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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? 26/10/2019
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
... all! hahahah!
1 Commentaires, 13 Consultations,
9 Votes
,1.29 Score
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make your point 20/10/2019
Hoping to make lots of points here.
1 Commentaires, 6 Consultations,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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Points 20/10/2019
Hey there, points points points.
2 Commentaires, 12 Consultations,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
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looking at you 14/10/2019
looking for a woman here can be very hard because all they
want is what they prefer there wants most of the ladies
here don;t even realize that they are way off on there wants
there nothing here that is perfect you want all that tell
we see your picture and we see that your fucking joking ladies
wake up this is not fantasy world your not everything you
though you where believe most men here at ...
0 Commentaires, 16 Consultations,
9 Votes
,1.29 Score
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Point de vue 13/10/2019
Trois femmes – une fiancée, une maitresse, une mariée
– sont en train de parler de leur relation avec leur homme.
Elles décident de faire quelque chose pour exciter leur
homme et de se rencontrer quelques jours plus tard pour
en reparler et se raconter comment cela s’est passé.
Elles s’engagent à attendre leur homme le soir même,
vêtue d’un corset genre SM, hauts talons, bas ...
0 Commentaires, 16 Consultations,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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Le légume sado maso 12/10/2019
Quel est le légume le plus sado maso ? L'artichaut
car d'abord on lui coupe la queue, on lui arrache les
poils et seulement après on lui bouffe le cul !
2 Commentaires, 11 Consultations,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Une femme qui n'a jamais pris la pilule 12/10/2019
Comment appelle-t-on une femme qui n'a jamais pris
la pilule ? Maman.
0 Commentaires, 14 Consultations,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Knock Knock 7/9/2019
whos there ?
3 Commentaires, 26 Consultations,
11 Votes
,0.92 Score
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Good Ears 16/8/2019
A young man moved into his first new apartment on his own,
and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While
there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment
next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at
the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious
that she had nothing else on. The poor broke into ...
1 Commentaires, 45 Consultations,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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Sextherapeut 22/7/2019
Ein Paar, beide 58 bei einem Sextherapeuten: Der Arzt fragt:
"Was kann ich für Sie tun? Der Mann antwortet: "Würden
sie uns beim Sex zuschauen?" Der Arzt schaut etwas
vertattert drein aber er stimmt zu. Als das Ehepaar "fertig"
ist sagt der Therapeut: "Es ist nichts aussergewöhnliches
bei ihrer Art Sex zu haben", und verlangt 50 Euro für
die Sitzung. Dieses wiederholt sich mehrere Male ...
1 Commentaires, 341 Consultations,
22 Votes
,4.33 Score
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Beim Chef angekommen? 21/7/2019
Der Papst stirbt und kommt an die Himmelstür. Petrus begrüßt
ihn und
fragt nach seinem Namen. 'Ich bin der Papst!'
- 'Papst, Papst',
murmelt Petrus. 'Tut mir leid, ich habe niemanden
mit diesem Namen
in meinem Buch.' - 'Aber... ich bin der Stellvertreter
Gottes auf
Erden!' - 'Gott hat einen Stellvertreter auf
Erden?' sagt Petrus
verblüfft. 'Komisch, hat er mir gar nichts von ...
1 Commentaires, 172 Consultations,
14 Votes
,6.50 Score
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Nach 11 Jahren! 21/7/2019
Ein schiffbrüchiger Matrose wird nach elf Jahren allein
auf
einereinsamen Insel gerettet. Eine gut aussehende Ärztin
untersucht
ihn. 'Sie sind körperlich und geistig in erstaunlich
guter
Verfassung. Wie haben Sie eigentlich Ihre sexuellen Bedürfnisse
befriedigt, wenn ich fragen darf?' - 'Das war
kein Problem, es gab
einen hohlen Baumstamm, ein bisschen Moos an die Aushöhlung, ...
1 Commentaires, 559 Consultations,
27 Votes
,5.13 Score
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Die Vaseline! 21/7/2019
Ein Biker kauft sich eine neue vor Chrom glänzende Harley.
Der
Verkäufer gibt ihm noch den Tipp mit: 'Bevor es anfängt
zu regnen,
sollten Sie Chrom immer mit Vaseline einreiben. So bleibt
es immer
glänzend und Rost hat eine Chance! Dieses Glas Vaseline
gebe ich
Ihnen gleich gratis dazu.' 'Toll!' denkt
sich der Biker. Mit der
neuen Maschine fährt er gleich bei seiner neuen ...
13 Commentaires, 8533 Consultations,
433 Votes
,7.12 Score
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So schn 21/7/2019
Peterchen spielt draußen. Nach einer halben Stunde kommt
er ins Haus. "Oma, meine Hände sind so kalt."
Diese rät ihm: "Geh rauf in dein Zimmer und reib sie
dir schön warm."
Peterchen tut dies und geht anschließend wieder raus,
um an seinem Schneemann weiterzubauen. Später kommt er
wieder rein. "Oma, meine Füße sind so kalt."
Wieder Omas Rat. "Geh rauf und reib sie dir schön ...
1 Commentaires, 162 Consultations,
12 Votes
,6.33 Score
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mostly harmless 19/7/2019
Ein Pärchen sitzt in einer Bar, als sie irgendwann meint:
"Schatz, ich kenn einen tollen Cocktail, willst
ihn net mal ausprobieren?". Er willigt ein, und sie bestellt einen Bailey´s und frisch
gepressten Limettensaft.
"Es ist etwas schwierig diesen Cocktail richtig
zu trinken, du musst zuerst den Bailey´s in den Mund schütten,
dann erst den Limettensaft hinter". Er machts genauso wie ...
1 Commentaires, 75 Consultations,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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Born When? 21/6/2019
I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and told
her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman
was born, simply by holding their breasts in my hands. <br><br>
She thought I was having her on but was nonetheless very
curious. <br><br>
Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said
“Oh go-on then, give it a go!” <br><br>
I ...
3 Commentaires, 58 Consultations,
10 Votes
,3.39 Score
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I always laugth on this 21/6/2019
This reminds me, when i was tied up by the first time, and
suddenly I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't
6 Commentaires, 118 Consultations,
22 Votes
,6.37 Score
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Affair 25/5/2019
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her
husband is having
an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The
next day she
comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs
the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out
of bed,
begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically
the
blonde responds to ...
1 Commentaires, 68 Consultations,
41 Votes
,7.00 Score
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The Drinking Irishmen 25/5/2019
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints
of Guinness
and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each
on in turn.
When he finished them, he comes back into to the bar and orders
three more.
<br>
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat
after I draw it; it
would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, ...
1 Commentaires, 68 Consultations,
52 Votes
,7.70 Score
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Organist 5/4/2019
A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist
and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled
while she played the organ. <br><br>
Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation. The
very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something
had to be done about this or they would have to get another
organist. <br><br>
<br><br>
So, one ...
1 Commentaires, 47 Consultations,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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ER Visit 24/1/2019
A man goes into the ER complaining of anal pain. The doctor
orders x-rays to see what's going on. When reviewing
the x-rays they notice 3 plastic heads inside the
man's ass. The nurse looks at the doctor and says...
<br><br>
"Doctor, will he be alright?" <br><br>
The doctor replies.... <br><br>
"Don't worry nurse he's ...
1 Commentaires, 28 Consultations,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Crumbled Money/// 23/12/2018
While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks
her husband, in a very seductive voice, "Have you
ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?" "No, "
said her husband. <br><br>
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or
4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the
cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled
out a ...
1 Commentaires, 32 Consultations,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Teacher Arrested 5/11/2018
Teacher Arrested
A public school teacher was arrested today at Heathrow
International airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass,
a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Theresa May said she believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
she did not identify the man, ...
1 Commentaires, 19 Consultations,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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The Statues... 30/10/2018
A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at
night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives
and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both
the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real
man and woman in the bushes behind them to "get things
done." The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the
wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the ...
2 Commentaires, 76 Consultations,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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Honeymoon Parrot 25/10/2018
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and
taken it to their
room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird
kept up a running
commentary on their love-making.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened
to
give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.
<br>
The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't
close a
...
1 Commentaires, 78 Consultations,
76 Votes
,7.73 Score
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My Travel Plans for 2018-2019 18/10/2018
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots
with someone. <br><br>
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes
you there. <br><br>
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport;
you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there,
thanks to my , ...
1 Commentaires, 23 Consultations,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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All idiot 16/10/2018
Teacher: All idiots stand up.
A boy stands up.
Teacher: So you are an idiot?
Boy: No. I can’t bear your standing alone Sir.
3 Commentaires, 92 Consultations,
10 Votes
,5.18 Score
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AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE 13/10/2018
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice.
The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty
days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty
pounds. <br><br>
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after
thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed
lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and
thanked him for ...
1 Commentaires, 41 Consultations,
14 Votes
,3.94 Score
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A Drunk 13/10/2018
A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling
back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help
you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man
replies. The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw
it?' 'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down ...
1 Commentaires, 38 Consultations,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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Three Little Pigs 12/10/2018
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter
came and took their drink order. <br><br>
'I would like a Sprite, ' said the first little
piggy. <br><br>
<br><br>
! 'I would like a Coke, ' said the second little
piggy. <br><br>
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer, ' said the
third little piggy. ...
3 Commentaires, 32 Consultations,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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