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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Sexpert > Magicians, Queens, Predators and Fools!
Magicians, Queens, Predators and Fools!   by Cleo Dubois

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In her 20-plus years of kinky experience, Ms. Cleo Dubois has studied ritual piercings among primitive tribes, acquired expertise in rope bondage, and developed her own special fire at the end of a whip. Cleo's DVDs, "The Pain Game" and "Tie Me Up," are seminal works in the field of BDSM education (available online at http://www.cleodubois.com/video.htm). Cleo presents seminars and weekend Intensives around the San Francisco Bay Area. In fact, her reputation for intense workshops and in-depth understanding of the rituals of BDSM has made Ms. Dubois a favorite guest presenter at major leather conferences throughout the country.

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Ready to begin the demo portion of my Temporary Piercing class in Oklahoma City a few weeks ago, the first raised hand I see belongs to none other than Philip the Foole, self-identified “humble court jester” of the SM scene. I will let him tell it:

“Of course, I volunteered to be a crash test dummy. I can do six dozen of those wimpy little 25-gauge needles Madame Cleo was using standing on my head. Once I was trapped, sitting down in front of the class, she said, ‘considering your reputation, I have something a bit stronger for you.’ She brought out [a sterile pouch containing] some sort of locking medical gauze clamps with sharp spikes on the pincers… She clamped one of these evil gadgets through the skin on each side of my chest. The intense pain dropped me into my non-verbal, growling, snarling, ‘beastie boy,’ headspace… She pulled and twisted on the clamps to intensify the pain. Like I said, Cleo is my kind of woman. Beastie boy likes to frolic with humans who have no sense of fear or self-preservation.”

And what a growling beastie he was! We understand what Philip is saying because, as Carl Jung pointed out, these archetypes exist across cultures in our collective unconscious. So we know what beasties are, how a Queen behaves, what it means to be a Slut or a Knight in shining armor. What the intense sensations and rituals of BDSM can do is plug us directly into these core elements that vibrate within. One of my own archetypes revealed herself during my first experience bottoming as a fantasy slave girl.

Over 20 years ago, the Master/Magician I chose to initiate me in ritual submission was trained in Gestalt at the Esalen Institute. He struck me as sensitive, kind, sexy and DOMINANT. I had met him, his wife and their beautiful slave girl at the Society of Janus when they were that month’s presenters. We remain friends to this day. One night I confided to his wife that with her permission, I wanted to submit to him. When I approached him, he replied:

“Slave girl? I don’t think so, but sexy wench looking to test her power, that we can do.”

A date was set and I was instructed to present myself at his door, wearing a bra with cut outs for my nipples under my button down dress. My pubic hair had to be shaved, something I had never done before. By the time that special evening arrived I was burning with excitement!

The playroom was dimly lit. Master’s first order was for me to sit on a low stool in front of his deck, The New Tarot Deck, cards turned face down. “Relax and pick a card,” He said. Somehow I sensed that my choice would be significant, so I took my time making my selection.

“Ah, the Queen of Swords! Look at her: kneeling up, holding sabers at arms’ length over her head. Of course,” He commented, nodding wisely. He instructed me to undress and his wife draped me in a red negligee in the same fashion as the Queen in the card. Ordering me to kneel in front of a full-length mirror, He took two beautiful swords out of the cabinet and commanded me to hold them up like the Queen. He watched, as I looked at my reflection. I didn’t dare say a word; I just held his swords proudly.

When the pain in my shoulders became unbearable, I heard from deep inside me, “laissez tomber les armes.” French for “let your weapon down,” the sentence stands for “surrender.” At that moment, I was ready to surrender, not as a victim, not as the one who lost the fight, but as the warrior strong enough to lay down her weapons. The slow and thorough flogging, nipple torment and Tantric love making that followed blasted open the door for me to SM Magic. My initiation left me feeling quite powerful indeed.

So who are you in a scene? A sex magician, seducer, princess, knight, damsel in distress, slut or pet? Have you ever wanted to be daddy’s girl? Do you wish Daddy to be controlling, sexy, teasing, or tender? When you are tied to a St. Andrew’s cross are you a sexy wench held captive by a pirate or a prisoner punished by a sadistic jailer? Is your style in the dungeon tender, rough, passionate, serious, playful? When you embody archetypal energies in SM, you might get more than you bargained for, no matter how well you negotiate.

Consider Marie, who for many years, was in lust with a man outside of her SM community. Her theater coach and bodyworker, John, was her mentor. A passionate woman, Marie could not resist his green eyes, muscular body, smooth southern drawl and macho charm.

She trusted him implicitly, dreaming the dream of the submissive without boundaries, anything you want, Sir! Yes, Sir! Thank you Sir! She craved to be his prey, and be taken with no limits. When he finally seduced her, she dropped to her knees in ecstasy. Lone predator that he was, he took her on the ultimate journey into sexual submission, dominating her without any hesitation, royally fucking her, and then dismissing her at the click of an email.

If not for the support of her close community of kinky friends, Marie would have been devastated. Of course, she could not forget him, using her hot memories to reach orgasm over and over. Five years went by and one day, she received a handwritten letter from him, apologizing for his past behavior. The seducer, the gypsy, the predator wanted her again and this time Marie set a boundary requiring him to call her after each date.

Using just his hands, voice, cock and knife, their torrid D/s play went on for six sizzling months. Once again she found herself consumed by desire dreaming that their relationship would go on. She wanted to bear his mark. As he dragged his blade slowly across her breast, she begged him to cut her. He kept promising, “soon, soon”. He had never drawn human blood with his hunting knife and he would get all turned on whispering in her ear about it!

Marie confided in him how significant and bonding the ritual cutting would be, and in the end, the chase was his game. The predator, the lone wolf, could not commit; she received her “dear John” letter again via email. She revealed to me that this time his desertion broke her trust and the magic is gone. Her heart bears an invisible scar because she gave of herself so deeply that no matter what John does with her gift of submission, he will always have that part of her.

We are not always aware of the risks we are taking and the results can be pretty momentous. A predator does not a trusted loving Dominant make, anymore than a warrior laying down his or her weapon in surrender a victim or loser makes.

When you are playing, be open and honest about who you are and how you feel about your play persona. Be ready for surprises, and remember, it never hurts to give each other lots of tender aftercare.

Like one of this season’s archetypes, big daddy Santa, does for us when he rewards our inner child at this time of gift giving. Hey Santa, don’t forget to fill all the black leather stockings of my column readers. We really are good boys and good girls, finding our way in a society that is still afraid of the way we love and the toys we play with.


In Leather Pride with heart,
Cleo Dubois

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Here's what Cleo has coming up:

1) The Erotic Dominance Intensive Weekend for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
February 4-5, 2006
The SF Citadel, San Francisco
Meet & Greet Friday evening February 3
Hands-on training, Limited to 8 students - Enrolling Now!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax
http://www.sm-arts.com/mens-intensive.htm
http://www.sm-arts.com/mens-application.htm

2) The Erotic Dominance Intensive Weekend for Dominant Women and Women Who Switch
March 25-26, 2006
The SF Citadel, San Francisco
Meet & Greet Friday, March 24
Hands-on training, Limited to 8 students - Enrolling Now!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax
http://sm-arts.com/players-course.htm
http://sm-arts.com/players-application.htm