Drive by! Jan 24, 2008 11:17 am Mood: exhausted, 591 Views Things are full of fullness over here in my neck of the urban forest. The Good: My Friend is awesome The Bad: Still having shakes and jitters about rehearsals. The Ugly: My ankle is still not right and I probably have to take the day off and go to the free clinic. THE AWESOME........ (DRUMROLL PLEASE) GUESS who is about to become the newest Kinky Porn And Smut Freelance Writer for the Evil Empire of badness and pervery that is Adult FriendFinder?!?!? ONE guess, beotches!! 8 Comments

one thing and another Jan 21, 2008 11:57 pm Mood: uncomfortable, 539 Views I do not know what happened but my ankle is JACKED. It feels like that feeling when you have to "crick" a joint, but don't and then you get that sharp breathtaking pain. But this is like over and over and over. No amount of adjusting my gait helps. There is no swelling, and I have full range of (painful) motion. ANd, of course, I am in full rehearsal swing and have no health insurance and going to free clinic basically means losing a day's work. Aleve, a brace, a cane, here i come. I hope it goes away as freakishly as it came. 4 Comments

Ssssh....OK, so while The Friend brushes his teeth and does contact lens kung-fu.... Jan 21, 2008 1:56 am Mood: Epiphanied, 614 Views .....eeeek! So, I don't know if it was on my blog or on someone else's there was a discussion about pet peeves or pet names or petophilia or something and there was a mention of what That Certain Someone can say that just absolutely makes you want to turn inside out and implode.... well, the Friend just said that very ting. ANd now I am all WOW do I like say something or...fuck!! dammit! This had already been a crazy ass evening. Now it is crazy ass and crazy hot. OK, better finish and not be all obsessy about blogging in the middle of my fucking life! I am insane. Truly. But...OK, whatever... 6 Comments

would you reorient? Jan 20, 2008 3:04 am Mood: crazy, 703 Views I read a post elseweb about a woman trying to "convert" her non-kinky lover. Without going into the bitchslap I feel this gal needs administered, or the Rude Awakening, that she is in for, I wonder...would you shift your paradigm for a lover? Either drop kink or take up king based on your partner's desire? I have dialed way up and way down, and even switched a few times here and again...but the wholesale shift thing...I dunno... . . ...why is she up, you might ask? Empty bed. Do not want. 7 Comments

today tonight tomorrow Jan 20, 2008 1:51 am Mood: sleepy, 529 Views my gods was rehearsal long long long. I somehow managed to stumble through the scenes I was in, and though I am NOWHERE near off book, it wasn't as humiliating as i thought it was going to be. I had to get to the rehearsal hall (in Berkeley) early because we were filming a little video clip to go on the Crowded Fire website to help promote the show. Finally, by 6pm when it was time to go, I was wired and tired. I called The Friend to see how he was doing after his Most Strenuous Evening (*cough*) and his busy day taking his God-Daughter to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. I was at the train station and could technically, have taken a train up north in his direction or back west to go home. He needed some recoup time, so I trundled on home. Well, more accurately, I trundled off to an AA Meeting, then on home. At first, for a few minutes, I felt kinda pouty and heel draggy, since my schedule funnels down to nothing in a few days and I was all "Waaaaaah! Who cares if you need personal time?!?!" On the other hand, it is not as though I couldn't use the rest I think it is kind of awesome to know that he totally DID want to see me, but also knew that he needs to regroup and chill. And I do too! My inner waggysub wants more more more all of the time...I appreciate, on a great many levels, that he seems, thus far, good at taking care of himself and of me too, on a basic emotional level. Just kind of naturally. Plus It made it more clear to me that, it is true, the world does not end if I do not get what I think I want. A girlfriend was asking me the other day "What do you think would happen if he, say, backed out or dialed things way back?" and he certainly would have reason to, I think. I thought about it, and I can honestly say I would be sad. But again, Armageddon is not tied to the Mo's Relationship Status Clock. Well, it isn't barring my getting married, having 2.7 kids and moving to the country. THEN you should keep an eye out for rivers of blood, frog rain and 4 horsemen waving about seals of doom. But in the same way that I did not coil away and die when Things Did Not Work As Hoped with my friend in the UK, I believe that I have the ovaries to live on even if people fall by the wayside. Every time I have thought "THIS IS IT!!! THIS IS THE ONE!!" I have not been entirely correct SO, I'll take this moment to moment smiling feeling for as long as it lasts. I don't want to miss it whilst worrying about when it will be over OK, so just in case this was sounding too sane... I had a moment of Zen when The Friend got 2 calls the other night from 2 exes. Well, I think. One was his first ex-wife and the other some former "friend" who was looking him up after over a decade. How the fuck do these women have this radar?!?! I can't say I was delighted to hear that. I thought it darkly amusing. And, of course, if what is meant to happen is a reunion with an ex, that would be par for my course, as I have driven 4 men to marry former partners after breaking up with me. I know, I know, it is not all about me But that shit is just eerie!!! SO, I took a shower and shook it off best I could. He poked his head into the shower to ask if I was OK, and I could honestly say yes, and it was right then, because I thought it was sweet comfort he even thought to see if I was truly spun out or I was just being a twiddlyhead. Note to dominants: DO DEMONSTRABLY and ACTUALLY give a shit about how your submissive is processing things, OK? We tend to be reactive little squidlets, even the strongest of us, and even the smallest change of pH in the relationship pool can throw off our emotional chemistry. When you show you give a fuck, it makes us feel we'd do anything to please you. Well, OK, Mollena does. She ought not speak for all submissives / slaves / owned property types. They can weigh in for themselves. *sigh* Yay head twiddlies! ....dammit. I don't wanna sleep alone! It isn't evey day you find someone who does not hog covers or wake you up with weird schnorklings or that you wake up with your own weird schnorklings. Fuckolio it is late. 3 Comments

laptopishness Jan 19, 2008 9:37 am Mood: artsy fartsy, 526 Views what is better than surfin' the interwebs in bed? Well, the post interwebsurfing jiggity, that's what. And how was YOUR night?! I'd write more but I have to &&^$ go to &^^%$$ REHEARSAL. ALL. DAY. *sigh* (but a smiley sigh) It is a gorgeous day! What will YOU do with it? 3 Comments

ooo, now there' s a strange shock! Jan 18, 2008 12:58 am Mood: surprised, 644 Views (please to be Disregarding my runaway slave fetish okthx) I was just listening to Pandora and a station that featured old school crooners. Some Frank Sinatra song comes on, and I am feeling it. THEN I swear to god I hear him sing That field of corn, would never see a plow That field of corn, would be deserted now A darkies born, but he's no good no how Without a song ??!?!?!?! SO I am sure I must have heard wrong, so I google the lyrics. They say: That field of corn, would never see a plow That field of corn, would be deserted now A man is born, but he's no good no how Without a song But I am all Dude. NO. SO I re-Googled with the word "darkie" added and sure enough....history sanitizes itself. The original lyrics were "darkie" but were tidied up in subsequent recordings and printings of the sheet music. Man! This makes me wanna go watch some banned cartoons. It is refreshing to know I AM capable of shock! Mild, yes, but still... ON another note, The Friend wants to see There Will Be Blood tomorrow...I wanna see Sweeney Todd. Grr. I dunno...yeah yeah, DD Lewis. Yadda Oscar nom-nom-nom. But...geeze! Well, if I get bored, I told him, or the movie is too disturbing for me in my delicate state, he can always put his jacket over my head and I can blow him. 8 Comments

THE ISS: Be Prepared. Jan 17, 2008 12:28 pm Mood: happy, 465 Views How the Internal Service Submissive knows Things Are Afoot 6:00 AM *ding* Get out of bed No grumbling (!!W!!T!!F!! is up with THAT?!?!?) Turn on heater so that the room can be less chilly Go to the kitchen Swat cat's butt for Excessive Vocalization At An Ungoddesly Hour *thweet* 1 yard penalty! Open can of coffee Start coffee Pill cat Feed cats Get cereal together Slice banana Look blearily out at pitch dark Find organic soy milk Go back to sitting room for small tile table Wipe down and place sunflower bowl with cereal, banana, napkin and bowl on it Carry back to bedroom Continue to brew coffee since one-cup maker is not filling mug Bring back to the bedroom with water and my own banana. Curl up for brekkies in bed Watch him eating and have that be so sweet Surf interwebs on respective phones whilst listening to NPR Engage in Naughty Behaviour Get ready for work Kiss goodbye Still be smiling at 10:49 AM 2 Comments

Fuck Political Correctness Jan 15, 2008 11:58 pm Mood: Truly Sick, 520 Views *apropos of a previous conversation* Him: OK, then, Miss Harriet Tubman.... Me: Oh lord...but. Yeah. Yeah, THAT would be kinda hot. Him: What, like a runaway slave thing? Me: What, would you play the evil slave catcher? *laughing* Him: I was thinking more the, you know, the helper... Me: SO, you would be the ... um... Safe House owner Him: Oh yes....come inside, girl...you'll be quite safe here... 3 Comments

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