Attractive, intelligent, Rubenesque, Renaissance woman, exploring submission. Relatively new to the "Scene" BDSM and D/s. Seriously exploring through experimentation and participation. Active in gateway community play groups and attending classes.
Unattached, looking for guidance through communication. No rush to be "owned".
Extremely versatile and creative (artistic in several mediums, as well as prose and poetry).
All of my senses are keen. I am passionate about the things I like. Anything I enjoy excites me. This is not limited to D/s or BDSM, it includes sight/color, sound, taste, touch, ole factory senses in the world and all it's splendor. My emotions are weighted more to the extreme ends rather than the boring midline. It makes life very interesting, because I feel everything and I sometimes think and analyze too much, but it is innately me...as they too are partnered with my submissive tendencies.
Submissive to the core, I am also strong and opinionated, very independent, organized and efficient, I am no one's fool...correction I have been taken for a few rides in my day, consider it an education! For the most part, I know what I like, I am capable and enjoy being unselfishly generous to those deserving of my gift.
Those I see at play parties and events are all different, a kaleidoscope of lives, all having their own niche', fetish, fantasy. Personally, I had to search for a fantasy, finding that my true fantasy revolves around a relationship. One real well-matched union, in that fantasy, the sky is the limit.
As I evolve in this lifestyle some things are beginning to surface, but still nothing stands out in particular. Correction, EVERYTHING stands out! I have enjoyed all of my experiences beyond my wildest dreams. I realize I have only scratched the surface, but it only gives me drive to seek further into submission and BDSM.
Just learning about this new world, I take in everything, including constructive criticism that may be offered as a banquet, some of it is pleasingly satiating, while other causes distress, but I digest it all with the ability to revitalize my being and discard the waste.
There is something to be utilized in everything I see, hear, feel around me. I do not necessarily like everyone I meet here or anywhere else in my life journey, nor may I agree with someone's ideology or opinions, but isn't it just wonderful for all of us to have the freedom of expression! And, I might add it is most acceptable here than anywhere I have even been.
Vanilla does not measure up in this world! Give me Cherry Garcia!
Update...July 24, 2008
I keep trying to convey by way of my journal entries, that I am truly a submissive, but when I do not attest to knowing my ability to do things and behave in a manner some Doms require from their submissives they try to take my calling away from me. Not a chance!
I have never had a Master
I have been roaming around in the BDSM community to learn about safe, sane and consensual activities, so that if and/or when I do meet someone I am not totally ignorant of what to expect or how to engage without knowledge of what I could be getting myself into. This does not necessarily mean I crave SM.
My submissiveness and sadomasochism do not go hand and hand. I cannot in all honesty tell any Dominant male that I communicate with, what I would be willing to do or not do based on a question and answer exchange of emails or chats. It depends entirely on the Dom.
Of course I can be playful and I can submit in an intimate setting, I am quite uninhibited in general. I have submitted, and enjoyed it immensely. Could I delve deeper, be tested
hmmm, with the Dom I had been seeing last year, I definitely did, and would have continued no question! Would it be the same with YOU or anyone else? How could I possibly know that? My actions, desires and responses would be based upon who you are, where our connection lies, how sincere it is, then the mental influence would come into play
how deeply we connected?
I can be playful and challenged, having fun anywhere...but I cannot say I would want to be beat, gagged, tortured or bound up on a daily basis...I cant say I would crave being subjected to single tails, nipple clamps and paddles...those things were part of my BDSM exploration. I do not abhor them...I simply do not crave them at this place and time in my life.
I cannot honestly rule out, or rule in anything!! Judging from how I felt about the one intimate relationship I had, and it was more sexual/BDSM than it was D/s, although I was always my submissive self and he was his Dominant self, nothing was "demanded". There were requests, which I gladly submitted to...things just moved along smoothly. It was not an in your face do this bitch, type thing! It was a good, respectful, friendship with benefits. I gave this Dom freedom without question, because I trusted him, and we had amazing chemistry together
that is the only thing that leads me to believe there would be no boundaries in a true loving relationship
but I tell you, I must love the man first to consider any of it on a full time basis
I must like everything about him, and it must be reciprocated. It is NOT the kink that will attract me
it is the Dom who will attract me
I feel with the right person walls would tumble...that is my honest instinct
I simply cannot attest to it before the fact
so if you are not interested in me, the woman first, before all else
then please do not waste your time.
Let me make this analogy
if you have ever been a parent, I think you should be able to attest to the fact that sometimes it seems easier to let a child get away with some things than it is to put your foot down and work through the bad behavior that causes the tantrums. This takes a lot of effort to resolve, but you get out of it what you put into it
in this case the end result is a respectful, loving, disciplined child. I think some Doms, many in fact, consciously and some subliminally, think the sub should fit the mold because it is less work than it is to work together to make a good fit for both
-------------------------------------
"Build it and they will come..." - Field of Dreams - 1989 drama/fantasy film -
I am building my profile, maybe he will find me.
[if255 1]
My Ideal Person:
Here is my priority list as far as Doms/men go.
1. Gentleman - a tender side - not prone to use his Dominance to DOMINATE!! Patient!!
2. Well-groomed - sense of style...well-dressed.
3. Intelligent - ability to communicate a MUST!
4. Chemistry - compatibility in our thoughts and desires, sexual and otherwise.
5. Healthy sexual appetite, uninhibited, no STDs, E.D. Loves to receive and give oral. Hard core sadists need not apply.
6. Social graces - comfortable a variety of social settings of various both Vanilla and BDSM. Generosity.
7. Sense of self - confident, introspective, not pompous. Preferably a professional vocation, financially responsible/stable.
8. Sincerity - not to feel threatened about the possibility of growing a meaningful relationship. I know nothing is a given or I wouldn't be here writing this. The ability to respond, not react.
9. Sense of humor - but not at the expense of someone else's feelings...but knnow when to be silly and when to be serious.
10. Flexibility - at least to the point of listening and reasoning before making a final decision when opinions differ. Hopefully if an impasse presents itself...wise enough to consider to agree to disagree.
11. No set agenda beyond getting to know the woman/sub well enough to try to make it work.
12. Vanilla to the world outside but lickable Cherry Garcia with me! no I did not mean likable...but that too!
LUCKY 13. Good looks...beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Looks can easily eminate from the inside out.
|
9,156 Members Online NOW!
