Have you ever found yourself walking around the kitchen, looking for a quick, yummy, snack that will satisfy a craving you have, but you find yourself scratching your chin…do I want something sweet?...hmmmm, maybe something crunchy and salty…and when you finally do find something that sates you, the momentary feeling is of bliss and happiness, like hitting the bulls eye on a dart board.
That is sort of how I feel about writing this profile sometimes, because depending on my mood, different aspects of who I am and the balance I seek in a partner come out in my writing; and I try to take care in my writing because it is the first impression a person gets and its an important one.
Before I start with descriptions, let me point out that I am looking for a partner in the New England area. I live roughly 2 hours over the ME/NH border. I am perfectly willing to drive about 4 hours to spend time with my partner. This includes southern Maine all the way down to Rhode Island and some mountainous areas of Massachusetts. Because I am looking for routine, steady connection, distance past these areas won’t really work. I do realize there are airplanes, but I don’t think that either my partner or I could afford airfare once or more a month. I’m being realistic. New England area only please ( ME, NH, VT, RI, MA ).
On the “outside”, I’m a quiet, efficient, capable, strong, rock-solid and steady, self-motivated, person who has the ability to see both the forest and the trees. I bear a lot of responsibility at home and at work, and I multitask well. I find I don’t waste a lot of time or energy over the drama of problems or situations. I assess, I think, and I start to find solutions. I am an energetic, upbeat, positive, optimistic, glass-half-full kind of person and I enjoy good company, good music, good friends, and I laugh easily.
On the “inside”, I am quiet, a bit reserved, observant, and a people watcher. I’m studious and I love opportunities to learn a new concept or point of view. I love conversation, whether it is heated and opinionated or more calmly theoretical. I like attending social events, but I’m the lady who will remain close to her partner’s side, head up, with a ready, welcoming smile and firm, purposeful handshake. I speak when spoken to and I speak when I have something to contribute or say. Otherwise, I am content to listen, learn, and absorb. I like to look into a person’s eyes. The manner in which a person holds your gaze in return, and the body language they use when they do so, speaks a lot about a person’s nature and character.
In life, I appreciate honest, genuine, people who aren’t afraid to speak their minds or say how they feel, and they do it in a way that is not hurtful or judgmental to others. A person who communicates well in the written and spoken word often is the first to capture my attention. I admire a curious spirit, ready to try new things, willing to think outside the box, able to accept the opinions of others without their own being threatened. I am drawn to strong, stable, secure, emotionally content, positive thinking men.
I think of myself as passionate, but not in the all-consuming, raging fire sort of way. Mine is a deeper, longer-lasting, softer – but no less potent kind of passion. I care very deeply about those people I hold close to heart. I care a lot about living life on this earth in a way that helps preserve it rather than deteriorate it. I care about ethics and solid moral code, trust, being true to spirit and self and others. I care about investing more of my time and energy in fewer people and events and having a deeper impact than spreading my energies to the 4 winds and accomplishing little.
I have been active in my submission for 13 years, but I have known I am submissive since the age of 6. My elementary school male teachers would tell you I was always seeking ways to be of service in the classroom (clean the board, hand out papers, help carry things to the teachers lounge, etc.) My spirit would soar when they would say that I could help. I’d put my every effort into doing a stellar job and my soul would sing when I was awarded the genuine smile of thanks and the twinkle of an eye that said “I might use your help again in the future”. I sought to please and be pleasing.
That hasn’t changed much today. In my D/s relationships, which as you might guess have all been long-term investments of my time and energy, I am more or less innately obedient, I strive to please, and the words “good girl” strike at something deep within. Of course, this aching desire to please is a little more complicated today than it was back then, because I’ve lived life, learned lessons about myself and others, and am more solid in knowing who I am and what I want than I was at the tender age of 7 and 8. Because of the very assertive and dominant mode in which I must operate in day to day life, the submissive within gets pushed down pretty deep and she doesn’t get to see the light of day very often. When opportunities arise and fresh air can blow over her wings, she slowly, but resolutely, takes flight. The speed and height of ascendance has much to do with the personality and energy of my Dominant.
There are many talented dominant men in the world, but as most of we submissives know, finding that special One who compliments and augments your own nature can be hard to find. For me, Dominance and submission isn’t just about how well you can swing a flogger or tie someone up. If that were true, I’d have found someone to spank me and send me home by now. But that’s not what I’m looking for.
I seek a special, inspiring, magnetic, and mind-fuzzing chemistry with my Dominant. Of course this kind of energy can take time to develop. I don’t expect it overnight. But I’ll know the possibility exists because he and I will “get” one another pretty quickly. Conversation will come quickly, easily, and be diverse. He’ll have a sense of humor and appreciate my scientific mind. He’ll demonstrate that he enjoys getting to know me as much as I do him. I desire a Dominant who appreciates my quiet strength and intelligence, intensity, and smoldering passion, and who will challenge us to new heights together.
I am not seeking a permanent, romantic relationship. I am, however, seeking a long-term relationship that is characterized by steady, routine interaction. You may have noticed (or will notice) that I am married. My husband knows of my nature and my search and he supports me in it. He identifies as a switch (though he is more submissive by nature) and he has his own partner of 3 years now. We are not unhappy in our marriage. We love each other very much and are each other’s best friends. We have two wonderful children together. We are simply more non-conventional in our view of exploring outside the marriage. We have honestly come to understand that in this unique need of dominance and submission, we cannot fulfill each other’s needs. We saw absolutely no need to destroy a perfectly good marriage, friendship, and family dynamic. In fact, our ability to find and interact with our respective D/s partners makes us happier, more whole people and that affects all aspects of our lives. As with everything else in my life, this is also honest, above-board, and true.
For those of you out there saying “This sounds too good to be true.” I can only encourage you to see for yourself. I don’t make a habit of lying.
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My Ideal Person:
As we all do, I have a preference in the Dominant I look for. This doesn’t mean I am unwilling to consider something different if all the other aspects are present. I am tall (5’10”). Men who are as tall or taller than me are preferred. I am very fair (light-skinned, long blonde hair, blue eyes). I find that men who are darker in skin tone and hair color capture my attention more often, simply because it is so different from myself. I have met many a handsome, tall, blonde-haired or red-haired man as well. Again, these aren’t absolutes.
What is an absolute, however, is my partner’s dominant aspect. The man who I wish to claim me will identify as a dominant from the core of his being. He has simply always borne a confident, solid, assured, effective, resolute manner. People close to him consider him dependable, rock-solid, caring, and much to my chagrin, he’s probably a busy business professional who finds it challenging to find time in his schedule. Yet, the call to this power is as strong for him as it is for me, and perhaps if all aligns well, it will be easy to make the time we need.
I seek a Dominant whose purpose and intent won’t be swayed when the sweet tears of release drip down my cheeks. A man who won’t hesitate to twine his fist in my hair, pull my head back, and deliver a blistering, hot kiss. A man who will learn and respect the present limits of my mind and body, but at each step of growth not be afraid to explore new heights. A Dominant who appreciates that when the mind and emotions are fully engaged and aroused, physical response on all levels becomes pure bliss.
I have a full and happy life, but I am out of balance. I am seeking my Dominant partner who will help restore that balance. He won’t be someone I make an appointment with to “play”. I am interested in developing and sustaining a connection even when we’re not together. He’ll be a friend and confidante, someone who becomes an important and cherished part of my life (as I hope I would be for him). He won’t ever feel like he has to “fit in” with the rest of my life. He’ll be welcomed with openness, not just by me, but by my husband as well (as weird as that sounds, its true – and my husband is a good man many count lucky to have as a friend).
There is certainly more I could say, but I think I’ll end here. If any of this resonates with you, please feel free to reach out.
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