"NETWORK ONLY" Jul 15, 2008 6:26 pm 6208 Views Hey Kids I'm about shift gears in my role at work. That means that I am moving to "Network Only" on more posts than I have been in the past. Which was none! So if you are one of the few, the proud, the reg'lar readers of my blog and you aren't in my network, please send me a request so that I may add you to the network so that you can continue to get the full Monty Love Mo 7 Comments, 20 Pending

Mollena's Karma Sprinklie Box Jan 28, 2008 12:31 am Mood: hopefully wagging tail, 12310 Views There are those days when I am feeling like I could use a sprinkling of happy love and glitterykarma from the people who chill out, drive by or drop in to the SupercalifragilisticexpialidoBlog thing that I got slithering & lolling on this virtual spot. So, this is my Love Corner! *fluffs pillows and binkies and positions brownies and Godiva choccies and soy chai lattes within reach* My need for plaudits, lauds and virtual affection: Let me show you it! Leave a note....go gimmie some kudos....write me a sizzling testimonial and then go add it to my profile....post a joke, a poem, do it every day....oh, whatever you like! I'm easy. But you know that. Love Mo 45 Comments

RANT: KNOW THE %$#@!*& DIFFERENCE OR ELSE!!! Dec 29, 2007 10:08 pm Mood: Deliciously Vexed, 13746 Views ]I am not sure I have dragged out this poor battle-worn equine carrion in 2007... It Is Time. [rant] HEY! YOU! YOU WITH THE PROFILE THAT IDENTIFIES YOU AS A "DOMINATE" MASTER!! For the LOVE of GOD!!! Or GODS!! OR Stephen MOTHERFUCKING HAWKING!!! *deep breath* Once Again!! Main Entry: dom·i·nant Pronunciation: \-n?nt\ Function: adjective Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin dominant-, dominans, present participle of dominari Date: circa 1532 1 a: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others (the dominant culture) b: very important, powerful, or successful (a dominant theme) (a dominant industry) 2: overlooking and commanding from a superior position (a dominant hill) 3: of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance 4: being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action (dominant eye) VS. Main Entry: dom·i·nate Pronunciation: \'dä-m?-?nat\ Function: verb Inflected Form(s): dom·i·nat·ed; dom·i·nat·ing Etymology: Latin dominatus, past participle of dominari, from dominus master; akin to Latin domus house — more at dome Date: 1611 transitive verb 1: RULE control(an empire that dominated the world) 2: to exert the supreme determining or guiding influence on (the ambition that has dominated his life) 3: to overlook from a superior elevation or command because of superior height or position (a hill that dominates the town) 4 a: to be predominant in (sugar maples dominate the forest) b: to have a commanding or preeminent place or position in (name brands dominate the market)intransitive verb1: to have or exert mastery, control, or preeminence 2: to occupy a more elevated or superior position OK. OK. See, it is not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. But if you are going to label yourself, if you are going to tell the world of ALT and, frankly, the entire INTERWEBS that you wanna be the boss of someone, it is not TOO MUCH TO ASK you to get this together. Look at the photo I have posted here. Look at it closely. Go on. Click on it. Even GOOGLE Tries to stop you from making this mistake!! Try it yourself! This Googletastic autosuggest MUST be the result of the hundreds of thousands of clueless "dominates" (would be DOMINANTS!!!) fucking this shit up!!! Seriously, this is the ocular equivalent of the aural torture of nails on a chalkboard. GO read the following sentence aloud to your mirror: "Hi, my name is _______________, and I am a DOMINATE!" Does that even SOUND RIGHT to you?!!? YES?!!? Then you are dumb as a bag of moist Limburger, and you should leave my blog right now and never, ever come back. I'll wait. . .. .... ........ ............ ........ .... .. , OK if you realized that was a horrible mistake, and are frantically looking back at your profile(s) here on ALT, on Adult FriendFinder, on Bondage, on CollarMe, and fixing your shit, there MAY be hope for you. [/rant] 11 years I have been ranting about this shit.....you think I'd be tired. Nope. Never!!! Muahahaaaaaa!!!!!!! 34 Comments

Complaints about ALT? Send them my way ASAP! 4: 30 PM [PST] DEADLINE! [ONGOING] Jan 6, 2009 1:29 pm 4684 Views POST OR MESSAGE ME BEFORE 4:30 PM PST! I'm putting together a hit list of bugs and "Wish List" items. This WILL be presented to some of the Big Bosses. Please post below anything you think would be a fix to ALT, or something that has been crippled for a while that still needs addressing. ANd if you see someone has already listed your pet peeves, feel free to reinforce by seconding, thirding, etc. Please link to this post, and cross post it, but keep in mind I have to have this together by 4:30 Pacific Time. Go forth! 88 Comments

The Big 4-0 Jun 20, 2009 12:11 am 223 Views At my computer, scanning in a couple of photos to round out a little retrospective of pictures for my kink blog (mollena is the eurl) and I refresh the screen to see my age roll over on site after site. Here's to being alive sober, and full of gratitude for my 40 years on this body. 23 Comments

Just in case I wasn't weird enough.... [CAUTION: POTENTALLY YIFF TRIGGERING] Jun 4, 2009 10:52 am Mood: 40, 336 Views Yeah so the Bunny Footed Pyjamas I ordered just came in the mail. I couldn't wait to try them on, and now my co-workers, who already thought I was a weirdo, are now e-mailing pictures of me and posting them all over the internet. Why stop here! 8 Comments

When it is worth it. [Or, why I wont be *debating* on race play.] Jun 3, 2009 1:35 pm Mood: 96, 424 Views Since it is the elephant of color in the room, so to speak, here is why you won't see me responding tit-for-tat to those who criticize my motives, on all levels, for sharing my views on a particular approach to one aspect of BDSM play in which I occasionally participate with a handful of friends. I have no interest in debate. Not that I don't wish to have opposing views. Far from it. When I do presentations on playing with race I spend a SUBSTANTIAL amount of time sharing the oppositional viewpoint. To the point where some people take away that they are even more firmly convinced this type of play isn't for them. So when I further expose myself to ridicule and character slashings, up to and including from people with whom I have sat and broken bread, it isn't a self-aggrandizing attention grab. Believe it or not, a real person with real feelings is writing this stuff and putting it out there. I certainly have no joy added to my life when people trash my character and spirit and talk shit about me. But the thing is this. For every person who threatens violence, for every person who has a knee jerk reaction, for every person who paints ME with their PERSONAL revulsion at WIITID, there are many, many more people who hear what I have to say. Even those who are in disagreement with me. My personal blog has much of my writings on this subject and I was moved to tears last night when a reader wrote a response to me that, in all sincerity, washed away weeks or pain and shit that I let impact me. Something I said changed her thinking. This isn’t something people hear every day. But I hear it more and more when I talk about the hard stuff. What submission is. How play can be risky. What it is to be a minority, what it is to be fat. I hear it more and more. When I was in Chicago for Shibaricon, I had several people walk up to me and say similar things. This is a strange and exhilarating and humbling experience. Something I was moved to share changed someone’s life. Their way of thinking. How they see themselves. For the better. Just…wow. Because of that, I carry on. I won't back down from who I am. I will not be made to feel like I am "wrong" or that I should hide in the closet for what I do. Each and every person on this site is here because they identify as kinky. For kinky people to turn their rancor on others for reasons of difference in life-experience, sexual preferences and desire is sad, but no longer shocks me. These same people won’t blink an eye when a local dungeon holds a “Slave Auction.” These same people use tools of oppression, of torture, with a gleam in their eye but feel free to trash me because they have decided that I have “gone to far.” And I know from my own personal experience that some of my more vehement violent critics are those who play in the dark recesses of the mind and heart when it comes to racial politics in and out of the bedroom, but their own issues provoke them to lash out at me, who dare drag this “beast” to the light. I've read post after post where people make tangential arguments and specific examples of why I am wrong to do this type of play. SO many of these people were drawing from NON-CONSENSUAL origins of race based violence. Go ahead and skip over the fact that we in the BDSM community are basing ALL OF OUR INTERSECTIONS ON CONSENT if you wish. But I see the flaw in your criticism. We are all about consent. Nothing I do can ever "trivialize" the sacrifices and horrors of what my family went through in the past. Nothing. So for you to give ME the power to MITIGATE HISTORY is pretty fucking flattering! But you know what else it is? Wrong. Wrong and specious. I travel all over the U.S. to Leather Conventions. I am invited all over the country to share, lecture, teach and present on MANY topics. And I have done the class on Race play perhaps a dozen times. Every time it is nerve-wracking for me, because people come in with chips on their shoulders. But they listen, and we talk. Thing about the online medium, it allows you anonymity and distance to say shit you would probably re-think if you were afforded the opportunity to look me in the eye and actually talk to me about these issues. Therefore, I allow for some of the language to roll off of my back. But not all of it. Because it is important for me to remember how tough this is, and how real. And that is part of the reason I carry on. Because shirking away from it won't make it go away. To those who have negative things to say about race play: believe me, I know, more than you who have NEVER DONE IT, what it bloody means. And for those who wave the flag of "More oppressed than thou:" assume nothing. That is the road to ruin when it comes to truly understanding one another. You. Don’t. Know. My. Heart. Not all of it. I respect your humanity and your right to not do what I do. I regret you fail to reciprocate that respect. So no, I won't debate. The point if a debate is to persuade people to your POV. I have no desire or inclination to do that. My desire and inclination is to suggest ways to open yourself to discussion, dialogue, new and different thoughts. Because that is my job, actually, when you think about it. 11 Comments

Pretty cool: I'll be on the cover of a book of photography! :-D Jun 1, 2009 1:40 pm 414 Views Oh my god! OK, so a couple of months ago I was chatting on Twitter with some guy I didn’t know, who said he was a photographer. I checked out his site and was blown away by his talent, and made some offhand comment about wanting to model for him. Fast forward to NOW and HOLYMOTHERFUCKING SHIT not only was the shoot a source of some images that, even in my pickiness and crankiness find stellar (you can see some of them on my blog at mollena dot c0m) just rootle around a while!) but I have the Brobdingnagian honor of being on the cover of one of his upcoming books. I put the photo in my thumbnail. I am very pleased. There aren't that many POC doing fetish modeling...even fewer fat people, so thins is a fairly unique image of the Kink community we're putting out here. 11 Comments

Unknown May 18, 2009 11:07 am 534 Views It is not the first time that someone has been whipped into enough of a frenzy to excoriate me publicly. Years ago, when I was just talking about race play among a small group of people, and had only one class under my belt, I took this type of fuckery much more heavily. Nowadays, I am mostly unruffled by such bullshit. But yesterday, it went down again, but with an extra twist: someone threatened violence. Hopefully, this so-called class will fail miserably to attract even enough interest to cover the cost of presenting this abomination as “kink”. Forced Black slavery = 60 million known deaths, Ethnic cleansing at the hands of the Nazis = 10 million known deaths, the European takeover of North American = uncalculated deaths that totaled the annihilation of multiple races and the loss forever of countless traditions and ways of life. A really small segment of misguided people, attempting to seek justification in re-enacting that which the public has repeatedly rejected as far to painful, to far too many is again on a quest to show that anything is acceptable when it is defined as “kink”. This response is written to assure that you are aware of those who will react in the extreme, to any such scenes played out in a public venue. While no one can deny the right of adults to do as they please in private as long as the acts are consensual and non injurious, no one should be dumb enough or uncaring enough to force this issue in a public venue. For the record, I am one of those militant-minded individuals who will react violently to such a scene, should I to come upon one in public. All should be warned that I am not alone, as such would injure many and they will react most unpleasantly to such a scene. It takes ovaries of steel, really, for me to do what I do and I rarely give myself credit for this. The first time I taught the “race play” class at a national event was Black Rose. I was very nervous. Afraid I’d be heckled, booed out of the venue. However. The room was SRO packed and filled with a broad spectrum (well, broad by Leather Community standards) of kinksters. All curious, all respectful, even when they differed in opinion. This was gratifying because I’d had my share of abuse heaped on my head. All of it from other POC. I haven’t ever censored myself out of fear. I am not about to now. Once I saw this message posted on a list associated with the Citadel, where I’ll be presenting my discussion on race play the day after tomorrow, I brought it to the attention of Phil, the Manager of the Citadel. Taking my concerns seriously, he called an old friend of mine, Jay Wiseman, who is a good resource and cautious to a fault. Jay called me and calmed me down a bit. (Thanks dudes.) Indeed, this is most likely posturing, and the threat wasn’t SPECIFICALLY against ME. But still… Over it. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that my posting the interview on race play I did would land me a few smacks in the head. I foolishly though that the fact I'd received many inquiries on the topic meant that people were genuinely curious. This far mostly it seem sot be condescension and ridicule, with few exceptions, once I opened the topic for discussion on the Advice Line. Some asshole was even snarky enough to suggest this was some sort bid for notoriety. Yeah. Because being called names by the uninformed and the ignorant is my idea of fame and fortune...? Not by a long shot. I dunno. I think perhaps I am far more naive that even I thought possible. 8 Comments

The FatGirl Pervert Rants. Apr 30, 2009 3:33 pm 686 Views I’m fat. (For the record: I do not use / identify with the euphemism BBW (Big Beautiful Woman). I respect those who do, it just isn’t my choice. “Large,” “Plus-Sized,” “Big” are terms I occasionally use. For me, I prefer fat.) I am, unsurprisingly, ambivalent about it. There isn’t a whole lot of acceptance around fatness today in the US. And then, I’m kinky. Yay! Oh, AND Black. sigh Today we will just rant about being fat and kinky. Ahem! {rant} I came into the BDSM community, saw people all shapes sizes and body types in the Dungeon. I thought “Oh wow! Fantastic! A place where your body type doesn’t matter, where you are accepted for who you are, and no one judges you!” Well. No. I started paying more attention to kinky porn. The models are still slender. I look at photographs. Tough to find someone not unsvelte. Hrm. So then I think “Well, that is still mainstream, right? It ain’t like Skin Two is gonna put fat people in there, they are pretty mainstreamy…” Then I started going to kink events. Watching classes. Seeing that almost all of the demo bottoms are petite. The rope people claim to need slender models because it is easier to work with them. You also hear it is tougher to find fat demo models because they are less likely to volunteer. The bondage gear people hide behind the “equipment limitation” issue. And so on. And so on. I recently saw a post on FetLife calling for demo bottoms. Since this was for an event I’m attending, I was eager to volunteer. Then I read the post. The instructor specifically asked for slender models, because (and I am paraphrasing a bit) fuller-figured people’s skin doesn’t clamp / pinch easily. I was really angry. And a bit stung. Then I stopped myself. How the fuck do we, an alternative outlier community, fail to see that all people being represented is far better then some people being represented? Then I sat there pinching myself. Quite literally. I found it was pretty easy to grab skin on some areas, tougher on others. I imagine that to be the case with anyone. To my jaundiced eye, this smacked of “Look, I don’t wanna play with fat girls so I’ll say something about how it is critical for the class so that I don’t have to reject a bunch of fat people.” I’m fuming, thinking “So…your class is on “playing with thin people”? You are specifically EXCLUDING an entire class of folks because of their size? What happens to the person in class who is fat, has a fat partner, or might play with a fat person? You have no info for them? Why not have a few demo bottoms? Why not just put your your fucking call for bottoms and pick who you want without being so OBVIOUSLY exclusionary? What if you were teaching a goddanmed class and said “No brown skinned people because the marks don’t show up as well on dark people.” ?!?!” But then…I didn’t say anything. Because I thought I was being hypersensitive. Now, I wish I had. If I run into this person at Beyond Leather, I will ask them about this situation. I’m willing to bet they will stick to their assertion that it isn’t prejudice, that it really is just utility! And my response would be, “No.” As an instructor, as a representative of “Our Community,” you have an obligation to educate. Not titillate. That is for the dungeon. We are responsible for helping people play safely and well. How does limiting your pool of demo bottoms further this? I have to check myself, though. The BDSM community is no different that the world at large, really. It just has that self-segregating aspect to it. It is a microcosm. Not a utopia. When BDSM porn producers consider a size 12 woman to be a “large” model, we haven’t made any strides towards inclusion. The few classes I have seen that SPECIFICALLY include fat people and kink tend to approach it as an “issue to be “addressed” I don’t have a fucking issue. I’m just fat. And I want to be seen. I don’t want to be fetishized for being fat. I don’t want to be beautiful in spite of being fat. I don’t want to be beautiful because I am fat. And I sure as hell do not want fat people sidelined and marginalized because we aren’t in your goddamned fetish magazines being held up as the ideal because we aren’t slender. As beautiful as anyone can be, I want to be. Years ago I had a lover grab hold of my belly during a fuck. I, of course, instinctively elbowed him in the ribcage and hollered for him to stop grabbing my fat. It made me uncomfortable. I didn’t want him bringing attention to it. Being him, he smacked my hand away and grabbed me with BOTH hands this time and continued to fuck me. “I like it. So shut up.” Yeah I did. Having been the fat girl that some men have “gone outside of their physical ideal” for, I am kind of tired of hearing “Oh but you are so intelligent, so beautiful, we have such amazing chemistry” and having them OVERLOOKING my size. That is a lot to overlook. I don’t need for everyone on earth to think that fat girls are sexy, but I do need for my chosen family, the BDSM community, to take a look at our lock-stepping with mainstream ideas about beauty and own that shit. Only then will it be OK for fat people to step forward and let ourselves be seen as part of the whole, and not set apart. These photos in this post are from a photographer I’m looking forward to working with soon. The reason I chose to work with him is that he selects his subjects based on who he thinks is hot. He had lots of women of varied body types in his photography. You can see examples here. But for this post I chose the beautiful ones with bodies that look like mine. Because I needed to remember that I am beautiful. And I WILL fucking be seen. {/RANT} 9 Comments

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