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My Blog

Welcome to my blog!

Musings
Posted:Dec 17, 2016 2:10 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2020 11:21 pm
7532 Views

D/s

I enjoy the depths and the intensity of these types of Dynamics.

Many people mistakenly equate genuine intimacy with sexual intercourse.

Do you recall playing a game a school called:" Trust me" one person stands behind the other. The one in front closes their eyes and falls backward, trusting the other to "catch them" before crashing to the floor.

" Trust Me" contains an element of danger, the risk of not getting caught and perhaps even hurt. The person falling places great trust in the person catching.

When the falling player trusts the catcher enough to let go completely, and they catch you as is meant to happen both of you experience a moment that’s difficult to duplicate.

We see profiles that change month to month - is owned by, is in a relationship with - is dating an so on.

What makes BDSM so special that common sense flies out the window?

Many people want that perfect fit or what the perfect fit for them is perhaps it's the perfectly flawed fit.

Who doesn't want that "safe place" to express ourselves verbally, physically, sexually and emotionally.

We do embrace ourselves more so than vanilla folk. You want to share love, care for another, enjoy life together, and come to rely on another?

It takes time to build on a friendship or any relationship based on respect, trust and clear communication.

Just because someone uses the labels Dom/sub etc, time seems to disappear. In taking the time to build on the foundation for any relationship to truly work

Your never done learning and evolving!
0 Comments
We are who we are:
Posted:Jul 18, 2016 6:09 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2023 11:52 pm
17840 Views

We want for things that society tells us are wrong, taboo or sick

Those around us say we should have vanilla as our favourite flavour, and that it will make us happy.

But the reality is we seek more. We seek more to which will make our minds explode. We crave different sensations . We are thrilled by things which others define as wrong or sick.

It's wonderful that we have others who share our passions, our dirtiness, our impurities, our joys

This is a place which always welcomes our escape. There is always someone here that shares our favourite flavour.

Mostly

They come they go.

Que sera sera
2 Comments
The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time
Posted:Jun 5, 2016 1:17 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2023 11:51 pm
21608 Views

Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.

“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.

Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.

You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.

When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.

The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.

The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.

Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.

Heidi Priebe
1 comment
sexual masochism
Posted:Jul 29, 2012 4:26 am
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2022 4:14 am
101066 Views

I came across this article today.

Do you believe that sexual masochism and emotional masochism go hand in hand? Or do you believe they are non related?

What are your thoughts about this article?

Curious minds want to know!

Definition

The essential feature of sexual masochism is the feeling of sexual arousal or excitement resulting from receiving pain, suffering, or humiliation. The pain, suffering, or humiliation is real and not imagined and can be physical or psychological in nature. A person with a diagnosis of sexual masochism is sometimes called a masochist.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , also known as the DSM , is used by mental health professionals to diagnose specific mental disorders. In the 2000 edition of this manual (the Fourth Edition Text Revision also known as DSM-IV-TR ) sexual masochism is one of several paraphilias . Paraphilias are intense and recurrent sexually arousing urges, fantasies, or behaviors.

Description

In addition to the sexual pleasure or excitement derived from receiving pain and humiliation, an individual with sexual masochism often experiences significant impairment or distress in functioning due to masochistic behaviors or fantasies.

With regard to actual masochistic behavior, the person may be receiving the pain, suffering, or humiliation at the hands of another person. This partner may have a diagnosis of sexual sadism but this is not necessarily the case. Such behavior involving a partner is sometimes referred to as sadomasochism.

Masochistic acts include being physically restrained through the use of handcuffs, cages, chains, and ropes. Other acts and fantasies related to sexual masochism include receiving punishment or pain by means of paddling, spanking, whipping, burning, beating, electrical shocks, cutting, , and mutilation. Psychological humiliation and degradation can also be involved.

Masochistic behavior can also occur in the context of a role-playing fantasy. For example, a sadist can play the role of teacher or master and a masochist can play the role of student or slave.

The person with sexual masochism may also be inflicting the pain or suffering on himself or herself. This can be done through self-mutilation, cutting, or burning.

The masochistic acts experienced or fantasized by the person sometimes reflect a sexual or psychological submission on the part of the masochist. These acts can range from relatively safe behaviors to very physically and psychologically dangerous behavior.

The DSM lists one particularly dangerous and deadly form of sexual masochism called hypoxyphilia. People with hypoxyphilia experience sexual arousal by being deprived of oxygen. The deprivation can be caused by chest compression, noose, plastic bag, mask, or other means and can be administered by another person or be self-inflicted.

Causes and symptoms

Causes

There is no universally accepted cause or theory explaining the origin of sexual masochism, or sadomasochism in general. However, there are some theories that attempt to explain the presence of sexual paraphilias in general. One theory is based on learning theory that paraphilias originate because inappropriate sexual fantasies are suppressed. Because they are not acted upon initially, the urge to carry out the fantasies increases and when they are finally acted upon, a person is in a state of considerable distress and/or arousal. In the case of sexual masochism, masochistic behavior becomes associated with and inextricably linked to sexual behavior.

There is also a belief that masochistic individuals truly want to be in the dominating role. This causes them to become conflicted and thus submissive to others.

Another theory suggests that people seek out sadomasochistic behavior as a means of escape. They get to act out fantasies and become new and different people.

Symptoms

Individuals with sexual masochism experience sexual excitement from physically or psychologically receiving pain, suffering, and/or humiliation. They may be receiving the pain, suffering, or humiliation at the hands of another person, who may or may not be a sadist, or they may be administering the pain, suffering, or humiliation themselves.

They experience distressed or impaired functioning because of the masochistic behaviors, urges, and fantasies. This distress or impairment can impact functioning in social, occupational, or other contexts.

Demographics

Although masochistic sexual fantasies often begin in childhood, the onset of sexual masochism typically occurs during early adulthood. When actual masochistic behavior begins, it will often continue on a chronic course for people with this disorder, especially when no treatment is sought.

Sadomasochism involving consenting partners is not considered rare or unusual in the United States. It often occurs outside of the realm of a mental disorder. More people consider themselves masochistic than sadistic.

Sexual masochism is slightly more prevalent in males than in females.(Not sure i agree)

Death due to hypoxyphilia is a relatively rare phenomenon. Data indicate that less than two people per million in the United States and other countries die from hypoxyphilia.

Diagnosis

The DSM criteria for sexual masochism include recurrent intense sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving real acts in which the individual with the disorder is receiving psychological or physical suffering, pain, and humiliation. The suffering, pain, and humiliation cause the person with sexual masochism to be sexually aroused. The fantasies, urges, or behaviors must be present for at least six months.

The diagnostic criteria also require that the person has experienced significant distress or impairment because of these behaviors, urges, or fantasies. The distress and impairment can be present in social, occupational, or other functioning.

Sexual masochism must be differentiated from normal sexual arousal, behavior, and experimentation. It should also be differentiated from sadomasochistic behavior involving mild pain and/or the simulation of more dangerous pain. When this is the case, a diagnosis of sexual masochism is not necessarily warranted.

Sexual masochism must also be differentiated from self-defeating or self-mutilating behavior that is performed for reasons other than sexual arousal.

Individuals with sexual masochism often have other sexual disorders or paraphilias. Some individuals, especially males, have diagnoses of both sexual sadism and sexual masochism.

Treatments

Behavior therapy is often used to treat paraphilias. This can include management and conditioning of arousal patterns and masturbation. Therapies involving cognitive restructuring and social skills training are also utilized.

Medication is also used to reduce fantasies and behavior relating to paraphilias. This is especially true of people who exhibit severely dangerous masochistic behaviors.

Treatment can also be complicated by health problems relating to sexual behavior. Sexually transmitted diseases and other medical problems, especially when the sadomasochistic behavior involves the release of blood, can be present. Also, people participating in hypoxyphilia and other dangerous behaviors can suffer extreme pain and even death.

Prognosis

Because of the chronic course of sexual masochism and the uncertainty of its causes, treatment is often difficult. The fact that many masochistic fantasies are socially unacceptable or unusual leads some people who may have the disorder not to seek or continue treatment.

Treating a paraphilia is often a sensitive subject for many mental health professionals. Severe or difficult cases of sexual masochism should be referred to professionals who have experience treating such cases.

Prevention

Because it is sometimes unclear whether sadomasochistic behavior is within the realm of normal experimentation or indicative of a diagnosis of sexual masochism, prevention is a tricky issue. Often, prevention refers to managing sadomasochistic behavior so it primarily involves only the simulation of severe pain and it always involves consenting partners familiar with each other's limitations.

Also, because fantasies and urges originating in childhood or adolescence may form the basis for sadomasochistic behavior in adulthood, prevention is made difficult. People may be very unwilling to divulge their urges and discuss their sadistic fantasies as part of treatment.
0 Comments
Holy Soap
Posted:Jul 29, 2012 4:21 am
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2015 11:05 pm
100058 Views

HOLY SOAP!

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when
he sees three nuns heading his way..

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.
Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.
Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and
three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs, then yells...

"Holy Mary, Mother of God,
HAND LOTION TOO!
0 Comments
Darkness
Posted:Jan 13, 2012 1:31 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2023 11:52 pm
102138 Views

His eyes were of darkness
Reflected from his soul

Under a black moon we met
It sent shivers up my spine

His arms wrapped
Around me
Tight in His embrace

I glared at him
with fire in my eyes
A burning need
From deep within

My eyes and hair turned black
Darkened like His soul

He saw in my eyes
I was not afraid anymore

He held my hand
Leading me through
The Darkest of nights

Taking me to the edge
He pushed and we flew

Two dark souls together
Both evil and black
4 Comments
The Brick
Posted:Jun 18, 2011 9:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2019 9:41 pm
103004 Views

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What the hell was that all about and who are you? Just what the hell are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. Thank you, the grateful told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
5 Comments
Life isn't about!
Posted:Jun 18, 2011 8:19 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2020 11:22 pm
101240 Views

ife isn't just about keeping score.
It's not about how many people call you
And it's not about who you've dated or haven't dated at all.
It isn't about who you've kissed,
What sport you play,
Or which guy or girl likes you.
It's not about your shoes or your hair
Or the color of your skin,
Or where you live or go to school.
In fact it's not about grades, money,
Clothes, or colleges that accept you or not.
Life isn't about if you have lots of friends or if you are alone,
And it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.
Life isn't about that.
But life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about how you feel about yourself.
It's about trust, happiness, and compassion.
It's about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance
And building confidence.
It's about what you say and what you mean.
It's about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have.
Most of all it is choosing to use your life.
In a way that could have neverbeen achieved otherwise.
These choices are what life's about
1 comment
Value
Posted:Jun 18, 2011 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2019 9:42 pm
101088 Views

Happiness needs sadness.
Success needs failure.
Benevolence needs evil.
Love needs hatred.
Victory needs defeat.
Pleasure needs pain.

You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything.

- Author Unknown
2 Comments

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