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An enslaved muse

The ramblings of an enslaved muse.

Accidents Happen.
Posted:Sep 12, 2017 8:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
4451 Views

There are times when everything goes right and times when things hiccup, this applies to vanilla and kinky relationships.

I've been with my Master for eighteen years and we still make mistakes. Accidents happen, life has bumps and we have to work through any issues, and move forward.

In this case, a couple of days ago, something happened that meant after a quick, hard play session, he was unable to give aftercare and go through our re-center routine. It wasn't something he'd planned, and he couldn't help it. His body decided not to be nice and I was left, worn, used and shaking, on my own in the bed.

Even though I knew it wasn't something I'd done wrong, and he'd never use that as a punishment, I dropped. Hard.

It wasn't something he was happy about because he blamed himself. I blamed myself because I'd obviously 'done something wrong' -- even though neither of us had done this on purpose.

If we didn't have a good relationship, with near constant communication, this would have been worse. We talked our way through it, he helped when the shakes hit, when my emotions started to wobble and tip me in the wrong direction, he centered me.

If something goes wrong, you talk.
If there's an accident, be careful, treat any injuries, talk, take care, and work through it. Apologize if you need to, but talk, talk, talk. Get through any issues the incident causes and don't brush it under the table, but don't use it as a weapon either.

At the end of the day, we're all human and shit happens.
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RIP Jerry Pournelle
Posted:Sep 8, 2017 6:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
4390 Views

News came today that the science fiction author, Jerry Pournelle, passed away. He was able to enjoy one last convention, Dragoncon, and died peacefully today.
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Life, the Universe and - well you get the picture.
Posted:Sep 6, 2017 1:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
4520 Views

Things have been hectic but in a good way. I've dived fully back into writing, seen several short stories accepted and a new novel released in the last eight months. I was lucky enough to have a second novel accepted and will be going through the editing process before Christmas. I even did an author guest spot at a convention, and a talk at an adult store in the past 18 months.

I've also been coming to terms with new medication. You see, I'm a spoonie. For those not familiar with the term, it's someone with a chronic illness (or several of them). For years I've been dealing with this in a mostly un medicated manner because of allergies to the damned medication.

I can't handle steroids for more than one or two emergency doses and the majority of the treatments for auto immune issues are steroid based. Add in the fact that they won't write scripts for pain medication unless you're losing a limb, having a tooth yanked or there are broken body parts involved and well, life can be interesting.

No, for those wondering, the medical green isn't easy to get here, and my conditions aren't covered by the way this particular state works it, so that isn't even an option for me.

After years of this, they finally put me on a treatment plan and there have been some minor improvements. At least, once I got past the initial fog/haze/I think I remember my name, stage.

Master is so damned patient with me when a flare hits - and we enjoy our scenes, playtime, whatever you want to call it, when both of our bodies allow us to.

So, yes... I'm alive, kicking, writing my fingers to the bone at times, and happy with my Master.
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One size does not fit all
Posted:Oct 11, 2016 1:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
11908 Views

Yes, this is a rant.

When it comes to reading, one style/size/genre does not fit all. We - generally speaking - understand this.

So why do some people think that sending poorly written, badly planned out, 'erotica' to me is a good idea? I mean, things written supposedly to 'arouse' my interest in them, yet it's written with multiple tenses, point of view shifts, sentence structure so poor that I had to read some sentences four times to figure out what was actually being said - oh, and ZERO knowledge of what my actual tastes are.

I've said this before and will say it again.

Unless you want an honest critique, don't send erotica to me. Hells, don't send any fiction to me. Especially something that reads like a bad chat log, dictating what MY actions would be.

You don't know me. Don't know what my reactions would be - and frankly in the scenario if I found myself in that, it would be unwanted and result in said 'dom' waking up with a crowd around him...

I disliked the 'you react by doing xyz' when I did chat room RPGs, and that hasn't changed.

End rant.
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A creative submissive
Posted:Sep 27, 2016 5:40 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
12669 Views

I'm back, fully, on the writers track and that's already resulted in one release this month and two acceptances (one for a short story, one for a novella).

I didn't realize how badly I'd been hurt by not writing every day or at least every other day, but it's hit me and I'm surrendering fully to the need to write!

It is a form of submission because that push, need, drive, whatever you want to cal it, is as much a part of me as being submissive to my Master. If I'm not writing, not creating, a part of me begins to resent what I'm missing. The longer I go without working on a story, the harder it is for me. The stories begin to pile up in the back of my mind and I get - frankly - cranky!

It's not a pleasant thing. I don't like me when that happens no more than I like me when I have to shut off, fully, the submissive.

That, however, means that I also deal with 'you're not submissive because you don't let your master dictate what you write, what contracts you sign for work, and what project you work on next'.

To that I say.

Bullshit.

You take on a creative, you accept all of what that means. Including the 'freedom' needed for the creative to be true to themselves. After all, isn't being true to ourselves, finding who we are - dominant, submissive, switch, whatever, a huge part of the life we want to live
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Hectic but doing well
Posted:May 15, 2016 7:30 am
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2016 7:09 pm
30861 Views

Life has had me hopping, with health, work, planning trips and upcoming conventions.

Under Master's instructions I've been focusing, where possible, on my own writing career and I finally knuckled down two weeks ago when I took part in a writing sprint challenge. For those who don't know, that's a set time where you write/work on a current or new project and post your word count at the end of the sprint.

Well, that sprint got the bones of a story down, which I finished the following day and submitted to an anthology call.

A week or so later I opened my email to find an acceptance email! Just the boost I needed.

I've also been building up a weekly fiction blog, which means I'm writing at least 3500 words a week just for that blog!

I've had two books (one small novella length) released since October and there are two more in edits currently with another one in the 'getting the bones down' stage.

Training our service continues well, and he's now a year old. He's half wolf, half husky and we couldn't ask for a better dog. He's done some amazing work with me!

So that's where things currently stand!
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Training
Posted:Sep 15, 2015 8:23 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2016 7:09 pm
62178 Views

Not me... but the pup.

He's settled into the household nicely, and he's also alerting to other medical situations in the family - including mine. Twice now he's given warnings of an event and he's been right both times.

So, I'm struggling to juggle writing, artwork, Master, the pup and more.

Also have a trip to North Carolina next month - work related - and pup is coming with. Well, I say pup, he's already over 50lbs...

He's an amazing dog, and we're blessed to have him in our lives.
1 comment
Fiction - not erotic.
Posted:Aug 22, 2015 7:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
61703 Views

I've been swamped, honestly swamped between work, Master, the and the pup - who is already 50lbs give or take.

But I've managed to get some writing done and this is one of the short pieces, non fiction, that I've managed to complete earlier today.

Crumbs in Bed

"Not again," she sighed and brushed down the bottom sheet. "Why do you insist on doing this? There's a perfectly good table over there, and you'd have plenty of room for your snack."
"Sorry," he grunted, a few stray crumbs falling from his chin as he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "Just tasted so good, I couldn't stop. No one knows how to cook like you, love."
She couldn't help but smile at the comment. "Well, I always did listen to Momma when she was teaching me how to win the way to my husband's heart." That didn't excuse the mess he was making though. Crumbs. She was going to feel crumbs all through the night now. No matter how careful you were brushing down the sheets, or shaking out the blankets, her skin would itch at the imaginary crumbs that would work their way into her dreams.
"Thanks. Still, the table. Right there." She sighed and stepped back from the bed, trying to see if she'd missed any of the small, scratchy crumbs.
"I know, I know." The sound of vigorous chewing followed his words, then a heavy swallow. "You out did yourself this time."
She flushed, glancing back at him as he half sat, half lounged in the bed. "I try my best. You did the hardest part anyway, bringing in the hunt. I could be the best cook in the world, but without your hunting abilities it wouldn't mean anything." She blew him a kiss. "That doesn't, however, excuse the mess. I just changed these sheets yesterday. And you know how hard it is to get them clean. Oh love, you've got grease stains on the comforter." She shook her head. Grease and leather, cleaning that was going to take far more work than he would ever understand.
"I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. Besides, I mean it, darling. No one knows how to prepare humans like you. You get the skin all nice and crispy, and the bones – hmmm I could gnaw down on those all night." Her husband flashed his perfectly sharp teeth before smacking his full grey green lips. "And these walked right into the trap. I can't believe how dumb those adventurers are."
Hunting humans was an easy thing that any Ogre past their tween years was capable of doing, but her momma had always said to let the males think they were the best hunters out there, feed their ego for a while, just long enough to set up a good home, and a stock of food before you got to the breeding part.
Then – well – if he didn't change his ways then it would be his turn in the cook pot. After all, a mother had to provide for her young…
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Back from trip
Posted:Jun 29, 2015 10:35 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 4:43 pm
63683 Views

And drained. Pup is going to take a lot of work, but we knew that. He's gorgeous, and will be getting his check in visit with our vets on Friday.

He's still too young for the rabies shot, so until then he has to be on the leash at all times outside of the house, which he's finding hard to cope with, but it's part of the drill.

Now to dive into all of the work emails that have backed up!
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Clones needed
Posted:Jun 18, 2015 3:04 pm
Last Updated:Aug 23, 2015 6:46 pm
65065 Views

I've barely had time to breathe...

Two conventions within 3 weeks of each other, multiple products worked on, two sick , now leaving for Houston tomorrow morning to collect the service candidate.

Part of the issue involved fast turn around edits for two books back to back (one for one of my current authors, another for a book for the game imprint). Prep work for a preview of a game book due out in October, and sudden go ahead to play test a game - and then my own muse hitting me at the same time!

I'm sorry about the silence!
1 comment

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