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After reading a few really well thought out profiles, I’ve decided it’s high time to update my own.
I don’t disown anything I’ve written in the past, but I think I can now better articulate my hopes and dreams. You can be the judge!
I didn’t think this needed to be stated but after a couple of decades in and around the kink world, I now understand that I do. I am very much what I say I am. I am real. I am genuine. I’m single and not looking to waste anyone’s time.
I kind of hate the terminology associated with this lifestyle. Terms like submissive and dominant are certainly too broad. And the idea of ‘play’ makes it sound like this is a silly game. It’s not for me. Is anyone really a slave? Is it even possible in this day and age? I can’t imagine any dominant out there really wants to micromanage anyone else’s life. Who has the time for that?
I don’t know that I’m submissive per say. I’m certainly not a doormat. I have many well formed opinions and am all too willing to express them even when there are consequences. I am very submissive under the appropriate circumstances. I’m forced to be fairly dominant in my daily life.
I write software professionally. It can be a never ending torrent of brain teasers and frustrations at times and working with teams of other programmers can be worse than wrangling cats. If only corporal punishment was appropriate in corporate board rooms…
So what am I looking for. That’s easy. A partner. Someone to share the joys and sorrows of day to day life with. Someone to be my plus one on those rare occasions I need one. Someone I can stand across the room from an marvel at. Someone who makes me forget the other people in the room. Someone who enjoys doing things. Concerts, hiking, country fairs, stuff in general. Someone who is also content to stay home and enjoy each others company.
Of course, in my dream world she’s a strict disciplinarian. Not that I need one. I’m a reasonably well behaved kind of guy and my life is pretty well looked after.
I used to think I was just turned on by discipline but I understand it better now. I’ve finally figured out that I don’t actually like it at all. Being spanked hurts!
No, what I’ve come to understand is that I have some deep down need for it. Not really to correct anything I’ve done wrong – hopefully. It’s about the accountability to someone. A measure of devotion if you will. When I’m sitting at my desk and get a text message like, “The most recent credit card bill just came in and you can expect some quality time over my knee when you get home…” sends a shiver to my very core. Honestly, the time dreading the inevitable is far more impactful (pun intended) than the consequences.
Of course, as I truly hope to never do anything that actually incurs punishment, I’m a big fan of maintenance discipline. Something scheduled. Something that I dread and dwell on knowing that I can’t escape.
Because of my motivations with respect to all this requires a measure of realism. I know for many – on both sides of the paddle – this is kinky foreplay and never goes beyond a few light taps that may cause a little redness. My needs go deeper. In my dream world, consequences are severe and unpleasant, though not senselessly brutal.
One question that comes up a lot is whether or not this is sexual at all. There’s no good answer there. Yes, it is but it’s not all about sex and the lack of sexual gratification can be incredibly sexual. Chastity is one of the most counterintuitive turn ons known to man.
I guess the bottom line to me is that it’s very sexual but that doesn’t necessarily mean sex has to be involved. Hard to wrap your head around I suppose but it’s the best way I can describe my views on the matter.
An emotional connection is required for me. I really am looking for a long term relationship. Along the way, I’m more than happy to make friends with similar or even different interests. I’ve been across a lap or two with non relationship oriented friends but under those circumstances, the dynamic is different as you can imagine.
I could go on and on with an endless list of interests both kinky and not. I love to make things. I do quite a bit of woodworking. I do a lot of 3D design and printing. If there’s a way you can take raw materials and turn it into something useful or beautiful, I probably enjoy doing it.
I’m REALLY into music. I’m a musician myself and it occupies much of my free time. My rock star dreams have long faded but nothing makes the insanity of the world fade away than some time coming up with a #1 hit that no one will ever hear.
I have a zillion other interests. I do not lack for hobbies. I don’t get bored often.
I’m educated. Both officially and unofficially. I’m well read and well travelled. I love experiencing everything the world has to offer. Well, maybe not everything.
I hope to hear from you.
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