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i am often asked why do i think i want to be a slave; each time i am asked this, i start to question myself. yes, i suppose it was all stemmed from an unusual past; my grandfather, a stranger, and even a marriage or two. they are all stepping stones to the path that i am on. while it is that some of these events in my life would be painful to most; to me, they were all intoxicatingly wonderful; merely seeds that grew into a need to move further and deeper into a world that i believe i was made for. the experiences i have in life, and the thrill from it all tell me; this is who i really am; a slave.
[if255 1]
My Ideal Person:
in my dreams, my Master loves me in an obscenly, dark and mysterious way. His desire to get pleasure from my pain and devotion arouses me with fear and anticipaiton. His sexual experiments and torture pushes my mind, body, and spirit past the far reaches of reality. and as i am streached past the limits i have set for myself, i take notice in how my tears of pain and sadness please my Master. i am overcome with the need to give him more. He takes away my pain with his love; giving comfort to his beaten and tortured slave. i love and worship everything about him.
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