Why Choose this Lifestyle
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Posted:Jul 1, 2021 4:19 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2021 4:26 pm 1786 Views
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By Aramock Nanuck
February 1998
There are vast numbers of articles that hold in high esteem some members (both supplicants and dominants) in a social context. Why and what fascination occurs is based on answers to many essential considerations.
What is Vanilla.
I think that we must first explain the term vanilla. Vanilla is not the absence of flavour but a flavour in and of itself. Religious, racial, and cultural conventions bind a vanilla person to unaltered traditions of a society, Lifestyle people do not refer to non-members as "normal" because this indicates that members of the lifestyle are abnormal. Instead of looking at it as flavours, we take on the same aspects of several other lifestyle choices.
Strong Sub-Cultures
LBGT community, in that you have "heterosexual" and "rainbow" communities. Since up until recently and still in many cases, the LBGT community was considered fetishist, they are one aspect of our lifestyle, which has degrees of involvement.
Cross-cultural boundaries have usually been a trial in large homogenous (the single strain of likeness) because mixed pairing is still harshly criticized in many groups. These variations introduce a new flavour to groups that traditionally do no pair outside their race, religion or social context. These trends combine with BDSM to form "racial supremacy" play, role-playing to challenge acceptable religious stereotypes, etc.
Again, all flavours of existence. whereas the rest of us live an "ALTERNATIVE" lifestyle. Today, the casual members of the lifestyle, in general, ignore many of cultural and ethnic differences. Only Goreans and Pharaonic ritualists immerse themselves in a lifestyle version that significantly differentiates their model of activities.
Starting the Journey
Individuals usually begin this journey on whichever side of the coin (dominant or supplicant) as a matter of curiosity. Once started, efforts yield to define specific interests and desires. Then they begin to explore. Further, it is very much like doing a sociology or anthropology course and then the depth you cause to explore in more honest and intimate ways. Over time many, but it is essential to realize that NOT ALL make the plunge into the lifestyle. To some individuals, society, family, religion, or culture constraints do not allow them the transition. Typically, these people focus on other things like (commercial or political) success that their sense of balance becomes unimportant. It is often the chase of for power or merely to allow for continued stability in an otherwise challenging world. But again, it is not our place to judge them, only to acknowledge that they exist.
Cautious Involvement
Those who venture into the lifestyle for whatever reason tend to progress very rapidly from a newbie to someone with some experience. Their desire to explore extends from one aspect to more and more, eventually becoming eclectic. Many times, progression tears headlong until they reach a limit, they will not cross. Other times it is like dipping your toes in a cold lake; the desire to swim battles with the cold, and it takes tortuously long to decide, get out or go to the deep end of the pool. Frequently as others explore alternative activities, they compel themselves to compromise to have partners to share experiences. However, they remain genuinely watchful for the opportunities whenever they arise to enjoy those activities most desired truly. Finally, there are other activities that they avoid entirely. The individual differences expand as their appetites grow and change, so does their involvement with the lifestyle.
Impact of Dominants
Many dominants have an overly rational nature that can be disturbing to submissives and "vanilla" folks. They invest heavily on an intellectual and emotional (if not romantic) basis in a real effort to understand the submissive with whom they are interacting. The lack of focus in a submissive's self-evaluation demonstrates when they have too many other interests and distractions in their life to be serious about this lifestyle. The dominant helps the submissive to find the focus on the main reason for their interest. Many dominants spend vast amounts of time thinking about that and even at times chronicling observations. The jumble of messages and ideas from a submissive need evaluation, interpretation and then assess the known or observed subconscious motivations, which then emerges. If individuals want to be successful as dominants, they will fundamentally help the submissive to be honest with themselves.
Often, dominants take rambling and bluntness as a defence mechanism intended to unbalance people, so they are less apt to focus. A lack of focus usually becomes an unfortunate habit with very self-conscious or confused individuals. Dealing with unsure individuals requires patience to allow the undisciplined to work through their discomfort and find their center. Defensive anger, harsh language, and push back are similar defence mechanisms used by people unsure of their place. This lack of centring reoccurs in those who are uncomfortable in their role. These warning signs denote that a person is unclear as to why they participate in the activities.
The Struggle to Submit
Several individuals struggle with the thought of submitting, reluctant to acknowledge the part of themselves that needs to surrender. This struggle becomes down frightening for anyone with a healthy parochial or conservative upbringing when extending to a sexual context. They become of the specifics of such a thing; if it is even possible to trust sufficiently in the end to accept it. Some other stray detail individuals cannot recognize whether directly stemming from:
Just having someone else make the decisions,
A lack of trust,
A failure to understand,
A people-pleaser attitude or
This cycle continues until the comfort level reaches or exceeds the needed level. These individuals remain on the fence over making those decisions that are necessary to enable their self-discovery. Today, social commentary and published "correct thinking" tends to be "politically correct," egalitarian and democratic; not found in this lifestyle and certainly not which most dominants would espouse. Typically, you will find it common to hear them say, "If I want you to have an opinion, I'll give it to you."
Those who play at rather than live this lifestyle apply this harsh approach. It is valid to a certain point to make this lifestyle work; there must be an autocratic point to it to make the control work. However, when someone is first entering the lifestyle, this is not the case.
The Change Mechanism
Supplicants become submissive solely when having their fears arrested, or the choices they have left are so bad that submission is the best of a bad situation. The transition then is from submissive to the consensual thrall, but we will address this later. The other potential is the transition from supplicant to thrall. While this one is infrequent, indeed, it does occur. The 20 odd dominants I have interacted with over the past 40 years have seen this a mere handful of times. The submissives who felt they had no choice in each case drove this effect. Every time some had an opportunity, they were either a fraud attempting to defraud someone or make a less definitive transition to a submissive.
Mixing Kink (Sex) with Submission
Sex and submission can blend but is a huge step, particularly for a newbie. The lifestyle is such a broad arena that typical people begin either in a focused area (i.e., Bondage, Discipline, Protocol, or Kinky sex) and allow those experiences to mature until making steps to other activities. Taking the submission outside the specific situation to a broader context requires absolute trust and more emotional bonding between the participants. This extension significantly adds to the confusion and doubts held by many. The submissive needs to find someone to trust to make possible the commitment while ensuring they will be safe and protected.
Trust is the Foundation.
The anxiety felt is entirely in line with the rationalizations and struggling one makes entering the lifestyle. The steps into actual submission and the lifestyle require total trust, knowing that imagination presents the danger and fears felt. Combining with a series of safe and sane experiences helps with the final thrust into the deep end of the pool and lifestyle. No one's acts of discovery await a schedule but are one of its makings. Those who delay continuing to discover awake 30 years from now saying, "Damn, I never tried that," and somehow feel the loss of an incomplete life. Directly this discovery phase may well lead into, through and back out of the lifestyle in short order or may find an individual settling comfortably somewhere along the way. Even if people do not remain in life, they have discovered what about it held meaning and avoided the later regrets.
A Safe Entry Point
So, if you are discovering, then do go to munches. These sorts of events give you exposure to the lifestyle by the weird and wonderful, sometimes sane, sometimes not and those who practice it somewhere in between. The one thing is a munch is safe for an independent as it is almost always in a public (so to speak) setting.
Notoriety
People of note rise in a community because their talent tends to snag communications opportunities that can cross boundaries and form a resonance with other social groups. They become non-threatening examples of ALTERNATIVE styles that the mainstream society can accept or even acknowledge. Effectively, these people change the underlying views of others in the most meaningful and tangible ways.
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Justifying Poly
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Posted:Aug 22, 2014 8:39 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2024 5:18 pm 22109 Views
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I was recently asked by a person how do I justify a poly relationship and isn't it impossible to make work.
I think that poly requires no justification, it is an alternative to a lifestyle. Making work can be difficult but I decided the best way to explain it was to draw a parallel. Some people own a pet some own multiple pets (i.e.: 3 Dogs, cats, or a mixed collection, etc). The sole pet owner is devoted to his/her pet and vis-a-versa or usually. The have a very strong bond which is rich and full but usually do not think they can handle more than one pet.
They conclude multiple pets cost more money , take more energy to train and demand more attention. This is true in part. But multiple pets actually cost little more incrementally in the total scheme of things. One of the things you find is that there is less waste with multiple pets and they tend compliment each other in diet and activities.
Walking three dogs is not 3 times as difficult as one, it merely requires more constant control. One may tug a little more, than the other, but you are not walking three serially, you are walking them as set. One of the things that happens in these cases is they form a pack, usually a unified group where their energy levels balance out. This means other than the control aspects it is no more difficult.
Now about activities, assume three dogs, each one knows or learns tricks (particularly if they come to as adults). The dogs learn habits from each other, they learn to share and they learn to work together as a team if they are properly managed, controlled and disciplined. Even if you add a puppy, the youngest one bonds with at least one of the older dogs and learns from the rest.
Each one has its own personality, each one has unique habits to show attentions, and most have different skills, abilities or interests. Effectively keeping you challenged and engaged through the group. There never is a loss energy with the group because each one energies each other and you through their interactions.
Now jealousy does occasionally rear its ugly head. The secret is to stamp on it immediately, discipline the instigator and separate them. Time outs, and emotional denial is far better. If you are a strong owner then you can Cesare your way through a conflict and resolve it. After all you are the Dominant, the Master the one in control. You displeasure is the one thing none of them wish to face... it is your ultimate power in these situations.
The other issue with poly is the same as introducing a new to the pack (your home group). You do not discuss this with them after all it is not their decision; but you see how they interact with each other is a social setting before hand. You then integrate them on a trial basis. It is hard at times to decide the integration does not work, but it is always the existing members whom take presidence. Actually you will find a true poly lover finds it hard not to continue with a new addition even if there are hurtles to overcome. For the owner it is tantamount to acknowledging their failure as a Master.
Some of the secrets to success is to ensure and maintain a hierarchy, there will always be an alpha, beta, and so on of pets. There are things you can do to change the dynamic but do so with care and as the pets themselves readjust their position work with it not against it.
Now as with all poly groups, you need to make sure your pets are socially engaged not only internally but also externally. They have to be able to taken and walked or exercised by other owners. That owner will never replace you but they will exert control as an extension of your own. Socializing with other pets is also necessary. It is like taking your to the parks and having them play with other pets. You love to watch the energy, joy and pleasure they get from it. Sometimes you just sit and watch sometimes you join in but always mindful that your pet is preferred in your eyes.
Anywhere above I said or pet you could have replaced it with slave. Poly works if the Dom is a true dom and makes the overt effort never to surrender that dominance.
Some of us even have a menagerie (dogs, fish, birds and cats in any sort of mix). Why? Well variety. Each gives something different, has different needs but in no way lessens the others in the household. This is very much like mix subs, masos, service, sexual, bondage, domestic all have aspects which make them fine sample but the mix and variety works well. It also takes the burden off of one pet to be all things to its master. The same is true for subs. Also you will find there is less jealousy if the mix is sufficiently divorced that each realizes the other is no threat to their "special" relationship with their owner. You can truly enjoy the beauty of watch tropical fish, listening to bird sing, dogs devoted to you, or cats every once in a while show their claws and need taming. What better way to experience it all and yet never burden one with expectations of the other.
So I am unapologetic about being poly. It works, and can work, it takes energy (a lot of it). But it forces you to realize your full potential as a dom, and more important keeps you energized through the variety it offer.
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HOW TO INITIATE A SLAVE
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 11:59 pm
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2013 12:00 am 105273 Views
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I have organized my thoughts on this lifestyle and what it truly means. Extreme or harsh few could handle it but let's see in your case. The life of any person in one way or another has essential some level of bondage, structure and discipline associated to it. In the vanilla world it is the rules which bind us to our families, job and other individuals.
Living with a sadist is not a fantasy but takes this to a much harsher and demeaning reality. A dominant will exact absolute control means both mental and physical. The life many submissive's crave is a mental as well as practical implementation of the control in their lives. The physical is merely the application of the mental aspects. Now we may be forced to be bound by social sensibilities as today's society interferes even with this lifestyle, so in many cases bondage sees limits placed on the treatment of slaves only to the point at which they can accept the uses. Modern sexual slavery is also coupled to a severe denial and violence, perpetrated by the Master/Mistress and their friends, guests and sometimes even their . So life as a true slave is a harsh reality to which few would want to be subjected.
Ultimately this lifestyle is about control and dehumanization of a “slave” by a “dominant”. Entering of one's own volition is actually more humiliating than being dragged in chains/forced because the person can not then deceive themselves of the having no choice. They had a choice and made it to surrender.
The difference is that a level of free will is imposed on the next step, removing that free will is essential to a fantasy situation. A person enters enslave to begin their humiliation; service is merely how that humiliation is exacted. Some are allowed to undress in a dignified arena, other shackled have their street clothes forcibly removed or cut from their bodies. Serious dominant take action towards the later, as it begins the process of shredding not only the clothes but the dignity from their subjects. This is inevitable done in a public setting; to literally strip from the person of aspects of their former life. Naked and exposed they are inspected like farm animals or meat to a butcher, showered or hosed; prepared for use.
Resisting this and the subject is typically beaten in to submission. Lowly and dehumanized, the slave becomes oriented over the next few days to a regimen of strict rules, inspection and very specific windows of activity.
In many cases the a new slave is isolated from everyone else in solitary conditions. All are given a restricted and proscribed diet that they have no chance for alternates. Initially many newbies are subjected to harsh conditions and handling, with a total lack of human warmth. This breaks them of their emotional "I" and replaces it with "this object", no longer human they fit their role as property very very well. Used by whom ever wants them with out recourse, how ever the user wishes, when ever is convenient for the user. the subject becomes a toy, and object a play thing.
All sadistic (and many not so sadistic) dominants include routine corporal punishments for the mildest of infractions. This adds to the dehumanization and lessening of the individual and reinforces obedience as an absolute requirement of a slave. Slaves are bereft of morals, dignity and humanity so it is mandatory that slaves are treated the same as witches were in the inquisition, subject to the most serious forms of degradation. Removal from the slave’s cage is merely the beginning of their torment, as with the inquisition, the intent is to discover the sins and validate them through torment and torture.
No imaginary cell for the slave, but a cage for a just big enough for the subject to move around, and sleep curled up. They have a bucket for their waste, and steel bowl for their food or water, both on the floor. When taken from the cage, the slave is placed in shackles and chains. At times simply suspended from the ceiling or chained to the wall or floor.
Initially slaves have no access to the outside world, except when taken to various events to demonstrate the abusive techniques a sadist uses. A rare treat will be when the person is chained in their master’s (mistress's) or a guest’s bed but at the cost of a further denial of personal dignity.
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Experience Based Collaring
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 11:58 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2024 5:18 pm 105248 Views
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Novice A novice is new and uncertain wish to explore and have the guidance of a dominant in the form of a mentor, sage or guide into the lifestyle. They seek to find themselves and their nature, over the past 30+ years in the lifestyle I have found that over a 1/3 of the submissives discover for themselves that they are not able or willing to make the transition into true “slavery”. In many cases the submissive has an active “vanilla” life they are not ready to surrender and the dominant in realizing and accepting this offers terms which allows for the commitment to occur. They may well be married, or have family, college or work commitments which simply make it impractical to be more permanent. Usually they are unsure of themselves. The submissive’s intent is to find a safe and sane way to explore this and realize their own potential. In submitting to a collar they surrender a part of themselves to their dominant for the purpose of this discovery. A simple ceremony based on the commitment they are ready to make essential formalizes that bond and commitment to learn; while from the dominant is a commitment to help the novice to discover their true nature. This is the closest I personally get to casual collaring.
ArdentsAdherents those people who are aware of the lifestyle understand their roles and responsibilities. In many cases like a novice there are limits or restrictions that prevent them from the 24x7 interaction. Again work or family conditions prevail. The adherent though expects that all interactions pertaining to the lifestyle are done within the confines of their commitment to each other and governed by its association. Unlike a marriage they are not forsaking all others but, only engage others in the activities under clear definition of their relationship. A good example of this is a married partner decides to enter a relationship with the other; knowing full well that the dominant party has final say over all matter regarding aspects of their relationship. I have had married slaves, whom I have permitted to continue to have sexual relations with their partner, but certain acts are prohibited as being those exclusively mine. Or they may have sex, but only if they first text and ask permission.
Slave A lot can be said here, but a true slave is one who lives and is a constant part of the dominant’s household. The commitment to care and nurture the slave is the responsibility of the dominant and all aspects of their life is controlled by the dominant.
Picking a collar that is appropriate is almost as important as the event. This is the solely the duty of the dominant, and the submissive should have NO say in this, as it is the physical representation of their surrendering decision making to their dominant. It must be representative of the relationship and something which a submissive will wear with pride. In many cases different collars are provided for different purposes. There are “play” or “training” collars that are very suitable for activities within the “dungeon” or in casual settings. A leather or pet collar are good for these purposes and provide a means to express the roles. However, in public setting these may not always be appropriate; particularly if there is a social stigma against such public displays. In these cases a more symbolic collar is more appropriate, such as a velveteen choker with an icon or fetish symbol denoting the submissive as such, or even a jewellery type with a locked clasp. I typical order these specifically for the submissive from one of the fetish jewellery sites and the first time the submissive sees it is at the collaring ceremony.
Protocol
In all cases with my submissives they must wear their collars at all times in my presence, unless I remove them; and in most cases wear them in public. The casual observer or vanilla passer-by will not know the significance but all those in the lifestyle full are aware of the symbols and the meanings associated with such items. It may seem counter intuitive but it is even more important with novices. A novice chooses a dominant for their “protection” first and foremost. The collar warns others not to interfere with the submissive as to do so is one of the most significant breaches of protocol in our lifestyle. A collar allows a novice to attend munches, or public events without the constant fending off of unwanted attention.
Sentiment & Seriousness
Many people treat this as informal, I am of a different mind the ceremony should be formal, and have a significant ritual or pomp to it to lend meaning to the ceremony. Many of my fellows take a different approach but that is their decision. My reasons are simple; it should be an event to be remembered and cherished by the submissive; and have a emotional or near spiritual value to it. I typically invite other friends and associates in the fetish community to participate. It is important to plan a fetish event and social around it; as this after all borrows from the concepts of a vanilla wedding.
The ceremony can be led by a third party, typically another dominant from the fetish community. The ritual begins with the call of those present to attend and bear witness to the event. The leader then asks if the submissive freely and of their own volition without duress enters into this relationship. The leader then asks if the dominant accepts the gift of submission from the supplicant. At this point the major points of the commitment are read aloud, and the parties are asked again if they accept the terms before the witnesses present. Physically I add significant actions here as a part of the ceremony.
The Ritual
Many times the submissive is adored in a simple cloth or sheer outfit; so while not total nude, they hide nothing from their dominant or the audience. By agreement before hand they can disrobe or remain clothed. The submissive is asked to kneel before the audience and their dominant. They then are asked to supplicate themselves before their dominant. This usually takes the form of assuming the position of the slaver’s kiss. They then are instructed to kiss the feet of their dominant. The leader then hands the dominant a ritualistic whip, the dominant then strikes be buttocks of the submissive three times. “Your punishment serves notice of your service, and represents the commitment I make to your development” is stated by the dominant. The dominant then takes the submissive by the shoulders and assists them to the nadu. The submissive then states “All I am is yours, all I desire is to serve, and seek is your protection.” The dominant takes then the collar and reveals it high above his head to the audience stating “This collar denotes my commitment to you, and signifies my ownership and acceptance of your gift of service.” The dominant the places it on the neck of submissive and states “My property declared for all to realize.” As I live a poly lifestyle, it is at this point I introduce the submissive to their sibling slaves, and shared dominant (if relevant).
Effect
The emotional effect is powerful, if somewhat campy but it usually helps in cementing the bond with a submissive and their dominant. I usually have a feast afterwards, and then begin an evening of fetish events with my submissive. This party atmosphere is akin to the reception of a wedding. You will all find your own ways of doing this but ritual is important if you are looking to add meaning to the event.
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Experience Based Collaring
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 11:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2013 11:58 pm 98424 Views
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Novice A novice is new and uncertain wish to explore and have the guidance of a dominant in the form of a mentor, sage or guide into the lifestyle. They seek to find themselves and their nature, over the past 30+ years in the lifestyle I have found that over a 1/3 of the submissives discover for themselves that they are not able or willing to make the transition into true “slavery”. In many cases the submissive has an active “vanilla” life they are not ready to surrender and the dominant in realizing and accepting this offers terms which allows for the commitment to occur. They may well be married, or have family, college or work commitments which simply make it impractical to be more permanent. Usually they are unsure of themselves. The submissive’s intent is to find a safe and sane way to explore this and realize their own potential. In submitting to a collar they surrender a part of themselves to their dominant for the purpose of this discovery. A simple ceremony based on the commitment they are ready to make essential formalizes that bond and commitment to learn; while from the dominant is a commitment to help the novice to discover their true nature. This is the closest I personally get to casual collaring.
ArdentsAdherents those people who are aware of the lifestyle understand their roles and responsibilities. In many cases like a novice there are limits or restrictions that prevent them from the 24x7 interaction. Again work or family conditions prevail. The adherent though expects that all interactions pertaining to the lifestyle are done within the confines of their commitment to each other and governed by its association. Unlike a marriage they are not forsaking all others but, only engage others in the activities under clear definition of their relationship. A good example of this is a married partner decides to enter a relationship with the other; knowing full well that the dominant party has final say over all matter regarding aspects of their relationship. I have had married slaves, whom I have permitted to continue to have sexual relations with their partner, but certain acts are prohibited as being those exclusively mine. Or they may have sex, but only if they first text and ask permission.
Slave A lot can be said here, but a true slave is one who lives and is a constant part of the dominant’s household. The commitment to care and nurture the slave is the responsibility of the dominant and all aspects of their life is controlled by the dominant.
Picking a collar that is appropriate is almost as important as the event. This is the solely the duty of the dominant, and the submissive should have NO say in this, as it is the physical representation of their surrendering decision making to their dominant. It must be representative of the relationship and something which a submissive will wear with pride. In many cases different collars are provided for different purposes. There are “play” or “training” collars that are very suitable for activities within the “dungeon” or in casual settings. A leather or pet collar are good for these purposes and provide a means to express the roles. However, in public setting these may not always be appropriate; particularly if there is a social stigma against such public displays. In these cases a more symbolic collar is more appropriate, such as a velveteen choker with an icon or fetish symbol denoting the submissive as such, or even a jewellery type with a locked clasp. I typical order these specifically for the submissive from one of the fetish jewellery sites and the first time the submissive sees it is at the collaring ceremony.
Protocol
In all cases with my submissives they must wear their collars at all times in my presence, unless I remove them; and in most cases wear them in public. The casual observer or vanilla passer-by will not know the significance but all those in the lifestyle full are aware of the symbols and the meanings associated with such items. It may seem counter intuitive but it is even more important with novices. A novice chooses a dominant for their “protection” first and foremost. The collar warns others not to interfere with the submissive as to do so is one of the most significant breaches of protocol in our lifestyle. A collar allows a novice to attend munches, or public events without the constant fending off of unwanted attention.
Sentiment & Seriousness
Many people treat this as informal, I am of a different mind the ceremony should be formal, and have a significant ritual or pomp to it to lend meaning to the ceremony. Many of my fellows take a different approach but that is their decision. My reasons are simple; it should be an event to be remembered and cherished by the submissive; and have a emotional or near spiritual value to it. I typically invite other friends and associates in the fetish community to participate. It is important to plan a fetish event and social around it; as this after all borrows from the concepts of a vanilla wedding.
The ceremony can be led by a third party, typically another dominant from the fetish community. The ritual begins with the call of those present to attend and bear witness to the event. The leader then asks if the submissive freely and of their own volition without duress enters into this relationship. The leader then asks if the dominant accepts the gift of submission from the supplicant. At this point the major points of the commitment are read aloud, and the parties are asked again if they accept the terms before the witnesses present. Physically I add significant actions here as a part of the ceremony.
Ritual Effect
Many times the submissive is adored in a simple cloth or sheer outfit; so while not total nude, they hide nothing from their dominant or the audience. By agreement before hand they can disrobe or remain clothed. The submissive is asked to kneel before the audience and their dominant. They then are asked to supplicate themselves before their dominant. This usually takes the form of assuming the position of the slaver’s kiss. They then are instructed to kiss the feet of their dominant. The leader then hands the dominant a ritualistic whip, the dominant then strikes be buttocks of the submissive three times. “Your punishment serves notice of your service, and represents the commitment I make to your development” is stated by the dominant. The dominant then takes the submissive by the shoulders and assists them to the nadu. The submissive then states “All I am is yours, all I desire is to serve, and seek is your protection.” The dominant takes then the collar and reveals it high above his head to the audience stating “This collar denotes my commitment to you, and signifies my ownership and acceptance of your gift of service.” The dominant the places it on the neck of submissive and states “My property declared for all to realize.” As I live a poly lifestyle, it is at this point I introduce the submissive to their sibling slaves, and shared dominant (if relevant).
Effect
The emotional effect is powerful, if somewhat campy but it usually helps in cementing the bond with a submissive and their dominant. I usually have a feast afterwards, and then begin an evening of fetish events with my submissive. This party atmosphere is akin to the reception of a wedding. You will all find your own ways of doing this but ritual is important if you are looking to add meaning to the event.
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