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Only with trust is it possible to surrender to the seductive fantasy of having our freedom taken away in the bedroom. As my friend Kaye put it, “once the ropes on my skin tighten, the ropes within me loosen.” According to Wikipedia, unofficial surveys show three-quarters of the men in the US find bondage erotic. I dare add that quite a few women are also into it! You can trust me on this. I did my own survey during my 20+ years of kinky play and the allure of being tied up and ravished by your lover is one big common turn-on.
Bondage games increase both the illusion of having no choice and your bottom’s sense of vulnerability and helplessness. And that is hot! Jasmine writes of her time with her Mistress Margaret and me in my playroom, “I loved being pinned face down, rope around my breasts running down through my labia rings, ankles far apart spread eagle on your bondage table in my high heels, little white socks, and really tight gorgeous corset. I was already flying when I heard the click of the lock on the hood you encased my face in. My ass was completely exposed. I was really helpless, really vulnerable. I was in heaven.”
“I heard the cane whip through the air. Oh God. I was definitely in heaven. I don’t know how long I was there, how much caning I took; only that I felt totally immersed in it, so completely objectified, and I didn’t want it to stop. Then you slid your fingers in my asshole and I just wanted to be fucked senseless…you took this moment to ask me, ‘now how do you feel in your frilly white socks with my finger up your butt, like a good girl or a Slut?’”
“Your timing could not have been better,” Jasmine continues. “I felt like a Slut and I said so. And I didn’t want to be anything else at that moment. I was so turned on by the way you humiliated me. You freed my right hand and ordered me to masturbate. I was about to cum while you hit my butt with a paddle. The tight ropes on my flesh and your willingness to hurt me, your joy at my desire to be hurt, brought me to a massive orgasm.” Her Mistress and I felt that explosive release too. I sure love playing with couples!
Bondage was a big component of that great ride and it wasn’t really complicated or time consuming. You can go a long way with some soft rope, a few knots and basic knowledge of where and where not to tie. Dear friends and co-educators in kink, Dan and JD of the Two Knotty Boys, always remind those who take their workshops “we are not tying knots, we’re tying people.” Of course, you want your rope work to be secure and attractive! For some, though, rope is a fetish and nothing will make them fly like tight rows of hemp cords biting gently into their flesh.
Bill -- I call him my chairman -- never tires of his one fantasy. Once he’s seated on a leather chair in front of my full-length mirror, first comes the big gag in his mouth. Then I have him cross his hands behind his back and press his thighs together as I tie him down. As soon as I am done he starts to strain against his bonds and sure enough his cock immediately stands at attention! He struggles and tries to get loose but, really, if he did, he would be disappointed, and so would I. I keep my eyes on him; I know he won’t escape and will eventually surrender in bliss.
Please, do NOT leave your restrained partner alone. Surprises can arise for you or your helpless slut, captive, patient or love slave. Earthquakes, medical emergencies, emotional upset or breakthrough can occur. When the Loma Prieta earthquake rocked my dungeon in 1989, I had a young man tied down on my bondage table. Heart pounding, I freed him first and we escaped together into the backyard. For years, he called me on the anniversary of that memorable day to say thank you.
Whether you only want to use quick and easy bondage in your bedroom or create a work of art for a leather conference, the more you do, the better you get. The Two Knotty Boys have made learning ties easier than ever these days, with lots of clever clips on YouTube. Search for 2knottyboys rope in hand! My docu-play video, Tie Me Up, is also filled with commonsense tips and step by step instructions as well as a couple of real-time scenes filmed with real players in my own playspace.
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I also secured a heavy metal collar around his neck linking it to his wrist and ankle cuffs. Inescapable! I ordered him to slowly crawl into a solid metal people cage. Kindly, I allowed him a pillow and a thin mattress pad before padlocking the door and bidding him good night.
I had purchased a baby sound monitor for the occasion so that I could retire to my bedroom and get a good night’S sleep. The next morning during our aftercare discussion, it was clear that my captive enjoyed his night a lot more than I did! Although I knew that I could hear Philip should he be in trouble, I kept waking up from bizarre captivity dreams. I surely felt the weight of responsibility for his safety. Meanwhile, Philip has had one of the best night’s sleeps, filled with delicious erotic dreams!
Play safely in your pursuit of bondage happiness. If you are on your way to get tied up by a new partner, let a friend know where you are going and what time you will call to say you’re back. Bondage, plain or fancy, can be sexy, risky, empowering, humbling, calming and extremely liberating for those bound to be free.
In leather pride, with heart,
Cleo Dubois
www.sm-arts.com
When not writing for ALT, Ms. Dubois enjoys mentoring couples in private, guided play at her SF Bay are dungeon. You'll find her couples page at:
www.sm-arts.com/coaching/index.html
Winter Schedule:
- Discover the dark side of your eroticism with Cleo at One Taste SF on Wednesday, December 13, 2007! Learn how to talk about it and explore it safely. Come discover the fantasy of power play and your erotic imagination.
http://onetastesf.com/ot/ot_calendar/index.php?m=12&y=2007
- Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
February 9-10, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9
Dominate with presence and passion!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/men.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-men.html
- Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Women & Women Who Switch
April 5-6, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9!
Gain the confidence you need to make your scenes soar!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-women.html
For updates go to: www.sm-arts.com/upcoming.html
