is to know others; to understand yourself allows you to be able to understand others”. Knowledge is power when dealing with others and the world, the trick is to not use that power and still let it shine through so that those that would compliment you may find you.

What does it mean “those that would compliment you”? Does it mean praise or acclaim? No, it means compatibility at the spiritual level. Each of us has an image of themselves. Each of us seeks someone that allows us to feel complete. Here is the difference between the common thought in BDSM and that of Zen; No one can complete you except yourself and those who try to find completeness outside themselves seek in vain. If you have a void within yourself how can anyone else fill it, for only you know what that void is. How can you offer something of value (yourself) to another if that value is not yet known?

Here is where Zen and BDSM converge. Both describe a state of completeness that is internal rather than external to the world around them. In both one must know themselves, see themselves and understand themselves before they can attain a state of peace. In BDSM-D/s the peace is the combined interaction between the Dominant and the submissive so that both give and receive, without struggle, what is necessary to complete their circle. In Zen, peace is attained when the interactions of the circle are understood, known and accepted without the constant striving between individuals. An appropriate example is this; “Between humans conflict over power, the give and take is always a struggle. The simple definition of D/s is struggle”. The Dominant receives only such power as is allowed to them by the submissive, thus creating the struggle over that power. The Dominant wants more control or power, the submissive desires to keep control and power. You can see the obvious incompatibility of this situation even while it is the Ideal within its paradigm. It is a struggle between the two and there is no peace in struggle. There is only peace in acceptance and understanding.

Many Dominants will pound their chest declaring their dominance in the vain hope that this will establish their dominance in the mind of others. The submissive is oftentimes drawn to the outward display, yet shies away from it later because, if they understand the nature of themselves, they know that the display itself is “trying” to be Dominant rather than “being” Dominant. Submissives do the same thing, they profess their submission to the world, making a show of it and yet this cries out as the same vain display in hopes of attracting a Dominant or making the world and people around them see them as “submissive”.

See how the state of “being” as compared to the state of “trying” is the definitive demarcation? A quote from a popular movie states, “Do, or Do Not, There is no Try”. In relation to the Zen approach to BDSM-D/s it becomes, “Be, or Be Not, There is no Try”.

Now it has been said, “the Zen approach to BDSM-D/s”. Is it a viable path? Can one be a Zen Master or a Zen submissive? I believe so if we divest ourselves of certain concepts and misconceptions. Firstly we need to understand ourselves and our needs if we are to move within the BDSM lifestyle. Much of BDSM is hedonistic and very sexual. Some will deny that statement but yet it is very true. At the same time the D/s relationship is much more than merely sex. This is where the Zen part comes in, the spiritual interaction between the Dominant and the submissive.

In the spiritual Zen D/s relationship the Dom and sub understands themselves and their nature. This understanding gives them an internal power or “presence”. One does not need to wear the trappings of the “Dominant” or the “submissive” one can sit in a corner and the presence flows around them. Be they Dominant or submissive, their behavior and self assurance states it clearly and that behavior can only be displayed if they truly understand their nature. A self assured Dominant who understands themselves and is in control of themselves is readily apparent. The same is true of the submissive. As with Dominance being a state of mind so is submission. The submissive knows themselves well, has found a center within themselves and knows they are of value. At the same time they also know that value is an abstract and relates only to how they see themselves. Only when they understand they have value can they offer that value. When neither Dom nor sub outwardly “tries” to be what they see themselves as they will find that complimentary state of co-existence. Again it comes down to the Zen practice of “being” rather than struggling to be.

The biggest problem with attaining a Zen D/s relationship in the BDSM world is that most of the people within BDSM have traumatic and pain driven issues. Abandonment, loss of control, fear, abuse and a myriad of other events string along behind people and it colors their views and may cloud their understanding of Self. Usually they are tied far too deeply into their issues to be able to see, accept and understand themselves thus making them unable to see and understand others.

We must first understand and accept ourselves. We must first look deep inside and find our center so that we can look around us with the ability to “see” rather than react to what is seen. When we can do this, we become who we really are, not who we think we are. Once we know and then we understand, we then become, thus the state of”being“is achieved. When you know your place and who you are within yourself then there is no conflict when you meet someone that allows you to complete the circle.

“By thoughtfulness, by restraint and self control, the wise man may make for himself an island which no flood can overwhelm”. Only by this sage advice can we make life that is true to both Zen and BDSM-D/s. Through the serene and thoughtful mind can we meet and make something of our interactions that exceeds the simple physical pleasure and approach the Divine state of Self with another person. Separation of Self from the world is not possible, so we must center, combine and make a world unto ourselves where the two spirits combine, the Yin and Yang, the Dom and sub into the totality that we were meant to be.
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