My entire life I've craved the touch of the lash, the restrictions of bindings, the release that can only come with surrendering yourself to another. A needfully dominant woman during the day, I wish only to submit after the doors close behind me. Will you take me into your hands, guide and train me?
I've been kinky longer than I've an actively sexual being - fantasizing about bondage, pain, submission, and both soft and hardcore kink since I was a small child, before I even understood what it was that I desired. As an adult, I denied my instinct for years until I realized that being submissive was a part of me that couldn't be refuted.
I have a fair amount of experience, but I'm always seeking more - I want to go farther and farther down into the rabbit hole. I love using sensation - pain/pleasure, the experience or denial thereof - as a way to push the boundaries of consciousness. Submission isn't just about sex for me - it's about spirituality, and the sense of self, and the desire to be broken in order to rebuild, and a hundred other things that only someone who has traveled far down that hole can understand.
In my day-to-day life, I'm recovering from an extended illness and rebuilding my sense of self after several devastating losses. I had to leave my career several years ago - although I miss the intellectual stimulation of work and the pleasure of earning a steady paycheck, I have to say that I don't miss cubicles or spending all my time making a profit for someone else!
In my spare time (which I seem to have too much of these days), I'm a full-time geek. I play World of Warcraft, attend local live action role playing games, and spend entirely too much time online. I also love to cook and plan to pursue a degree in photography starting this fall, and devour books like they were going out of style. My sense of humor is offkey and dry, which often leads to people believing I'm a lot more serious than I actually am - in fact, I'm almost constantly amused by the vagaries of life. Oh, and I tend to be a little long-winded.
I'm seeking a somewhat platonic play partner; while my husband accepts that I'm a submissive, he isn't into BDSM. My allowed boundaries with regards to sexual contact are firm but flexible - at least initially, penetrating sexual contact is out of the question. That may change with an established relationship.
I'm also not interested in cybering or phone sex; I was badly burned by a former Sir and his lack of honesty concerning his online activities, which left me for a serious distaste for the whole process. That means that, sorry, I'm really only interested in locals.
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My Ideal Person:
I'm looking for someone who isn't seeking a doormat or some silly little plaything - I'm a fiercely intelligent, opinionated, and independent woman. My ideal is someone who is honest, intelligent, straightforward, and drama-free; someone who won't whine "topping from the bottom" whenever a scene is negotiated or boundaries communicated (believe me, I know and understand the difference between honest communication and topping from the bottom - and so should you). I'm looking for someone who has more than just a little honest-to-deity real-life experience - if you don't know how to wield a flogger or think that cyber D/s actually counts, keep looking. I've had enough of those jokers to last me a lifetime.
Most importantly, I'm looking for someone who understands that kink is more than just hijinks in bed or a way to get off; for some, it goes far deeper than that, into the core of who we are. If you can grok those dichotomies - the aggressive submissive seeking someone who understands that kink isn't just about sex - then let's talk.
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