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Articles by Zeus2512

Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
ABSTINANCE   7/31/2018

There was a businessman, and he was not feeling well, so he went to see the doctor about it. The doctor says to him, "Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do you eat?" The man rep


0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Tattoo   7/30/2018

A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On


0 Comments, 81 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Get well soon!   7/27/2018

A traffic cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his cr


0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Files Her Tax Return   7/27/2018

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br> The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions.&qu


0 Comments, 105 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Born When?   7/24/2018

I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and told her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born, simply by holding their breasts in my hands. <br><br> Sh


0 Comments, 58 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Silent Treatment   7/23/2018

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an e


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Confession   7/20/2018

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. <br><br> When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said:


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Getting The Most Out Of Counselling   7/15/2018

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each other's throa


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The King And The Counts   7/15/2018

A King ordered the heads of several of his counts chopped off because they refused to reveal where they had buried their treasures. As the axes began to fall, one count decided to change his mind, but


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
THE HORTH WITHPERER   7/12/2018

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a . Sam asks "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech im


0 Comments, 39 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Golfer and the Leprechaun.   7/12/2018

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.


0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Straw Hat   7/11/2018

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you wer


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
My First Time   7/9/2018

It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. <br><br> The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. <br><


0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Blonde Painting   7/9/2018

One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there anything I could do for


0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
A Drunk   6/28/2018

A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Organist   6/28/2018

A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. <br><br> Unfortunately, she distracted the


0 Comments, 47 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Bubba And The Lawyer   6/21/2018

Down south, Bubba ed his attorney and asked, "Is It true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin People to git cancer ?" "Yes, Bubba, sure is true, " responded the lawyer.


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Finally a sensitive man   6/12/2018

A woman meets a good-looking man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom


0 Comments, 48 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
"I’ve outlived my dick." A Poem - by Willie Nelson   6/6/2018

My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. <br><br> Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But no


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Senior Surgery   6/4/2018

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his , a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his .


0 Comments, 36 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE   6/4/2018

An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. <br>


0 Comments, 41 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Honesty   6/4/2018

A girl says to her mother "I know where babies come from Mummy. Sarah told me." Her mother replied "And where is that, dear?" The girl says "She said that you put Daddy's


0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Phone Call   6/4/2018

A woman is having sex with her husband's best friend when the phone rings. It's her husband's ringtone, so she stops to pick it up. There's a big grin on her face as she talks to him.


0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
My Travel Plans for 2018-2019   6/4/2018

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. <br><br> I've also never been in Cognito. I


0 Comments, 23 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Holiday Present   5/28/2018

Bob's wife is going off to Paris for a long weekend with her girlfriends. As he drives her to the airport, she says to him: <br><br> "Is there anything you'd like me to bring


0 Comments, 39 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Billy Bob and Luther   5/24/2018

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther" Ya knowI reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it A little different. The la


0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Free Oranges   5/19/2018

Lulu was a , but she didn't want her grandma to know. <br><br> One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma


0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
WELL, I'LL BE GONE   5/17/2018

A guy walks into a bar with his and says, "I'll have a otch and water and my would like a whiskey sour." <br><br> The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals


0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Photo on the night stand   5/16/2018

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. <br><br> 'Is this your husband?' he nervou


0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Underwear dust   5/3/2018

evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' <br><b


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Fireman Sex   5/1/2018

A FIREMAN came home from work day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the


0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
THE BOTTLE OF WINE   5/1/2018

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home fr


0 Comments, 25 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
THE CORK   4/30/2018

Arab terrorists were in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Toronto, when notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse. If you do not mind me saying, " stated t


0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH.......   4/30/2018

Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't but notice how pretty Seam


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Impotent   4/25/2018

97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed. <br><br> He says “Doc, I think I’m impotent.” <br><br> Doctor sits him down and begins the standard speech he gives


0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Cowboy   4/24/2018

Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. <br><br> CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG SIR? <br><br> Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
THE BOTTLE OF WINE   4/17/2018

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home fr


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH.......   4/17/2018

Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't help but notice how pretty


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
WHEELIE BIN   4/17/2018

A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, (unusual


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Desperates   4/17/2018

Having been chatting to a few of the girls (ladies) on here and elsewhere, there seems to be a trend for them to start using the term "Desperates". What is a "Desperate"? Normall


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Disappointed   4/9/2018

A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me, which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?” <br><br> Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How


0 Comments, 33 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
A drover in the Northern Territories   4/8/2018

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. <br><br> He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Good Ears   3/28/2018

A young man moved into his first new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes,


0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Vanilla Pudding Robbery   3/13/2018

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disab


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
TWO STRINGS   3/6/2018

These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar..." <br><br> The other


0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR   3/5/2018

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well> dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-wear


0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Vicar's Salary.   3/2/2018

The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave. <br><br> Mike Smith, who


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Chicken Sandwich   2/25/2018

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what..... <br><br> A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their


0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Mice   2/18/2018

Mice How Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb? <br><br> Now, wait a minute, before you scroll down for the answer, see if you can figure this out. Come on... Think about it! How


0 Comments, 25 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Frank   2/17/2018

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie:


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Primark Catalogue   2/9/2018

Two Thanetians were looking at a Primark Catalog and admiring the Models. <br><br> One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this Catalog?' <br><br>


0 Comments, 25 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Gardening   2/8/2018

A nymphomaniac was doing her gardening sunday afternoon when the wind blew her skirt up to reveal her bare arse. At this moment a appeared in the garden and stuck his tongue in her crotch. Without


0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Crosses   2/8/2018

What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves? A cartridge in a bare tree. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a bat with a lly hearts club? Lots of blind dates. &


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
A smart blonde!   2/1/2018

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know, " he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicke


0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Three Little Pigs   2/1/2018

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. <br><br> 'I would like a Sprite, ' said the first little piggy. <br><br> <


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Date Site Descriptions   1/31/2018

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Deriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!! <br><br> Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = No breasts, 30 something = 41, Fu


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Doctors Never Laugh   1/31/2018

Bob went to a doctor and asked him if he ever laughed at a patient. The doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty I've never laughed at a patient.&


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Office Showoff   1/29/2018

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, th


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
gissa a job   1/29/2018

This will go far... This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so hst and funny! NAME: Greg Bul


0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
At The Anatomy Class   1/23/2018

A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what h


0 Comments, 36 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Maxims   1/22/2018

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Two wrongs are only the beginning. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no life


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Spelling.....   1/21/2018

Thought you’d like this: Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect! <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br&


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
A mental hospital   1/19/2018

After hearing that of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the reuer's file and ed him into h


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Two Scots   1/18/2018

ots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub diussing Jock's forthcoming wedding. 'Ach, it's all going grand, ' says Jock. 'I've got everything organised already: the flowers,


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX   1/17/2018

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An o


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX   1/17/2018

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An o


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
But My Wife Won't Like It   1/16/2018

A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart. <br><br> Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him. <br>


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Dolphins   1/16/2018

A few ago, there was a really eccentric oil tycoon who had taken it into his head to collect really strange and exotic pets. day, deciding to add to his collection, he walked into the store of an ex


0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Racing Snail   1/13/2018

My racing snail is not winning races anymore so I decided to take his shell off to reduce his weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didnt work if anything its made him more sluggish


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Bacon Tree   1/13/2018

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... <br><br> 'He


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Pest Control   1/12/2018

An Irishwoman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. &qu


0 Comments, 39 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Leaving Early   1/9/2018

women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early. day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right beh


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Sacked   1/6/2018

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ peop


0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Lemon Squeeze   1/4/2018

There once was a religious young Irishwoman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, "Confess you


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
NI Women   12/27/2017

Three men sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties to perform. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his new wife to do all the dishes a


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Frozen Turkey   12/18/2017

Sarah new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, 'Richard doesn't appreciate what I do for him.' 'Now, now, ' her mother comforted, 'I am sure it was all just a misun


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
I want to see something really cheap   12/15/2017

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. <br><br> <br><br> "How about some perfume?" he


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Ethel   12/14/2017

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
The Wedding Night.   12/13/2017

eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the hymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little negligee


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Catholic Dog   12/13/2017

Muldoon lived al in the Irish countryside with only a pet for company. day the died, and Muldoon we nt to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Onions And Christmas Trees   12/7/2017

A family is at the dinner table. The asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? <br><br> The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, , there are kinds of Boobs: <br&


0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
LIFE THOUGHTS BY 'DUCKY'   12/6/2017

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. <br><br> Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. <


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Looks of Disappointment   12/5/2017

A Irishman was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're truly beautiful." Then he fell asleep a


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
ONLY IN SCOTLAND   12/4/2017

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square wh


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Trained   11/29/2017

An old man who'd lived all his life back up in the hills came to visit a childhood friend. Now he'd never laid eyes on a train or the iron rails on which they run. Standing in the middle of


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Irish Virginity Test Kit   11/28/2017

Paddy is planning to marry and asks his doctor how he can tell if his bride - to - be is still a virgin. The doc says, " Aye Paddy, all Irish use 3 things for what we call a DIY virginity test ki


0 Comments, 42 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Mick & Paddy   11/26/2017

Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?' 'Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because, ' said


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Paddy   11/24/2017

Paddy walks into his GP's surgery and punches doctor! He then shouts "You bastrd telling my wife she has a nice fanny!" The doctor says "I told her she's got acute angina..!&quo


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Deodoranjt   11/20/2017

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Near Death Experience   11/20/2017

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No


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The Blonde and the Casino   11/20/2017

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand rand (R20, 000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don&


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HOLY SOAP   11/14/2017

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. <br><br> They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. <br><br> Father John says he has soap i


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
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Elderly Couple   11/13/2017

An elderly couple who were both widowed had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding they went out


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This old wino   11/10/2017

This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out. The said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick. The barman, thinking this was a fair excha


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
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Frozen Wimdows   11/6/2017

Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning: "Windows frozen." Husband texts back: "pour some luke warm water over it." <br><br> Wife texts back: <br><br>


0 Comments, 23 Views, 0 Votes
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Trouble sleeping   10/27/2017

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. <br><br> "Well, I, uh, " she stammered. "I think I, uh, mig


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Jewish Divorce   10/26/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little ars


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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50 Years!   10/18/2017

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I


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166 Articles
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Penis Enlargement   10/16/2017

A man went to a doctor to have his dick enlarged. The particular procedure involved grafting a baby elephant’s trunk onto the end. Overjoyed, the man went out with his girlfriend to a very fancy res


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Vely Good   10/15/2017

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. <br><br> She yells, "Wh


0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Performance Evaluation!   10/14/2017

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he saw a coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the is back again. So, he goes over to the and notices he has a note in his mo


0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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How My Husband Broke His Arms....   10/14/2017

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The British Way   10/12/2017

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British


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166 Articles
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The Atheist and the Bear   10/11/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. <br><br> As he was walking al


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166 Articles
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Fairy Tale   10/10/2017

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch......... But it was a long time ago..... …and it was just the ONE day. The End


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Guy's Logic   10/10/2017

Lady: Do you drink? Man: Yes. <br><br> Lady: How much a day? Man: Three 6 packs. <br><br> Lady: How much per 6 pack? Man: About $10.00. <br><br> Lady: And how long


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Fake two dollar bill   10/9/2017

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Harrods   10/8/2017

Harrods <br><br> *A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Ye


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Random Jokes   10/8/2017

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! <br><br> <br><br> T


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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LAWS OF INEVITABILITY   10/5/2017

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessib


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166 Articles
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Nair   10/5/2017

My neighbour found out her could hardly hear so she took it to the vet. <br><br> He found that the problem was hair in its ears. <br><br> He cleaned both ears and the could he


0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Wedding Night   10/3/2017

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Ital ian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was a very nervous. Her mother reassured her,


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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TAKING A WOMAN TO BED   9/29/2017

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ? <br><br> . At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 -- You tell her a story and take


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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A Few Thoughts For You   9/29/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashi


0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Lonely Widow   9/29/2017

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Another Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman Joke   9/29/2017

There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says "I was cleaning my 's room the other day & I found a packet of cigare


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Bruce And Sheila   9/29/2017

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
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LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN   9/29/2017

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all sa


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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20 Rules for Successful Writing   9/26/2017

For those of you who write blogs and articles for the site, here a a few simple rules for you. <br><br> 1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects 2. Prepositions are not words to end sente


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
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Strange Diseases   9/25/2017

A young couple left their wedding reception, arriving at the hotel for the first night of their honeymoon. They cracked the champagne and began undressing. When the groom removed his socks, his new


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!   9/21/2017

A father passing by his 's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed


0 Comments, 48 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Gas Prices in Paris - Tres Bien!   9/21/2017

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. <br><br> After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. Only two bloc


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Divorce Letter   9/20/2017

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks


0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Little Johnny's Breakfast   9/20/2017

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.


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Jack Schitt   9/19/2017

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the on


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
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Weight Loss   9/18/2017

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. <br><br> The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   9/14/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law!


0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Accident At The Toll Booth   9/13/2017

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pul


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Main Vice President   9/10/2017

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. <br><br> Finally she couldn't take it any


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Painting the Church   9/8/2017

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. <br><br> A


0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Tales From The Shire   9/7/2017

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the ho


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166 Articles
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EATING IN THE FIFTIES   9/7/2017

* Pasta had not been invented. * Curry was an unknown entity. * Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet * Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming * Herb


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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New Windows   9/6/2017

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the wi


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166 Articles
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The Elderly Golfer   9/6/2017

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. <br><br> As he passes through the swinging doors, h


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166 Articles
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The Salesman   9/3/2017

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. <br><br> "Good morning, " said the young man.


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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HOW LONG HAVE I GOT LEFT?   9/1/2017

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the ni


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!   8/30/2017

A father passing by his 's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Tomatoes   8/27/2017

See if this works for yours (tomatoes that is) . . . <br><br> <br><br> A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day,


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Survey   8/26/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Funny Thoughts for the Day   8/24/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashi


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Irish v. The French!   8/23/2017

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. <br><br> 'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in Cou


0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes
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A guy's guide to spotting Ms Wrong by the end of the first date   8/22/2017

When you're in the thick of a first date, judgement may not be on your side. Often you'll find yourself asking or agreeing to see her again, then waking up the next morning to a clear-as-day r


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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EVEN MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   8/18/2017

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
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Irish Priest   8/17/2017

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of th


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
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Pumpkin   8/17/2017

This was apparently in the Washington Post .... The title of the article was Best Come Back Line Ever.' In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, G


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
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SKIRT ZIPPER   8/15/2017

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed an


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
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DATING RITUALS of women   8/10/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

I


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Irish Radio Phone In Quiz   8/9/2017

Some belters from Larry Gogans radio show phone in quiz called the "just a minute quiz"

(Larry) Q. Something a blind man might use? (Contestant) A. A sword



(L.) Q. A song wi


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Why We Like The British   8/8/2017

True Reports from British life ............!!! BRITISH NEWSPAPERS

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, '


0 Comments, 68 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Letter From The Boss   8/8/2017

Memorandum

TO: All employees FROM: The boss DATE:August 8th, 2017 RE: Foul Language



It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the comp


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166 Articles
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Poor Elton   8/2/2017

Elton John goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Elton, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have HIV."

Elton is devastated. "Doc, what


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Pregnancy Question   8/2/2017

Catherine, pregnant with her first , paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." "I know, I know, " the doctor said, placing a reass


0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Groans   8/1/2017

Doctor Evil cloned himself again. This time created a full size version of himself. He was charged with "Bigger Me."

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Dollywood is currently undergoi


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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How To Poop At Work   8/1/2017

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
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The Test   7/31/2017

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.

"Could


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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My Wife Left Me   7/31/2017

My wife left me... And I don't understand.

After the last was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer.

I was not a big drinker, may


0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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My US Air Force   7/31/2017

Even Zoomies get it right once in a while.

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latri


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Wongs   7/26/2017

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations, ' says the


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Stuck In A Bog   7/26/2017

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry, " assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the str


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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DOLLY PARTON AND QUEEN ELIZABETH   7/25/2017

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Lone Ranger's Last Request   7/25/2017

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..

"In honor of the Harvest Festival


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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BEER TROUBLE SHOOTING GUIDE   7/25/2017

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backwar


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Wrong Suit   7/25/2017

An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One


0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Miracle Cure   7/20/2017

NEW - Miracle Cure!!!





• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

• Do you suffer from shyness?

• Do you sometimes wish you were more ass


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166 Articles
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Great Advice   7/20/2017

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have found inner peace.

The article read:

'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off the things you have started'.
<


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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A tale of four cats   7/20/2017

Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Empl


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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pest Control   7/3/2017

An Irishwoman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Odd One Out   7/3/2017

Odd One Out

Which is the odd 1 out? 1. Toaster. 2. Washing machine. 3. Dish washer. 4. Woman.

Answer = A toaster.... Its the only 1 that doesnt drip when its fucked


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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2 Irish Nuns   7/3/2017

Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Su


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Mother Of Six   6/29/2017

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 , begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, t


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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A Biker Story   6/29/2017

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" <


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The Three Worst Chinese Tortures   6/29/2017

The Three Worst Chinese Tortures



Once upon a time a starving man named Harry Enis was walking in the middle of a Chinese forest when he stumbled upon a huge mansion. It was close to


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Dear Alcohol   6/9/2017

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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The power of Alcohol   6/9/2017

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his was born without torso, arms or legs. The is just a head! But the dad loves his and raises him as well


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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Moral Test   5/25/2017

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation i


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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A Jewish Divorce   5/25/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little arsehole, the size of a 5C


0 Comments, 30 Views, 0 Votes
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166 Articles
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YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   5/25/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
Survey   5/22/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
Score 0.0
DATING RITUALS OF WOMEN   5/22/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOME


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A Night At The Farmhouse   5/20/2017

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my , " the farmer said, "if you


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Zeus2512 71 M
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The Silent Treatment   5/20/2017

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an e


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Zeus2512 71 M
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Barbie Girl   5/20/2017

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises that it's his 's birthday and he has not bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his a Barbie. Inside he sees a Barbi


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3 Eggs And A Little Cash   5/19/2017

A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7, 000 in cash he found in the box, so he aske


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Zeus2512 71 M
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Chess   5/19/2017

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked


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Zeus2512 71 M
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK   5/19/2017

We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else. Tom Stoppard (1937 - ), Rosencrantz and Guildenstern


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166 Articles
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Some thoughts on scening   5/18/2017

Scening can be great fun for the parrticipants, and the viewers if done in a public room, but, it has to be believable in order to work. While you maybe suspending reality while you're playing, you ha


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Brothel   5/18/2017

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. One


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   5/18/2017

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why do


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Blondes and Oil Changes   5/18/2017

(1996, Texas) 45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had broug


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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2 Pots   5/18/2017

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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2 Eggs   5/18/2017

Two eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the honeymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little n


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Date Site Descriptions   5/18/2017

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Descriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!!

Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun = Annoying,


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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The Man's Perspective.   5/18/2017

The site from a mans perspective, is strange and bordering on sad, we get the various categories, which by not saying to much, you don't seem to fit into, mostly the categories include: 1) Look at me


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Bubba's New Toilet Brush   5/18/2017

While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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At The Anatomy Class   5/18/2017

A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what h


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Top Ten Blonde Inventions   5/18/2017

10...The water-proof towel 9...Solar powered flashlight 8...Submarine screen door 7...A book on how to read 6...Inflatable dart board 5...A dictionary index 4...Ejector seat in a helicopter. 5...Powde


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166 Articles
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Husband And Wife   5/16/2017

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I d


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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The Atheist And The Bear   5/16/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustli


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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One Wprd Or Two   1/13/2017

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the w


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Making breakfast   1/13/2017

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful, " he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at


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166 Articles
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Riddles with an X in front of the rated!   1/13/2017

Apologies if some are a little crass but some of them are gold! . . . . X-RATED RIDDLES Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. =============


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When Jane met Tarzan   1/13/2017

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle...





When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked


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166 Articles
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Composure Or Aplomb   1/13/2017

The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.

This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.
<


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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What Happened Next?   1/13/2017

A man is talking to his best friend about married life.

"You know, " he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."




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166 Articles
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Baby's First Doctor Visit   11/3/2016

Baby's First Doctor Visit

I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The d


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Musical Willies   2/9/2016

As there is no section on games, i have put this here. It is just an idea for people to try out. Let me know how you get on, and any ideas to improve it. Musical Willies Object of the game: To see how


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Muslim Logic   8/13/2015

A Muslim couple in Peckham Rye, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counseling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "We realize it's a tradi


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166 Articles
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What is the difference between men and women?   7/15/2015

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women some


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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In the desert   7/1/2015

2 guys are walking along a desert when they come ascross a girl buried up to her neck. One of them asks, "What's in it for us if we pull you out?" She answers, "Sand."


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Blondes on Honeymoon   10/11/2014

A Mother had three virgin blonde daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period.

Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them a


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Which Do You Prefer?   8/3/2014

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny

Apparently I'm not we


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Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Which Do You Prefer?   8/3/2014

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny

Apparently I'm not we


0 Comments, 30 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 71 M
166 Articles
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Tickle Me Elmo   7/11/2014

Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me E


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