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Mother Of Six 29/6/2017
A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth
to 6 , begins to call her "mother of six"
rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first,
chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her
husband's description. "Mother of six, "
he would say, "Get me a beer!" "Hey mother
of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This type
of situation persisted to a boiling ...
0 Commentaires, 32 Consultations,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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A Biker Story 29/6/2017
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw
a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What
are you doing?"
I'm going to commit suicide, " she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't
want to miss an opportunity, so he asked "Well, before
you jump, why don't you give ...
0 Commentaires, 26 Consultations,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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The Three Worst Chinese Tortures 29/6/2017
The Three Worst Chinese Tortures
Once upon a time a starving man named Harry Enis was walking
in the middle of a Chinese forest when he stumbled upon a
huge mansion. It was close to nightfall and he had no where
to stay, no food, and nothing to make camp; so he walked up
to the mansion and rang the doorbell. A very ancient man
with a long beard brushing the floor answered the ...
0 Commentaires, 22 Consultations,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Dear Alcohol 9/6/2017
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge
fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when
needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game,
and you're even around in the holiday's hidden
inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in
the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately
I've been wondering about your intentions. While
I want to believe that ...
2 Commentaires, 20 Consultations,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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The power of Alcohol 9/6/2017
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes
in and informs the dad that his was born without torso,
arms or legs. The is just a head! But the dad loves his
and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the is now old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the he is proud
of him and orders up the biggest, ...
0 Commentaires, 13 Consultations,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Moral Test 25/5/2017
This test only has one question, but it's a very important
one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where
you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation
in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that
your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please
scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
THE SITUATION ...
0 Commentaires, 26 Consultations,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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A Jewish Divorce 25/5/2017
A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting
a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother.
'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely
little arsehole, the size of a 5C piece. Now its the size
of a 50C piece'. The mother replies 'Sweetie, you have a lovely home,
a Porsche, a platinum credit card and have 4 foreign holidays
a year.... and you want to give all that up ...
0 Commentaires, 30 Consultations,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House 25/5/2017
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his
wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From
now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and
my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,
and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve
me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner,
you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will ...
0 Commentaires, 15 Consultations,
1 Votes
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Survey 22/5/2017
In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the
feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest
just enjoyed the peace and quiet.
0 Commentaires, 13 Consultations,
5 Votes
,0.86 Score
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DATING RITUALS OF WOMEN 22/5/2017
CANADIAN WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary
position.
IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN First Date: ...
0 Commentaires, 15 Consultations,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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A Night At The Farmhouse 20/5/2017
The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for
room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was
no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my , " the
farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her."
The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to
the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and
felt the farmer's at his side. The next ...
0 Commentaires, 38 Consultations,
1 Votes
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The Silent Treatment 20/5/2017
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight. Not
wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00am"
and left it where he knew she would find it. ...
0 Commentaires, 21 Consultations,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Barbie Girl 20/5/2017
A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises
that it's his 's birthday and he has not
bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his
a Barbie. Inside he sees a Barbie display and asks the salesgirl
how much the Barbies are.
The girl responds: "Which one? We have:
Gymnasium Barbie: $19.95 Volleyball Barbie: $19.95 Shopping Barbie: $19.95 Surfer ...
0 Commentaires, 20 Consultations,
1 Votes
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3 Eggs And A Little Cash 19/5/2017
A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed
him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found.
He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7, 000 in cash he found in
the box, so he asked his wife what the eggs were for. "Oh those", she replied, "every time
we had bad sex, I put an egg in the box". Not bad, the husband thought to himself, after 35 years
of marriage, then ...
0 Commentaires, 13 Consultations,
0 Votes
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Chess 19/5/2017
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of
his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?",
they asked as they moved along. "Because, " said the manager, "I can't
stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
0 Commentaires, 8 Consultations,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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Brothel 18/5/2017
Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday,
and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw
men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out
happy and smiling. One day they became curious and decided to see what was going
on. The madam answers the door and looks down at the boys,
and asks what they want. They explain what they saw, and
tell her that they are ...
0 Commentaires, 16 Consultations,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED 18/5/2017
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.
Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door.
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.
Q: What do blondes say after sex? A: "Are you boys all in the same band?"
Q: Why is a blonde like a door ...
0 Commentaires, 12 Consultations,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Blondes and Oil Changes 18/5/2017
(1996, Texas) 45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San
Antonio after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages
of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the
car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't
realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to
change the oil.
0 Commentaires, 8 Consultations,
0 Votes
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2 Eggs 18/5/2017
Two eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and
everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous
about the honeymoon night so the female egg decides to dress
up in a skimpy little negligee to help them get excited.
The husband comes along and sees his wife dressed like this
and all off a sudden runs into the bathroom and locks the
door. The wife is very shocked by his ...
0 Commentaires, 10 Consultations,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Date Site Descriptions 18/5/2017
You might find this amusing. Dating Site Descriptions
What they Really MEAN: !!!!
Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun = Annoying, Wild = gets pissed easily, Beautiful eyes = face like a robbers dog, Seeks knight in shining armour = Ex is a fxxxing nutter.,
New age = hairy and smelly bits, A bit head strong = Argumentative , ...
0 Commentaires, 9 Consultations,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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The Man's Perspective. 18/5/2017
The site from a mans perspective, is strange and bordering
on sad, we get the various categories, which by not saying
to much, you don't seem to fit into, mostly the categories
include: 1) Look at me, 20 photos some with wind machine blowing that
Farah Forsett hair around but there not affected. 2) Don't smoke but the fag in hand gives it away but that
doesn't mater because the 2 cans of Stella ...
0 Commentaires, 6 Consultations,
0 Votes
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Husband And Wife 16/5/2017
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be sleep 22 times you had a ...
0 Commentaires, 14 Consultations,
0 Votes
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The Atheist And The Bear 16/5/2017
An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot
grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was ...
0 Commentaires, 9 Consultations,
0 Votes
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Man finds best fitness program till last 27/3/2017
Man finds out he needs to lose some weight quickly and sees
ad on back of newspaper saying ultimate fitness program.
He calls and asks for service.
Next day a fit blonde arrives and says "If you can catch
me, you can have me".
He chases her, loses pounds and has her.
Next day he calls and asks for upgrade. Shortly, a petite redhead arrives and says "If you
can catch me, ...
0 Commentaires, 16 Consultations,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Toys and boobs 23/3/2017
Two boys talking and one says to the other, "Why are
boobs like toys?"
The other boy smiles and says "Because they are fun
to play with but end up in your mouth".
Both smile. Thanks women for everything.
0 Commentaires, 7 Consultations,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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What did the duck say to the ? 13/2/2017
Put it on my BILL!
5 Commentaires, 38 Consultations,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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What did the psychiatrist say to the naked crazy man wrapped in Saran Wrap? 13/2/2017
I can CLEARLY see your('re) NUTS!
1 Commentaires, 18 Consultations,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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One Wprd Or Two 13/1/2017
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going
out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time
to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman ...
1 Commentaires, 30 Consultations,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Making breakfast 13/1/2017
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful, "
he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE
are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .
CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me ...
0 Commentaires, 29 Consultations,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Riddles with an X in front of the rated! 13/1/2017
Apologies if some are a little crass but some of them are
gold! . . . . X-RATED RIDDLES Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
your new car. ============================================= Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ============================================= Q. What's the definition of macho? ...
1 Commentaires, 31 Consultations,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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