I still keep an open eye for potentials but I don't really see the benefit of paying for that ability. There seems to be as much chance of running into people into bdsm on the street as there are finding mates here. Probably better on the street. I think maybe because when you meet in person as real regular people you can see if you want to hang out. Whereas on a kink site, pretty much anyone thinks "INSTANT HOOKUP!" That's just not my style. I am not looking for love, or that infamous "ONE" that so many people are seeking. But neither do I want a slut male that will do anything that moves or struggles. Where is the middle ground? Where are the people that do want sensuality, a degree of committment to one partner, but also do not seek that love connection?
But it was fun chatting a few of you up for a time. I don't know what the mail regulations are for regular members but hopefully it will not interfere should any real potential come from this site. In the meantime..
Who and what I am is this:
I am opening myself to the possibility of meeting other men. I am still pining for the X and the old way of life, but I know it is time to get passed that and find other adventures. I need someone who does not mind that I am in love and that will not change. I want a man who is not threatened by that and is willing to have some fun and torment. I want.. someone to take me into the land of sensuality, use me, take me, abuse me, and even fuck me. But don't ask for love.
I like men who are assertive. I like men who do not back down when faced with opposition, unless backing down is the most logical course of action. I like men who are honest with themselves and their needs. I love men who have intelligence, more than a little education, and the ability to make me blush.
I like.. men.
I am a short, rounded woman who doesn't tire easily. I look much younger than my age (it is good being short!). Education is my friend! Learning is a joy and I hope to continue my exploration into anything that catches my imagination.
I can be a leader in life but it is a role I choose only because few will step up. I run the local BDSM munch list in Butte County, CA. We occasionally do special events such as shopping for perversions, BBQ's, meet and greets, discussions and of course parties.
I see the call to run a group as a service to my pervy local community. I find it odd that people see that leadership role as one of a natural dominant. I have no wish to be dominant when in a loving, secure relationship. I require that security to step back and let someone else take charge.
I am submissive when in a relationship that compels that from me. And, I have a masochistic streak. You probably could get that from my nick. I am an admitted masochist. But that does not mean I need to vent that urge all the time. When I am happy and content I don't feel the call for pain. I am happy to indulge someones need to inflict it, if that is their wish. But I don't NEED the pain if I am otherwise happy. However I can LIKE it, a lot. Being a masochist and a submissive can make my reactions vary according to my perception of my mate.
I am a masochist because in times of stress, I need to vent that desire for danger, reckless behavior, and pain. It is a personality quirk I have adopted over the years for survival. Even though sometimes that reckless part can push the survival mode to the end of the envelope.
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My Ideal Person:
What do I want?
Right now, some distraction. I am trying to get over an X mate who is still in my life. We will not get back together as he has a new nilla life he wants to try.
I am not prone to casual acts of sex, or drive by encounters. I want to like the men I spread my legs and lips for, as people. That doesn't mean a long courtship before being intimate. It means if I see there is a connection, there may be a physical connection in the immediate future. I want a committed relationship without the LTR. Dang.. it was so much easier when people dated before they had sex.
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