It has been a little over eight years since I believed that my submissive desires were mine alone and that they existed only in my imagination. I felt I could tell no one of my thoughts and deep desires....until I stumbled into a BDSM chat room. There I began to learn that although I march to the beat of a different drummer, at least I am not alone.
Its like living in a cave for a lifetime, never knowing sunlight existed. I dove into that light headfirst, I took real life chances that I would never suggest to anyone, and was very lucky. BDSM isnt an easy lifestyle choice, it can be fraught with dangers and scary things. It is, all at the same time, freighting, erotic, awkward and socially unacceptable. I have lost friends because of my lifestyle, which is a high price to pay for a sexual experience, but I believe I have to be true to myself. Once I discovered real life BDSM, tried it, liked it, adopted it as my own, it became an undeniable part of me. For me to deny that I am a submissive would be like denying that I am a woman. It is that clear.
The fact is that BDSM has changed my life. Never have I experienced anything so psychologically potent, so physically powerful, so emotionally satisfying. Never have I felt as free and the freedom is longer lasting that just the duration of my D/s play. It is a continuing freedom and courage to explore myself with a strength that I lacked before BDSM came into my life.
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My Ideal Person:
You will control Yourself, so that You might control me. You will, as a stern Dom cause tears to flow, and as a lover, kiss them away. An unashamed romantic, You cherish Your submissive. Yet always remain aware of the difference between fantasy and reality. When there is need, You are ready to leave the roles behind to be a friend. You are an honorable sadist who uses the pain to extend the bounds of pleasure, vigilant that no harms come of the hurt. You are the mentor and guide who takes me into flight, with wind beneath my wings and my tether to the earth. Enveloping me with Your strength, You lend me the courage to reach new heights. I do not desire to submit, i am compelled to surrender. He who takes me by the hand, guides me, and teaches me, He who leads me to become the most that i can be, IS the one who inspires my surrender.
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