You may start seeing Violet Blue everywhere. She's in October's O Magazine. She'll be on Playboy TV's Sexcetera in January. She's been interviewed in countless magazines, and when you seek out sex tips at your local book store, you'll find she has her own collection in the Sex and Health section: The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos (see the review in our archives), and hot off the presses, Violet Blue's latest compendium, The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy (look for the review, this week in our "Sex in the News" column.) She has worked for years in San Francisco's favorite sex toy store, Good Vibrations. And then the sexy Blue goes into a phone booth and comes out: Battlebot Girl, where she is a member of the team at SRI (Survival Research Laboratories, creators of huge robotic war games) -- actually even as Battlebot girl, she's sexy (as you can see from the photo).

If you missed parts 1 or 2 of this interview, they're alive and well and living in our archive. But to get you started, here's where we left off:

"ALT.com: One of our members wrote for advice recently asking, "Do lesbian women ever just need a man?" I think your discussion of the differences between porn with bi-girl action and lesbian porn was very enlightening in this regard -- in terms of the totally different sensibilities between lesbian and bisexual sexuality. Could you talk a little about this?..."

And so here's the 3rd and final part of our interview with Violet Blue:


BLUE: I'm not a lesbian, but I do know that lesbians don't "need" men -- but I understand that sometimes a few might like to have sex with men. The mainstream lesbian porn we see tends to depict "two girls gettin' by without a man," and shows sex acts between women that come right from pornoland's girl-girl formulas. The truth is, actual lesbian sex is way more than that, and there is a whole spectrum of lesbian sexuality that mainstream porn has never depicted for its viewers -- and they might never even go there. The closest pornoland came was when the dyke-made "Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels" (SIR Video) won an Adult Video News award, and in it we saw real lesbian sex, real dykes getting off with strap-ons, and much, much more. The real stuff lesbians do, as opposed to the long fingernails and the impossible to maneuver double dildos.

Every standard straight, or heterosexual, adult video contains an obligatory girl–girl scene -- a scene in which two or more of the starlets have sex. Girl-girl porn, by definition, is a staged act and not for the pleasure of the participants but for the pleasure of the viewer (defined as male). Most of the women who do the scenes are not considered lesbian, by the industry or themselves, and certainly not by "real" lesbians. It’s clear that these women are working and are "lesbian for pay." (Though it is interesting to note that there are lesbians in the porn world who do these girl-girl scenes for work. Confused yet?)

A good girl-girl scene will have you absolutely glued to the screen, as you watch two women tell each other exactly how to make each other come -- and then do it. It's quite hot.

But quite a few lesbians like to watch porn and they want to see the real thing. Real lesbian porn, by contrast, is where you’ll see not only actual lesbians, but also a surprising range of female sexuality. And it’s tough not to get aroused watching what you know is sex purely for the participants, rather than an act that by definition is staged.

ALT.com: With the rapid rise and fall of dot-coms, is it hard to keep the resources in your guides updated? Are there some types of resources that are more long-lasting and dependable than others?

BLUE: That's why I tend to avoid listing blogs and porn sites in my resources, and prefer to list education sites and online retailers that have been around for a while. You can never tell what's going to happen with someone's site -- people change their minds, get "real" jobs, porn stars become religious… you never know!

ALT.com: What are your pet peeves in terms of sexual awareness (or lack) or openness (or lack), things you maybe run across in your lectures/workshops?

BLUE: My biggest pet peeve is being treated like a sex worker simply because the topic of my work is sex. I've commiserated with a lot of other women in the sex writing and retailing business, and they get treated this way, too -- it's like some people think that because we're willing to discuss sex in a normal way, it's okay to be socially inappropriate with us, hit on us, make rude comments, or ask extremely personal questions. And the crazy too-much-information emails we get -- and it's not like they're asking for advice. You wouldn't believe the things people have asked or said to me during book signings -- in front of crowds of people! One man blurted across a book table at me in front of about 20 people, "Have you ever seen a micropenis?" I mean, was he confessing, offering...? Now it's hilarious in retrospect, but at the time it was make-your-skin-crawl-creepy. So the lesson is, don't hit on the girl behind the counter at the sex shop -- she'd make the first move if she wanted to, I assure you.

ALT.com: The STD transmission charts that turn up in your Guides can be downright depressing. Dental dams, condoms, all this plastic mediation between flesh and flesh. Since a lot of our members enjoy (and are pursuing) casual sex, could you tell us some of your favorite, creative ways to turn all this prophylactic sterility into hot, clean fun?

BLUE: I know, it's easy to get bogged down by the risks. But those charts are so people can make an informed choice -- and be able to have all the facts if they need to make any decisions. Plus, I wanted to really warn people against trying out what they see in porn, because they never show that the performers have mandatory STD/HIV tests every 30 days, and that a lot of prep goes into certain sex acts that look effortless onscreen. And these performers take a lot of risks, too.

It's really not so sterile at all -- when I'm on a date and a guy pulls out a condom or glove, I'm like, phew, now I can relax into the sex and not worry about whether he knows what he's doing (or if his hands that just pet my cat are going on *my* pussy). Know what I mean? Think about it -- how much fun is she going to have if she's worried about asking you to wear a condom. Not much at all; talk about a buzzkill. When you get to know each other better, you'll take steps to get the barriers out of your life, but for now, it'll be more enjoyable if you can just get it on. Being proactive about safer sex gear tells your lover that you care, you're smart about sex, and that you want them to relax. It also gives you an aura of sexual savvy and confidence. After that, take your time with the safer sex gear, go slow -- drag out the application until they're chomping at the bit for more. Tease, torment, and then give them what they really want!

ALT.com: I saw your article on how a man's diet can affect the taste of his
semen -- do you have any updated scoop on that one? How about favorite
recommendations or recipes for tasty semen?

BLUE: Citrus, mango and cucumber really do work -- but he has to refrain from strong foods and vitamins for a few days while drinking a juice mixture for it to work.

Here's a recipe for a drink that incorporates many popular come sweetening ingredients -- try drinking it for three days in a row. It's part of a balanced breakfast, like a good blowjob.

Super Spunk Smoothie

1 cup pineapple, fresh, canned or juice
1 cup mango juice
1 banana
1/2 cucumber, peeled and seeded
1/2 tsp fresh ginger
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbs. honey

Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth. Drink immediately. Repeat daily for best results!

ALT.com: If a woman and her man have never experienced rimming, what are the most important things to do to make the first experience good for both?

BLUE: Cleanliness is always a prime concern, so do shower or take a bath before any rimming adventures. Pay particular attention to cleaning the anal area, too. I highly recommend getting clean together -- and you can take your first taste of rimming in the tub together.

ALT.com: In your Fellatio Guide, I found the section on pressure points, the idea of releasing a man's sexual tension as you're giving him fellatio, really interesting. Could you share one or two of the most surprising or useful pressure point maneuvers with us?

BLUE: The most useful point that works for both women and men is the area just on the crest (top, center) of the pubic bone. On men, this is just where the penis meets the body, and on women, above the clitoris. Firm, steady pressure here increases blood flow to the genital area, and you can use this point as a warm-up, and during oral sex. Use the flat part of your fingertips if possible, or have your lover press their own point while you go down.

ALT.com: I loved Molly Kiely's illustrations in the Guide to Fellatio -- they have attitude and a whole different sensibility regarding sexpertise. How do you think they reflect your personal approach to sex education?

BLUE: Perfectly -- they're playful and cute, casual, a little retro without feeling dated, and informative. They're meant to be sexy, like a dirty comic book, and with all the sexual playfulness that comes from comic and 'zine culture. I just love Molly's work, and I was a big fan of her comic, Diary of a Dominatrix. She's got this brilliant graphic style -- I was thrilled when she wanted to work with me on the oral sex books! Many sex book illustrations either look too sterile for my tastes or too 1970s -- I wanted what I was seeing in my favorite erotic comic books!

ALT.com: Do you recommend penetrating a guy while giving him head? Do you think
most guys can enjoy this?

BLUE: If he's open to the experience, definitely try it. I highly recommend that the first couple of times, don't actually penetrate him, just massage the outer rim of the anus while you fellate. Many men will be afraid of experiencing pain and feel worried, so it's important to show that they can have their bottoms played with and have it not hurt at all -- though it is such a highly pleasurable experience for men, it's likely he'll be asking (if not begging) for you to slip inside a little...! It's incredibly pleasurable for men, not only because the anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings that respond highly to pleasurable stimulation, but because the prostate gland is just inside -- a gland that feels so good to stimulate it can sometimes trigger spontaneous orgasm when massaged. That, and the taboo of trying something "dirty" or forbidden is a huge turn on for everyone. I also feel that being inside a man is incredibly intimate.

ALT.com: I find your involvement in the Survival Research Labs fascinating.
What's your proudest moment with SRL? Could you tell us about one of the
performances you were involved in that stands out for you? What role did you play?

BLUE: I have so many moments at Survival Research Laboratories that I'm proud of -- I've been with the organization for nearly ten years. I think that every time I go to the machine shop and work I do something I didn't know I could, I learn something new, or I have an experience that makes me feel good about my life. Perhaps what sums my experience and happiness the most is a photo taken during the LA show a while back, a shot with Mark Pauline (the founder and director) in silhouette in the foreground, and a huge blast of flame stretching across the picture -- and in front of the huge flame is a little figure, crouched down with a remote control, braving the flame and operating a machine. That's me! That's one of the main things I do there. It's dangerous, it's crazy and I love it. That show I did a little of everything that I do there -- forklift driving, carpentry, electrical work, machine maintenance and operation, directing a crew, constructing and hanging props, assisting with a few production details, help put out the fires... I've learned a bit of everything, so I get to do whatever needs to be done. After the show is over, I help with the beer drinking.

ALT.com: You mentioned that you've got a new Guide on fantasies coming out that
lists AdultFriendfinder in the resources! I actually wasn't aware of this. It sounds like an interesting and juicy concept. Can you tell us a little about the book, the ideas, and maybe even tease us with a steamy tip or two about sexy fantasy play?

BLUE: I'm so excited and proud of The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy. I tend not to tell people I'm putting them in the resources sections of my books because I don't want to garner any sort of favoritism; I want to give objective resources.

The book is a gold mine for fantasies and ideas, and how to make them reality. I was inspired by the success of the Sweet Life and Taboo anthologies, fictional erotic stories where couples explicitly try out their number-one sexual fantasies. These books have popular and edgy fantasies in them, feature incredibly explicit sex, but also serve as a guide to show you how to try the fantasies in real life -- they're realistic to the last detail. I worked closely with the writers on the details. So I wanted to take that concept even further. So Ult. Fantasies is a guidebook primarily for couples, but also for singles with a focus on women. You get to decide if you want to keep fantasies in the day-dream, imaginary state, but just make them a bit more realistic -- or go "all the way" and make them real. Say for instance you have a fantasy about having sex with two people at once, two strangers. The book explains how to explicitly simulate this at home, or how to take that fantasy into the world for real, including sex clubs, swing clubs, personal ads, cruising, and even a huge section on how to try a threesome with your lover without jealousy.

There's a big section on sharing fantasies with your lover, and how to find out their number one fantasy so you can make it come true... plus concrete and explicit how-tos on role-play without feeling dorky, going to strip clubs, seeing a call girl together, public sex, sex with strangers, threesomes and orgies, making your own porn, stripping, lap dancing and talking dirty, a titillating and informative section on fetishes (from ordinary to extreme), and a chapter on kink. People interested in kink will be excited to know that it's not a chapter on tying knots -- it's actually what to do when you play dominant and submissive, or just play with sensual body toys, with tons of ideas. Plus, there are a bunch of racy sex games, and oodles of fantasy ideas. Want to make that nurse or naughty schoolgirl scenario happen? Need ideas for more? No problem.

So you see how AdultFriendFinder was a natural fit for my resource list -- it's a terrific resource for so many people to make their fantasies come true.

ALT.com: Your web site is tinynibbles.com -- so are there some sex secrets in
the art of tiny nibbles that we should know about?

BLUE: It is an ancient lovemaking art passed down through the ages from nibbler to nibbler. That is all I can tell you.

ALT.com: Ha, ha.

[Violet Blue is currently at work on Best American Sex Essays, a collection of nonfiction "sex and culture" stories. Feel free to visit her web site, tinynibbles.com]

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