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MS. DARKNESSWITHIN73 - You have often looked at my profile, but never message? I like your profile name, "darkness" is my favorite color. I would love to share thoughts with you. Will you message me? PLEASE?
[B]WOMEN ONLY! - PLEASE![/B]
NOW I can't even flirt! Frustrating, but not worth even that small investment to upgrade. I have been "gold" before, and the pickings were very slim. Probably same or worse now?
I may have "flirted" with you to get your attention. I hope this works. I am a standard member, and so I cannot contact anyone through ALT unless a member messages me first, then I can reply. And unfortunately only premium or VIP members can do this. I get “viewed” by some VERY interesting women, and it’s frustrating not to be able to read their profiles or to reach out to them, but that is how it now. I have been an ALT member for years, as a Domme, a gold member, and it was really not too successful for me, not worth the investment. So I am trying it this way for now.
I will be interested in talking with women anywhere in the world. I have adequate financial means to travel (I often do) anywhere in the world for an "evaluation" visit or, if it comes to that point, to relocate myself at my own expense.
I have begun to explore the submissive part of my nature which, as I have discovered is fairly strong. I want to keep developing this submissive part of me. My initial curiosity about this aspect of myself has grown into much more, and I feel compelled to follow the exploration of my submissiveness, and see where it leads me. I was a Domme for many, many years, and never felt any submissive tendencies or curiosity until perhaps a couple of years ago, then curiosity began and grew. I still have no idea WHAT might have triggered this new desire (or freed it from being subconsciously suppressed) While I have Dommed both men and women, and enjoyed both equally, I can only imagine SUBMITTING to a woman, NEVER a man. That much does seem clear to me, it MUST be a woman! And why that would be I have NO idea, but I am quite clear on that issue. Sorry guys!
I have also felt I was only bi-curious or “mildly” bi-sexual, and my real-life experiences with other women were mostly very “tame” (although admittedly enjoyable). Coincident with my increasing desire to explore my submissiveness was an equally strong desire to explore my bi-sexuality. I have always enjoyed the look of attractive women, but recently it has a more sexual aspect in my mind. I sometimes fantasize about women I know, deal with in my profession, or even see passing by during a normal day. This is something I very much want to pursue together with the exploration of my submissiveness. As I noted my desire was to explore submissiveness ONLY with women, and exploring my bi-sexuality seems to “fit”. I’m sure they are somehow linked in my subconscious.
I have a close friend who was a Domme along with me (and she is still Domme) and I opened up to her about my curiosity some time ago. We talked about it often, and over time I found my Domme “spirit” ebbing away. One evening at my home, we were having a glass of wine before going out for the evening. She drugged me, and I found myself bound, gagged and helpless. She kept me from Friday evening until Tuesday morning (neither of us needed to go to work until Tuesday). She was rough, she used me hard, she hurt me until I screamed (through my gag),she laughed at me and took photos and videos of me and threatened me with them. I was angry, I was frightened, and I was unbelievably AROUSED. I got only a couple of orgasms that entire time, but they were the strongest and longest I have ever had. When I went to work on Tuesday, I needed to wear long slacks, a long-sleeved, high-necked blouse, and I could barely sit down. I hurt all over, but I masturbated several times that day at work and in the evening I literally exhausted myself with orgasms.
She is a very attractive woman, but I have never been attracted to her sexually, and beyond that one week-end I have no desire to ever submit to her again. Our friendship has resumed however in a more vanilla fashion, and she shows no desire to ever “take” me again (but I do make sure I pour the wine and keep my eye on the bottle).
But that long week-end did two things, it “broke” me and it made me realize that I was truly an extreme submissive. I haven’t Dommed anyone since (several of my old subs are distraught) and have also not submitted to anyone. And I have not discussed it with anyone I know, and will never do so.
My Dominant fantasies and activities were quite extreme, and that is also the path my submissive thoughts and fantasies follow. And my friend was MOST extreme with me that week-end. I’m not so sure how much I could accept in real life, but certainly everything that happened to me in that one submissive experience. But I’m sure I could eventually be trained to accept ANYTHING my Mistress/owner did to me/with me. I have a sense that complete slavery is what my ultimate destiny SHOULD be. And a sub or a slave should not have their own desires and limits, she should submit herself fully to her Domme, and accept anything that is done with her. We will have to see where I go, where I am led (or seduced or forced) to go.
At this point, I am, I would say an EX-Domme. What I WILL be in the future is still a work in progress. Only time (and the right woman) will tell. I hope I find someone (female) that I can explore and pursue this with. I will be slow and cautious for a time, but eventually I am open to frequent activity, live-in, even 24/7/365. I have a profession that will be good anywhere (no, NOT “the world’s oldest”), and adequate resources now that if I didn’t work I would be fine. If it eventually came to it, I could easily disappear from my old life and enter an entirely new one. I am not in a rush, I don’t know what/when things might happen for me, but I feel drawn so strongly in the direction of full and complete submission that in the right situation, with the right woman, I would surrender everything to her. It has almost become a compulsion. I also know it might never happen, leaving me frustrated with nothing but fantasies and masturbation for comfort. But I’m very willing to explore openly and honestly with a woman who thinks that my mind-set is congruent with hers.
I would be very interested in exploring this with Dommes (FEMALE – ONLY - sorry guys), and even with other submissive or slave women to help me understand the road I’m on. Perhaps some Domme can shape me into a creation for her pleasure, and make me cherish that role and accept it as my destiny.
In the meantime, informed conversation on this topic is very welcome.
[if254 1]
Meine ideale Person:
You should be adventurous, intelligent, attractive, uninhibited and imaginative . . . and have a very DARK side! Hopefully someone who seeks another woman for complete servitude 24/7/365. But at this point I am happy to explore with anyone, and even subs are welcome to contact me. Perhaps they can shed some light on my journey to come.
PLEASE no men, no TV's. Very feminine transsexuals are acceptable. But that is feminine, not just "passable".
I DO NOT judge others and their chosen lifestyles; I have nothing against ANY persuasions, perversions, etc.; I just know what will work for me (and what will not) and what I want at this time.
All serious, "qualified" replies will receive a respectful response.
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