[B]NO LONGER LOOKING AT THIS TIME
I am a very conservative person. I am a wife and mother. I am very shy person. I am short and fat. Very fat. I have from a pretty young age had very dark brutal cravings. I chose to ignore and go the opposite way thinking that they would go away. They are stronger then ever. I crave extreme fear pain and humiliation. I have tried to go about this by claiming to want something else but here i want to be straight forward. I dont want cloth pins wax not playing. I dont want to be harmed just want fear and to be controlled through fear. Total lack of control. I do have limits that i will not compromise on. They can be discussed I want to be degraded and made to feel pain.
[if254 1]
My Ideal Person:
It is burning inside of me this need. The need to be abused. I know where it comes from and i have fought it for so long. I crave it. I want it. Maybe i do feel it is what i deserve. Maybe it is all i am good for. I dont know. I do crave the rage. I almost want the hate. I live a very normal life but this need is getting so much stronger. I want to be whipped till i bleed and can no longer scream. i want his scorn i dont want him to make love to me i want him to rape me. I dont want him to caress me i want him to hit me. I dont want him to say he loves me i want him to hate me with words. I dont want compassion i want cruelty. I dont want freedom i want to be owned. I want to live in fear, pain, and humiliation. I crave it. When fucked i want to be fucked up. I want him to f*** my throat until i throw up. I want him to hurt me when he f**** me. I want him to spit on me when he is done. Then he can put me back in my cage. I want to cry at what i have become knowing i crave more..
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