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Eidgenoessische Spielereien 19/8/2017
Fritzchen und Peterchen spielen bei Peterchen zuhause
Wilhelm Tell. Fritzchen steht mit einem Apfel auf dem Kopf
an der Wand, Peterchen zielt - doch er schießt daneben
und trifft in Fritzchens rechtes Auge.
Peterchen zielt nochmals - doch er schießt erneut daneben
und trifft Fritzchens linkes Auge.
Da sagt Fritzchen: "Ich muss jetzt nach Hause gehen!"
Peterchen: "Du ...
2 Comentários, 71 Visualizações,
144 Votos
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Dear Alcohol 9/6/2017
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge
fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when
needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game,
and you're even around in the holiday's hidden
inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in
the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately
I've been wondering about your intentions. While
I want to believe that ...
2 Comentários, 20 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,1.04 Pontuação
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Sad Dick... 12/3/2017
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is
nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's
a pussy, and his owner beats him.
2 Comentários, 30 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.86 Pontuação
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Oy-vay 12/3/2017
A guy turns to his wife in bed and whispers, "Did you
know it's National Orgasm Day?"
"Oh, what a pity, " she said, "Right in
the middle of National Headache Week."
2 Comentários, 26 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.08 Pontuação
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One Wprd Or Two 23/2/2017
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going
out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time
to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman ...
1 Comentários, 30 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,4.41 Pontuação
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What did the psychiatrist say to the naked crazy man wrapped in Saran Wrap? 19/2/2017
I can CLEARLY see your('re) NUTS!
1 Comentários, 18 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,2.78 Pontuação
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Riddles with an X in front of the rated! 20/1/2017
Apologies if some are a little crass but some of them are
gold! . . . . X-RATED RIDDLES Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
your new car. ============================================= Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ============================================= Q. What's the definition of macho? ...
1 Comentários, 31 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,4.02 Pontuação
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Screwed... 18/1/2017
A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind
if I sit beside you?”
The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO
SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”
All the students in the library started staring at the guy;
he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the
guy’s table and said: “I study psychology, and I know ...
0 Comentários, 60 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,4.22 Pontuação
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Young Couple... 18/1/2017
A young couple, on the brink of divorce, visits a marriage
counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife, “What’s
the problem?”
She says, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.”
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, “Is
that true?”
The husband replies, “Well not exactly, she’s the
one that suffers, not me.”
0 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,4.41 Pontuação
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About Laying Off... 4/1/2017
Two managers are going over their budget for the next year...
After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the
conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two
assistants, Jack or Ann...
They go back and forth but can't decide who to lay off...
Finally, one manager decides that they should lay off the
first person who gets up from their desk...
In the meantime, ...
1 Comentários, 77 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,4.41 Pontuação
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Satisfaction 2/1/2017
The masochist says to the sadist "Hit me." The
sadist hits , and they are both satisfied.
The masochist says to the sadist "I want you to hit
me." The sadist says "I won't", and
they are both satisfied.
1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
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Watch what you ask for 25/8/2016
Watch what you ask for
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places
the bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about
one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back
into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the
counter as well. He reaches ...
1 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,5.20 Pontuação
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The Complment... 25/8/2016
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really
need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect.'
1 Comentários, 19 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,5.00 Pontuação
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How old guys pick up women 27/7/2016
The young man asked the senior citizen for tips on how to
pick up women.
The old gentleman explained...
I am getting on in years and not the best looking guy anymore.
Some would even say I'm a little frayed around the edges.
But, I have a nice car, a little money, and I spend most of
my time casually traveling from place to place and enjoying
life.
I met a nice ...
1 Comentários, 55 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.08 Pontuação
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Hard Times... 25/7/2016
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they
decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite
sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that
bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks.
If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up
and asks, “How much?” She says, “A ...
0 Comentários, 65 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,4.92 Pontuação
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OMG!!!.... Noooooooo!!! 7/7/2016
He's in trouble...
1 Comentários, 137 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.86 Pontuação
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Bubba and thr toilet brush... 7/6/2016
Bubba and the Toilet Brush
One day when Bubba and Billy Bob were in the Little Rock -
Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They each bought five tickets at a dollar a pop. The following
week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Billy Bob won 1st place - a year's supply of gourmet
spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.
Bubba won ...
1 Comentários, 40 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
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Out of Bounds... 13/5/2016
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for
all male students, and the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined
$20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the
second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time
will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for
a season ...
1 Comentários, 45 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,2.79 Pontuação
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Origin of the wood "Boob" 10/10/2015
Q: What is the origin of the word "Boob"? A: The "B" is the aerial view, the "oo"
is the front view, the "b" is the side view.
1 Comentários, 26 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.16 Pontuação
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How to Catch a Polar Bear 27/5/2015
First you cut a hole in the ice. Then you encircle it with
peas. When the polar bear takes a pea you kick him in the ice
hole. Ha Ha Ha
2 Comentários, 24 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,1.04 Pontuação
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Blondes on Honeymoon 2/5/2015
A Mother had three virgin blonde daughters. They were all
getting married within a short time period.
Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would
get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard
from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first blonde girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after
the wedding. The card said nothing but ...
3 Comentários, 209 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,5.27 Pontuação
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Confessions 2/5/2015
A young couple, just married, are driving off to their honeymoon
getaway. As they drive, the husband says to his bride, "Honey,
I have a little confession to make."
"What is it?" she asked.
"Well, you know a couple of weeks ago, when we were
at my parents' place for dinner, and it got late, and
they said you could spend the night in the guest room? I remembered
you saying that ...
0 Comentários, 62 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.43 Pontuação
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Suspicion 2/5/2015
A guy is talking with his new neighbor, who just moved in
a few weeks ago. "Say, Joe, you look down. What's
the problem?"
Joe, the new neighbor, says, "Well, I think my wife
is cheating on me."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, when I first started working for my company,
I was in Louisville. Then about two years ago I got a transfer
to St. Louis. Last year I was ...
0 Comentários, 57 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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The differance 2/5/2015
What is the differance between a woman and a frying pan????
There isnt any. They both have to be hot before you put the
meat in
0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
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公雞吃了威而剛之後(笑話) 31/3/2015
公雞吃了威而剛之後
一位農場主花了很多錢買了一批母雞，想靠賣雞蛋賺錢。
不料母雞一個個無精打采，總是不生蛋。他很著急，去請教專家。
專家問明情況以後，告訴他說：
"雞也是動物，也有生理需求，所以你應該再去買一批公雞"。
...
3 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,4.02 Pontuação
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Which Do You Prefer? 29/1/2015
Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.
She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.
I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny
Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC.
3 Comentários, 31 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
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Which Do You Prefer? 7/12/2014
Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.
She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.
I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny
Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC.
2 Comentários, 30 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,4.50 Pontuação
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Tickle Me Elmo 29/10/2014
Tickle Me Elmo:
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the
Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she
reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to ...
1 Comentários, 135 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,5.07 Pontuação
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The bear 29/10/2014
A bear walks into a bar and says "bartender, give me
a beer!" The bartender looks at him and shakes his head, "I'm
sorry sir, its against the policy of this bar to serve beer
to bears." The bear frowned and slammed his paw down and said "I
don't care, I want a beer and give it to me now!"
The bartender simple shook his head, "I'm sorry
sir, its posted and this bar will serve no beers to bears" ...
1 Comentários, 191 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,1.29 Pontuação
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Bowling 25/11/2013
3 Frauen treffen sich am Morgen, nachdem ihre Gatten zusammen
beim Bowlen waren und hackebreit morgens um 03.00 Uhr heimgekehrt
sind.
Sagt die eine: Ach meiner hat nicht mal mehr das Türschloss getroffen,
da hab ich ihn grad im Treppenhaus pennen lassen.
Die zweite: Meiner hats noch ins Bad geschafft und ist dann vor der Badewanne
eingepennt.
Die Dritte: Meiner ist ...
1 Comentários, 44 Visualizações,
139 Votos
,3.28 Pontuação
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