With all the exploring, learning, constantly growing skills and honing of clarity, my profiles are constantly changing.
What I am finding more than anything is that alternative and bdsm is truely collaborative play...the deeper the connection I have with a playmate the juicier the fun. My goal is to connect longterm - ideally with a submissive or switch fella who is a bit service oriented, a fun playmate and lover and perhaps a in time a life partner.
**News flash** I am deep in the throws of learning shibari and absolutely loving it and obsessed. Sure does get me excited. If you are interested in being tied and you have a place I have the rope, ability and desire. ***news flash***
I'm an ample, curvaceous, voluptuous, "fat" woman who is smart, confident and creative. And I'm motivated like most people so of course rewards come to those who seek to please me - and yet I am compassionate and and do not accept a person wanting to lose themself in my needs and wants altogether. You'll find me a generous, creative, collaborator, lover and playmate. I like you to have a masculine side and to be thoughtful- I love knowing that you are submitting to me specifically not just to a strong woman. Do not expect overt or excessive humiliation although playfully teasing you is fun for me. I love to sexually taunt you and make you squirm - at your workplace, in public and in private - till you plead to be released. I am very sexual.
For me the key to bdsm play is the word "play"...I am smart so being able to bring your intllegence to the table is a plus - keeps things lively.
I love gardening, cooking, design, volunteering and travel. I also stay involved in my UU congregation.
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My Ideal Person:
I work in the environmental nonprofit field which means I live fairly simply in terms of material stuff so you being financially secure is a good idea if there's lots of toys, travel and money things you want to do....I am kinda nerdy yet also a good, manager, mentor, teacher and advocate in my professional life - and nationally known so I am in the lifestyle closet.
Be appreciative that there's more of me to love and express your admiration verbally and sexually. Be fit enough to go the distance - love the idea of doing fitness stuff together. Be drug free (a little pot or the occasional recreation non-narcotic used safely is ok...). Be STD free as am I. Be down to earth and stable. Be thoughtful...being attentive and devoted makes my heart go thud and squishy. Be adept and turned on by my desires and wishes which will be lovingly expressed - and I blossom like a dessert after a rain. Know your limits and be able to communicate them. Be creative and smart and active in the before and after communications. In relationship communication I try to focus on learning rather than changing, blaming a person. Teasing apart, understanding, and healthy resolution is what my goal in conflict.
Some of these qualities can be cultivated as they are not necessarily intuitive but can easily become so if you've the heart for it.
I like a bit of persistance from suitors. I find it reassuring.
And of course everything is fluid and nuanced and flexible....some qualities are needs I have and obvious but most are preferences that ebb and flow....
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