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UPDATE: OCTOBER 28th. My computer is having issues and am sending it to HP. Under warrenty, so have no choice. They say this will take 2 weeks. Yeah, that sucks. If you have written me a letter I wanted to respond to, I will not be able to. If you are thinking of writing me a letter, please hold off.
lolol. I scanned thru a number of profiles on this site, wondering what was behind each one of them, WHO was behind each one of them. They all have a human tale to tell. So, here is my story: I join the gang I suppose.
I shine on the outside as if I know everyhing that I do, and boy, do I ever pull that off well. Since deep down secretly I am not always sure of exactly how I got things done or mastered my latest victory. Amazing since I have a ton of trophy's for winning. Things just fall into place properly and carefully. with a whole lot of common sence. (Oh, I forgot, I put in hard work and dedication too. Mixed with a dash of pride, and finally a promise to be the best I can possibly be) lol.
Thats how I think of D/S also....being the best that I can be. Mind blowing. Creative, Wild, Calm, Intense, Sweet, Honest, An occasional Brat, An extreme Slut, A princess, A very bad little girl, A slave of mind thru body, and finally (god, I do hope so)---a real decent friend.
I spent most of my life being everyones best friend, "Dear Abbey", counselor, financial lender, and run of the mill "Rock of Gibralter". Sadly it stupidly took me untill middle age (my god I am there now), to realise I could not save the world. Instead, I concenrate on me. I'v done my good deeds in life. I'v racked up a zillion Brownie Points. It's not that I am mean or anything now, just more wisely picking the people I allow into my inner circle. Who has time anymore to save the world?
Well, I do on occasion still I suppose, afterall we all have to give a little back.
The flip side of me is electric, strong, full of curiosity. The life style that D/S offers is like a drug, that you can't let go of. Once someone has properly taken you into the baby pool of it, you just can't stay swimming in the normal river after that. No matter how nice a guy he is, or how cute, it all boils down to one thing.....if this darker edge isn't part of his life, then one day I'll end up being some married women looking to cheat on the side because I am not filled inside myself or complete. Seems to me that avenue and road is the beginning of the end. Granted my experience is not extensive, but my ideas, fantasies, needs, and thoughts are equal to anyone who is very experienced. Someone needs to make me follow the leader is all. And, if I can't follow the leader, then I suppose that I'm due for a needed spanking.
[if254 1]
My Ideal Person:
In all honesty Id like to find someone that is easy to talk to. A mixture of friendship thru sex. That kind of person you can play "Mut & Jeff" with, be serious with, playfull with all in the same evening. Someone that knows how to make sex at the end of the day be intense, hard core, kinky, and when needed soft as well. It would be so awesome to fall in rythem and trust with someone that role playing wasn't akward, and that I could bring out the hidden slut from behind door number three, after you already saw behind door number one, and door number two. For me, that has to be a man that is absolutly in control. Not wishy washy.
I am sub. Right thru to my bones. But it takes that cerain someone of dominance, that I respect, that I so need to please, to bring me from A to Z.
Mostly, mostly of all:
I want it to be like the Wizard of Oz. To follow the yellow brick road. Moments of skipping happily, moments when hair may stand on end in the dark forest, a search with friend looking for his heart, but I do prefer he already had a brain. The great journey to the ultimate story book land of OZ. What a trip that would be. To be tought, inspired, to endure, to learn......and then finally one day reach the point, when I clicked my heels three times, looked up with adoring eyes, and quietly said "theres no place like home". 
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