My Ideal Person:
It is burning inside of me this need. The need to be abused. I know where it comes from and i have fought it for so long. I crave it. I want it. Maybe i do feel it is what i deserve. Maybe it is all i am good for. I dont know. I do crave the rage. I almost want the hate. I live a very normal life but this need is getting so much stronger. I want to be whipped till i bleed and can no longer scream. i want his scorn i dont want him to make love to me i want him to rape me. I dont want him to caress me i want him to hit me. I dont want him to say he loves me i want him to hate me with words. I dont want compassion i want cruelty. I dont want freedom i want to be owned. I want to live in fear, pain, and humiliation. I crave it. When fucked i want to be fucked up. I want him to f*** my throat until i throw up. I want him to hurt me when he f**** me. I want him to spit on me when he is done. Then he can put me back in my cage. I want to cry at what i have become knowing i crave more..