I'm having a problem lately with the extreme parallels of Dominance and submission. The two are marketed as being almost as extremely different as male and female. I don't seem to fit in one mold... and I have to admit it's confusing for this little girl sometimes.

My demeanor is strong, confidant, friendly, vibrant, jolly, assertive, and...yes...dominant. I'm a go-getter. When I see something I want, I don't stop pressing or trying until it is in my possession, or I get bored and simply don't want it anymore.

Still, as dominant, assertive, and strong as I may be, the last thing I want is to dominate a man. While I have respect for submissive men, I'm not drawn to them. In fact, I want a man even more dominant than I. A man who exerts control because that is simply his nature.

I have an Italian background. As most people know, when we love, we LOVE, and when we fight, we FIGHT. I'm an extremely passionate person, and while I'm not the fighting type, if I were to be involved in a verbal conflict, I secretly want the man to win, but I want to make it hard for him. What a fucking turn on...a man who can hold his own without the threat of a whip in hand. But I want him to win without making me shut down half of my personality and become 'fall to the knees doe-eyed' submissive and not requiring me to diminish myself in anyway.

I'm submissive, but... I don't want someone to require that I shut down my vibrant powerful parts... That wouldn't be living to my fullest...and I want a man to have my whole package.

Hmm....I suppose I'm still working out the 'kinks' in my head. Anyways, that being said...

I've met some really awesome people on alt, and...some that have actually scared me. As if I didn't have trust/longterm commitment issues as it is, this has been amplified. In a play setting, yes, I will playfully submit, but with someone I'm really interested in, get ready, because it's not going to be easy. When I do actually fully give myself, I relieve my mind of all stresses, complications, and literally melt in your hands. All I'm saying, is that it takes a while. While I'm not a doormat, I want to make people feel wanted, desired, satisfied, and beyond thrilled.

I want men to remember my name.

I won't insult your intelligence by listing out my favorite things, you can find that in my checklist.

Outside of the "alt" lifestyle, my interests are cooking, partaking in complimentary wine and beer, buying new shoes, reading (right now I'm engrossed in de Sade), pampering myself, and political/philisophical debates. I'm a girly girl, but I can get dirty.

Of all, I have to say cooking is my favorite. I really believe in appetite for appetite. I would much rather have dinner with a man who savors every bite and comments about what he's eating for 3 hours than a man shoving food in his mouth or pushing it around on his plate. If you don't employ your senses to enjoy something that nourishes your body, that tells me you'll be a bit of a wet fish in bed.

My Ideal Person:
Oh man...my ideal person? I don't want people to mistake this description for necessity in a man. Physical looks have nothing to do with this, but since I have the opportunity why the hell not throw it in. Okay here goes...
Most of my men have had:

Extreme dominant personality and gentle demeanor (sometimes haha). Atheist/agnostic/spritual. 5'8 or taller. Dark hair/eyes. Late 30's early 40's. Strong arms and hands. T-shirt kinda guy. Rhythmic. Purposeful swagger. Enjoys a good cigarette after wearing my ass out/sex. Traveled extensively and can't get enough. Knows what its like to live outside the states. Avid alcohol connoisseur. Appreciates the arts, especially writing. Turns the TV off and reads. Isn't 'mushy' but lets out his romantic self because he wants to show it to me. Allows me to be as nasty as I want. Dirty fucking mouth, clean teeth. Has a thing for european cars (sorry daddy). Enjoys a night in of delirious fun, but likes to go out to exercise in a social circle. Has his own interests. Can debate me on serious topics. Challenges me to reframe so to speak. Dry sarcastic dark humor. Deep booming laugh, which is honestly my biggest turn-on. Enjoys himself. Thoughful. Takes good care of his body, but isn't in the gym 9 times a fucking week. Let's me call him Daddy. And challenges me to be the woman of his eye.